Is fear of women the beginning of wisdom?

Christian Economist Dr. Robert P. Murphy explains in An Essay for Single Christian Men* that although what most call red pill** observations are on the whole accurate, knowledge of the truth is highly dangerous.  While Dr. Murphy and I no doubt agree that learning from pickup artists carries the risk that a man will lose his fear of God and follow the pickup artist into sexual immorality, Murphy’s primary concern is that Christian men will damn themselves by losing their fear (or if you prefer reverence) of women:

The reason lonely young men end up delving into the ranks of the pickup artists–either from “professionals” or just in their own peer groups by hanging out with guys who are “good with girls”–is that they have eyes. They can see quite clearly that sending flowers to a crush does absolutely nothing while other guys are known as notorious cheaters and have girls randomly showing up at their apartments.

But since I’m directing this essay at you, a Christian, I can tell you frankly that these techniques and advice are literally FROM THE DEVIL. Yes, it is true that if you can actually train yourself to look at women (except your mom and sisters, of course) as less than human, so that you are no longer afraid of their opinion of you, then your long career of striking out will be over. You will go from being terrified of beautiful women to knowing how to spot the ones that are incredibly insecure, who spend hours getting ready because they think they need to in order to deserve attention from men. You will laugh at your old self, who somehow was intimidated by a half-naked 115 pound creature in heels. What was your problem?!

It is the pedestal, not sexual morality, that Murphy most fears will be lost if Christian men learn the truth about women’s sexual nature.

Murphy is far from alone in his pronounced reverence for women.  Worshiping women is extremely common in modern Christianity, so much so that it isn’t seen as odd or noteworthy. Moreover, the modern Christian “improvement” on biblical marriage is the introduction of the wakeup call to make husbands fear their wives.

Fearing women, however, is not something that the Bible teaches.  Christians are to fear God, and wives are to fear their husbands.  As every Christian feminist’s favorite verse in Ephesians 5 explains, Christians in general are to submit to one another in fear (also translated as reverence) of God:

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

A bit later, in Ephesians 5:33, Paul explains that a wife is to fear (also translated as reverence) her husband (ISV):

33 But each individual man among you must love his wife as he loves himself; and may the wife fear her husband.

Interestingly in some translations fear is used in verse 21 while reverence is used in verse 33***, as is the case with the King James version:

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

…33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Other times we see it the other way around as is the case with the International Standard Version:

21 and you will submit to one another out of reverence for the Messiah.

…33 But each individual man among you must love his wife as he loves himself; and may the wife fear her husband.

This is not to say that Christian wives are to worship their husbands as Christian men today so often worship women, but clearly there is a healthy reverence wives are instructed to have for their husbands in line with headship and submission.  Yet again, we see that modern Christians have come up with a crossdressing theology by inverting the proper relationship between husband and wife****.


*H/T The Question.
**I prefer a different movie metaphor.
***The reason we see alternate translations (fear vs reverence) for both verses is that while the original Greek words for fear/reverence are not identical between the two verses, both words can be translated either way.  The word used in Eph 5:21 is phobos (Strongs 5401).  The word in Eph 5:33 is phobeó (Strongs 5399).
****Since the fear Dr. Murphy is afraid Christian men will lose is romantic/sexual in nature, and he isn’t proposing that the fear should be lost after marriage, this is very much about marriage.

Posted in Beautiful truth, Dr. Robert P. Murphy, Game, Theological Crossdressing, Threatpoint, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Wake-up call, Wife worship | 160 Comments

Selling grey divorce (everyone’s doing it).

Earlier this week Vