Hair shirts and chest thumping.

Conservative Christians are terrified.  They are terrified of offending women, especially women in feminist rebellion.  This creates a problem, because conservative Christians still want to condemn the outcome of feminism.  The question is, how to condemn the outcome of feminism without offending feminists?

For an example of the fear conservative Christians have of offending feminists, critics accused the movie Mom’s Night Out of not only failing to pander to women, but of being anti-feminist:

Directed by brothers Andrew and Jon Erwin, this ostensible femme-powerment film is strangely unsympathetic, even demeaning, to its target audience. Rather than pandering to moms, this unfunny, unabashedly anti-feminist comedy consistently points out how wrong or unnecessary or ungrateful they are.

Failing to pander to women, and even worse, being anti-feminist are serious charges to a conservative Christian!  According to The Blaze, the creators of the movie were alarmed at these accusations.  ‘Moms’ Night Out’ Director Blasts ‘Alarming’ Media Reviews Calling Film ‘Unabashedly Anti-Feminist’ and ‘Borderline Dangerous’  (emphasis mine):

Erwin said he was “blown away” by the fact that critics seemed to go after stay-at-home moms by claiming that the movie, which simply portrays their lifestyle, is “anti-feminist.”

“I think we all want to live in a country where no one’s bullied for their way of life and that should extend to moms,” he told TheBlaze. “Every woman should be free to choose her way of life … and I think this word ‘tolerance’ should be enforced in this regard.”

Erwin clarified that Mom’s Night Out went out of its way not to make any judgment about the decisions of mothers, including women who choose to be single mothers:

“If at any point in the movie the stay-at-home mom [and protagonist], Allyson, said, ‘This is how you should live life,’ then there would be grounds for some of this stuff. But that’s not in the movie,” Erwin added. “And the movie features a single mom, a full-time working mom — and they support and encourage people throughout the film.”

Erwin reiterated the importance of not restricting women’s choices:

“The message that I would deliver to critics is that I think we should embrace the ideal that every woman is free to choose whatever life she feels like she wants to live,” he said. “And that we believe in a world where no one should be bullied for their way of life and that should extend to stay-at-home moms and it’s obviously not right now.”

Normally conservative Christians don’t come right out and say they support women choosing to become single mothers.  Normally conservative Christians instead ignore the sins of single mothers and focus on blaming men for the fact that single mothers don’t want to be married.

If only men would man up, women wouldn’t want to be single mothers.

We see this sentiment from conservative Christians all the time.   Glenn Stanton, the Director of Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family (FotF), explains:

Women want to marry and have daddies for their babies.  But if they can’t find good men to commit themselves to, well…  Our most pressing social problem today is a man deficit.

Pastor Mark Driscoll explained the same thing:

The latest statistics, 40 percent of all children are born out of wedlock. It is now at the point where women aren’t even pretending they’re gonna ever get married. They go to college, get a good job, get pregnant, have a kid. They’ve lost any hope of ever finding a guy who can actually carry the load, and that’s tragic. We’re a culture that is working hard to protect women and children, and no one has the common sense to beat on the guys who are the cause of so much of the pain.

There is a variation of this same message from Honor Your Father Today:

In a society where fatherlessness (or at least dads who aren’t stepping up to the plate) runs rampant, one thought must race through the minds of so many men and women out there: “How do you honor someone who isn’t honorable?”

Many of the programs listed on the Honor Your Father Today resource page are founded on similar statements.  Father School explains the premise of their program (emphasis mine):

Father School was originally established by Duranno in October, 1995, in Seoul, South Korea, in response to the growing national epidemic of abusive, ineffective and absentee fathers. Father School was founded on the premise that when the father stands firmly as the head of the household, society will too stand firm, ultimately making the world a better place.

UNCOMMEN explains:

UNCOMMEN exists to encourage men to be better Leaders, Husbands and Dads by equipping individuals and organizations with inspiring and educational resources. Our vision is to help men succeed at being the man they were always meant to be…

When men win, we don’t have to build as many shelters for abandoned families, or pay the psychological and emotional toll for fatherless kids, or care for so many abused and neglected wives.

If we’re going to solve societal ills…

Legacy Minded Men states (emphasis original):

The greatest challenge this country, and yes the world, faces is not unemployment, the environment, drugs, violence, teen pregnancy, government corruption or even terrorism. The greatest challenge we face are men who have abdicated their role as leaders, husbands and fathers. Legacy Minded Men exists to bring this truth to light AND provide the tools to reverse this trend.

Clearly there is wide agreement that if men would only man up, the feminist assault on the family would be reversed.  But how can men man up without offending the very feminists assaulting the family?  Since biblical patriarchy and headship are out of the question, conservative Christians were forced to invent an entirely new “Christian” seeming ritual. This ritual is what conservative Christians are talking about when they say Man Up! or Step Up!

What is the “Man Up” ritual, and how do your perform it?

The Man Up ritual consists of equal parts hair shirt and chest thumping.  The hair shirt comes first, and it consists of finding the flaws in men that are causing women to sin.  While the headlines often misdirect with claims of abuse or men impregnating innocent women and refusing to marry them, the real focus is on carefully cataloging the most minor sins of the best married Christian fathers.  In fact, the more petty the accusation, and the more godly the father being accused, the better!  This change in focus is critical because it is almost exclusively the responsible married Christian fathers who are performing the ritual.

For an example of the hair shirt part of the ritual in practice, see the Focus on the Family review of the movie Courageous:

That’s the life lesson Adam Mitchell, an Albany, Ga., deputy sheriff, learns in Courageous, Sherwood Pictures’ follow-up to Fireproof. Adam is someone many fathers will identify with. He wears his uniform with pride. He provides for his wife, Victoria, and his two children. And because of that he figures he’s not actually required to join his teenage son, Dylan, in a 5K father-son race. And even though 9-year-old Emily is the apple of his eye, he’s quite positive that he’s too dignified (read: embarrassed) to dance with her in a parking lot just because she begs. “I’m dancing with you in my heart, honey,” he explains.

Adam’s sins in the movie are:

  1. Not dancing with his young daughter in a parking lot.
  2. Asking his son to help build a shed, when the son would rather run with his father.

Note that the FotF reviewer agrees with the message of the movie.  Adam needs a stern wakeup call so he is properly motivated to wear the uniform of the married Christian father, the hair shirt.  Without spoiling the movie, I can assure you that Adam receives the harshest wakeup call imaginable, and proceeds to wear the hairiest hair shirt he can find.  From there Adam joins with other hair shirted fathers, and their wives instruct them in the proper way to thump their chests.  It is a truly glorious message (if you are a conservative Christian).

What is the proper method of chest thumping?

There is no single right way to chest thump, so long as it is hyper masculine while being non offensive to feminists.  For this reason, actual headship is out, but borrowing from images in secular culture is in.  Military/combat and sports metaphors are probably the most popular.  For example, the featured program by Legacy Minded Men is a football based program called Move the Chains:

What would the world look like if men were REAL men? What difference would it make in your home, community, workplace or church? It’s Time to MOVE THE CHAINS!

2-time Super Bowl champion Lee Rouson, Legacy Minded Men founder Joe Pellegrino and Certified Life Coach Juan Garcia provide the men with powerful and fun tools to answer this important question wrapped in a football metaphor.

The program even has a football themed chant to ground men’s ministries (emphasis mine):

“Our Move the Chains Workshop had over 60 men in attendance. Lee’s chant of “Go, Go, Get it, Get it” fired us up and laid down the ground work for our men’s ministry to begin understanding how God desires us to become better husbands, fathers and men of honor!” – Pastor Eric Butler, True Vine Christian Church

Be aware that at times it can be very difficult to distinguish between the hair shirt and the chest thumping.  For example, making a public resolution to be a better husband and father serves the function of both the hair shirt (he’s not good enough) and a chest thump (this is what a real man looks like).

What to do when the ritual doesn’t work?

Since the whole point of the exercise is to avoid confronting the feminist rebellion, the ritual doesn’t work.  But conservative Christians have faith.  Not in the Bible, but in the Man Up! ritual they have created.  They believe that if they only practice this ritual often enough and hard enough, all of the problems in our post feminist culture will go away.  Feminists have faith that feminism isn’t working because real feminism hasn’t been tried yet.  Conservative Christians have faith that feminism isn’t working because weak men are screwing feminism up.

hyf_app_manupWhen the ritual fails (as it is bound to do), this is proof that the men aren’t manning up hard enough.  They must seek out even hairier hair shirts, and thump their chests even louder.  If they do this often enough, hard enough, and publicly enough, they are certain it will work. Conservative Christians turn up the volume on their calls for men to Man Up!, and married fathers answer the call by completing more and more man up programs, hoping that this time they will get the ritual right and make the world safe for feminism.  This naturally has created a multitude of Man Up! programs, books, and DVDS.  There are even Man Up! apps* for your phone.

I’ll close by noting that there is a certain twisted logic to the Man Up ritual. Feminists have flooded the world with irresponsible unfeminine women.  Conservative Christians are countering by attempting to flood the world with hyper-responsible cartoonishly masculine men.

See Also:

*Available here, here, and here.

Posted in Cartoonish Chivalry, Christian Films, Complementarian, Courageous, Denial, Disrespecting Respectability, Fatherhood, Feminists, Focus on the Family, Glenn Stanton, Honor Your Father Today, Mark Driscoll, Mom's Night Out, Rebellion, The only real man in the room, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Weak men screwing feminism up | 147 Comments

So common no one notices.

Several commenters have noted that their pastor doesn’t give anti-father sermons on Father’s Day*.  I don’t doubt this, as the church I attend doesn’t do this either.  But the anti-father sermon on a day reserved to honor fathers is just one of the more visible symptoms of the problem.  Other symptoms are more universal but harder spot precisely because they are so common they feel normal.

Christian films are a better way to see how universal the attitude is. Because the Christian movie market is a niche market, the films are carefully designed to have a message that appeals to a wide Christian audience, including Protestants and Catholics*.  Also, Christians have a trade off when they view movies.  They can watch a secular movie and get the best production qualities at the cost of a message they disagree with, or they can watch a Christian movie with a message they agree with at the cost of lower production qualities.

Christian movies are all about the message, and anti-married-father messages are extremely common in Christian movies.  What is often telling is the startled reaction secular reviewers have to the anti-father message in well loved Christian movies.  Mom’s Night Out was loved by Christians as just another good Christian movie about the family.  But the feminists at Dame were appalled by the anti-married-father message in Mom’s Night Out.

‘Moms’ Night Out’ may be a Christian movie, but it’s part of a long cinematic tradition portraying men as useless louts. And that’s not good for anyone.

As the Dame review noted, Mom’s Night Out was just a Christian retread of the common fathers-as-buffoons theme we see in secular entertainment.  But Christian films often have a much darker anti-father message than secular entertainment.  The widely popular Kendrick brother** movies are the obvious example of this darker message, with War Room being their most recent.  In War Room the married father is portrayed not as a hapless idiot, but as a truly vile man, devoid of any positive qualities at all.  As the reviewer from observed:

The film’s centerpiece sequence occurs early on, as Elizabeth sits weeping in her closet while pleading, “God, help him love me again.” This moment is heartbreaking for all the wrong reasons. Since the Kendricks have mistaken one-dimensional caricatures for people who exist in the real world, they forgot to provide Tony with any redeeming qualities that would make us want to root for his marriage.

Neither of these movies caused controversy for their anti-father messages in conservative Christian circles, because they are simply “normal” Christian movies with a message that Christians love.

But the best example of all with relation to conservative Christians tearing fathers down on Father’s Day is the Kendrick brother movie Courageous.  In the first few years after it was released the movie itself and its accompanying resolution were widely touted as excellent Father’s Day gifts.  The message of Courageous is that married Christian fathers who seem like they have it together are actually terrible failures as fathers, and need to sign a pledge to man up. The movie is, as the description of The Resolution for Men explains, “an emotionally charged wake-up call to fathers”.

In order for Courageous to motivate good fathers to man up, it must first tear good fathers down.  This leads to a disturbing scene where the protagonists sit around a backyard barbecue complaining about their fathers.  For those who haven’t seen the movie, note that this isn’t something the characters are shown as having to repent of later in the movie.  On the contrary, it is the movie makers speaking in a very clunky way through their characters, and by doing so modeling how good Christians should speak of their own fathers.  Most astonishing is the fact that this scene (and the message of the movie) didn’t create a controversy in Christian circles.

From the movie script at Springfield Springfield:

I wonder where all the good fathers went.
Ain’t that the truth?
What? I remember you talking about your dad.
Wasn’t he an usher at your church?
Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything.
Soon as the church service started, he’d step out back for a smoke.
You know, one time he says to me, “I better not catch you drinking. ”
Had a beer in his hand when he said it.
My mom used to nag him.
That is, till they got divorced.
Look, it’s not like I don’t love the guy, but it’s hard to respect a hypocrite.
What about you, David?
I had a good dad.
I guess.
I mean, the guy wasn’t perfect.
My parents split after he had an affair.
But I think he regretted it.

This movie, and it’s accompanying pledge to be a better father, was seen by conservative Christians as an excellent gift to give fathers on Father’s Day.  This movie that tears good father’s down, is seen in conservative Christian circles as a way to honor fathers!  In fact, Courageous, it’s resolution ceremony, and the other movies I referenced in this post are all offered as resources to honor fathers by Honor Your Father Today.

*Based on feedback from Catholic readers the anti-father Father’s Day sermon is either uncommon in Catholic churches or doesn’t occur at all.  However, the movie Courageous was supported by at least 10 Catholic organizations.  You can see Catholic reviews of the movie here, here, and here.  You can see a discussion on Catholic Answers Forum here.  You can also see Catholic reviews of Moms Night Out here, here, here, and here.  You can see Catholic reviews of War Room here, here and here, and a discussion of the movie on Catholic Answers Forum.

**Stephen Kendrick is featured in my post A radical Father’s Day proposal where he urges fellow Christians to honor their fathers.  His brother Alex plays the role of the pastor in Mom’s Night Out.

Posted in Attacking headship, Catholic Answers Forum, Christian Films, Courageous, Disrespecting Respectability, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Honor Your Father Today, Kendrick Brothers, Mom's Night Out, Traditional Conservatives, War Room | 43 Comments

Man up and honor your father.

This is the fourth post in a series on the program Honor Your Father Today.  If you want to read the first three posts, you can do so here:

  1. A radical Father’s Day Proposal.
  2. Don’t refer to God as the Father, call him a “Best Friend”.
  3. Ideas on how to honor your father on social media for Father’s Day.

Honoring fathers means honoring men, and the idea of honoring men, even fathers on Father’s Day, is as uncomfortable to conservative Christians as the idea of french kissing your sister.

What conservative Christians would far rather do than honor men is do what they always do;  blame men for the sins of women and issue men an endless series of challenges to man up.  This is cowardly and easy, but feels heroic.  Yet this is a campaign to encourage people to honor their fathers on Father’s Day, and the campaign is in response to Scripture.  Given the choice of doing what is cowardly, easy, and feels good or doing what God has commanded, what did the men of Honor Your Father Today choose?  Did they man up?  For the most part they did not.  For the most part, they chose the easy, feel good, cowardly way out.  If you look at the page they use to turn their proposal into concrete action, you will see that aside from talking about how terrible fathers are and promoting the program in general, nearly all of the focus is on challenging men to man up.  Along with many similar resources, they suggest honoring fathers by sending them to Dennis Rainey/FamilyLife’s Stepping Up®, and a program called Father School:

Father School was originally established by Duranno in October, 1995, in Seoul, South Korea, in response to the growing national epidemic of abusive, ineffective and absentee fathers.

They also suggest honoring the fathers in the congregation by having them pledge to be better fathers via the Resolution Ceremony from the movie Courageous:

Set a date for this event at your church. Promote it, prepare for it by leading a study of The Resolution for Men and then make it happen!

Most people give their father a Hallmark™ card on Father’s Day;  conservative Christians celebrate Father’s Day by telling their dad to promise to be a better dad.

Maybe next year Dad!

But the most creative solution to this dilemma comes in the Three Point Challenge for Churches.  In the three point challenge they take the general command to all believers to honor their fathers and change the focus to telling fathers to step up, and…  honor their fathers!   The pastor’s guide opens with:


This is a request for you to prayerfully consider participating in the Honor Your Father 3-Point Church Challenge. Below is an overview of the initiative. Attached is a specific challenge to be issued to each man as well as an outline to reference for a Father’s Day sermon.

Honor Your Father is a nationwide campaign coordinated by the Fatherhood CoMission, a coalition of fathering initiatives across the country working to raise the bar for dads to be engaged in family. Visit to learn more about the campaign and view video testimonies from Tony Dungy, Kirk Cameron, Darryl Strawberry and others.

Below is the 3-Point Church Challenge aligned with the Honor Your Father campaign. Please prayerfully consider issuing a call (specifics attached) for each man in the church to:

Points one and two of the three point challenge to the fathers are:

  1. Meet with their father.
  2. Write their father a letter.

Point three of the three point Father’s Day challenge to fathers doesn’t even involve the fathers honoring their fathers.  It is yet another pledge by the fathers to become better fathers:

Commit to grow as a father – be a study of the Father and of fathering. Seek out resources and training opportunities that will encourage & equip you as a father. Commit to completing one study for dads across the summer. One easy and accessible option is the Dads Becoming Heroes study that can be completed on your own or in a small group.
This study can be downloaded as a .pdf file from
Take the initiative to Honor Your Father through intentional study to become the father God calls you to be, the father the next generation needs.

  • Take a picture of you doing the study on your own, with a buddy or in a group;
  • Record a short video testimony of how the study impacted you; and
  • Record a short video with testimony from your family on how the study influenced your fathering from their perspective.

Accept this challenge to Honor Your Father and begin a journey that will be challenging and affirming, convicting and encouraging. In the process, you will be equipped and strengthened to become the father you are called to be, the father the next generation needs.
Prayers are with you on the journey,

While the letter to the Pastor says the program is for all men in the church, the accompanying sermon outline says the program is for the fathers in the congregation:

As you know, a number of weeks ago we initiated an Honor Your Father challenge to dads.  The emotions around the topic of our dads run the spectra from elation, “I really appreciate being issued this challenge while my dad is alive”, to frustration, “Are you kidding me? My dad was abusive. I have not spoken to him in years and I don’t see any reason to honor him!” Actually there is a very important reason to honor our father and mother, it is the fifth commandment. Exodus 20:12 does not say, “If” your father and mother are honorable then honor them…

Either way this is brilliant, albeit incredibly cynical.  It carefully minimizes the number of men in the congregation who are at risk of being honored on Father’s Day (yuk!), tells the men of the congregation to man up, and doesn’t ask anything of the women in the congregation.  At the same time, it reinforces the same message given by the Father’s Day sermons and the Father’s Day social media post suggestions;  fathers don’t deserve to be honored.

Posted in Complementarian, Courageous, Disrespecting Respectability, FamilyLife, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Honor Your Father Today, Miserliness, Stepping Up®, Traditional Conservatives | 56 Comments

Ideas on how to honor your father on social media for Father’s Day.

Honor Your Father Today offers suggested social media posts to promote the campaign and honor fathers for Father’s Day.  Here are the first 12 suggestions:

Now is the time… Honor Your Father Today. Learn how at

“How do you honor someone who isn’t honorable?” Go to to learn how

“A wound will only become infected if it is left untreated.” -Matt Haviland, The Daddy Gap – Go to to learn to heal wounds with your parents.

“How honoring a not so honorable Dad can change him and your relationship with him” Learn more at

“My dad was never around. My dad died many years ago. My dad doesn’t deserve to be honored.” If any of these statements fit you go to for insights on how to move on.

“My dad was the meanest man I know. I have nothing good to say”- It that describes you, go to

“Want to help your church, pastor to do something a little different this fathers day? Go to to learn how to plan a special service and access free resources.

Tried everything to make amends with your dad but failed? Here’s an uncommon approach that may turn his heart to you and yours back to him.

Don’t know how to help a spouse who is struggling with their relationship with their dad? There’s help at

Have you thought about saying something that you need to say to your dad before it’s too late? Go to to learn what to do, what not to do.

Feel you are alone in not knowing how to feel or treat your dad who has hurt you deeply? Go to for help.

For Christians, we are often called to do something (obey) because God said do it. But what about honoring a dad that don’t deserve it? Get insight and help at

Can you feel the love?  No one celebrates Father’s Day like Christians do!

Following this litany of father trashing there are a few suggestions to make a video for your father, write him a letter, or pray for him.  Then the suggestions close with a grand finale of father bashing:

Daddy wounds run deep. Learn how to heal them @

Want to break the cycle of Father wounds? Learn how

Listen to Dr. John Trent author of book The Blessing discuss how he honored a dad who chose to not be in his life

Want free resources your church can use to really bless Fathers this Father’s Day? Go to

Research shows that Fathers are key to healthy child development. Learn how to encourage Dads to be connected Dads @

20.3 million Children (27%) live in a home with no father. Let’s turn that around. Go to

Children growing up without a father present are more likely to suffer physical, emotional or educational neglect, engage in juvenile delinquency including violent crime, abuse drugs and alcohol, be a teenage mom and live in poverty. (* Get more promo tools, images at

Posted in Complementarian, Disrespecting Respectability, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Honor Your Father Today, Miserliness, Traditional Conservatives, Weak men screwing feminism up | 55 Comments

Don’t refer to God as the Father, call him a “Best Friend”.

In A radical Father’s Day proposal I introduced Honor Your Father Today, a group that is proposing that Christians honor their fathers on Father’s Day.  Yet even though they propose honoring fathers, they are clearly conflicted about the idea.  They explain that a sudden and mysterious change in fathers (and not feminist rebellion) is the reason we have an epidemic of broken homes:

In a society where fatherlessness (or at least dads who aren’t stepping up to the plate) runs rampant, one thought must race through the minds of so many men and women out there: “How do you honor someone who isn’t honorable?”

Given this attitude it isn’t surprising that Honor Your Father Today struggles greatly to think of ways that Christians could actually honor their fathers.  The foreignness of honoring fathers comes out most clearly on their resources page:

Use these resources as a tool to help honor fathers and help with our campaign.

I’ll go through other items on the resource page in the next few days, but today I will focus on the example sermons they offer, and primarily on the 2016 Honor Your Father Sermon.  The sermon offers three different impressions Christians might have of fathers:

We each have personal images intricately tied to the tender yet powerful word, “father.” For some, the visualization of “father” is an always-smiling, ready-to-embrace-you, tender man who instantly promotes feelings of joy and acceptance. Others remember the massive, outstretched hand that seemed to pull a never-ending supply of candy from his trouser pockets. There are also those who hear the word, “father,” and conjure up images of a scowling, rumpled brow, and disappointed frown that seemed to cut the heart of a child, desperately longing for expressions of his approval. Finally, there are others who may simply draw a blank when they try to visualize a father. As empty as a fresh pack of computer paper, no matter how many pages they turn, the landscape is full of empty memories. No calls, no visits, no talks with dad.

Note that this boils down to:

  1. Good fathers, who are a never ending supply of positive affirmation, hugs and candy.
  2. Bad fathers, who hurt their children by being mean.
  3. Absent fathers.

It gets worse later in the sermon, where it explains that because we have an epidemic of bad fathers, we should (at times) avoid calling God the Father, and instead think of him as a best friend:

It’s so sad the number of people who have an unhealthy fear of their father. It has a negative impact on their lives and especially on their attitude toward God. They have a skewed image of God as only a wrathful, angry, hostile God. Their God is a person they want to avoid, and that’s not accurate. He loves us.

A young woman taught Sunday school in an inner-city mission project. “In the projects,” she says, “when you talk to the kids, you never refer to God as father. With these inner-city kids, ‘father’ is likely to bring up thoughts of the man who left me, the man who beats me, who beats my mother. The kids have so many negative images of fathers. So we always refer to God as a best friend. The kids know what that is. It’s a positive concept. We start there and work into God’s other attributes.”

What About You?

Maybe you had a horrible father. That may well affect your relationship with God. It may be wise for you to think first of God as a best friend. Approach Him as a best friend…

This is a sermon offered as a way to honor fathers on Father’s Day, and it explains that since fathers are so dishonorable we should avoid calling God the Father!

They offer a second sermon on the resources page, simply titled the Honor Your Father Sermon.  This sermon isn’t quite as bad as the first sermon, but it still focuses a great deal on how terrible fathers are, and blames the feminist rebellion in the church on abusive and neglectful fathers:

…consider the women’s ministry leader who is vengeful toward any male authority figure who questions her leadership. The connection between such resentment could relate to the tragedy of childhood neglect or abuse of some kind.

Posted in Complementarian, Disrespecting Respectability, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Honor Your Father Today, Traditional Conservatives, You can't make this stuff up | 49 Comments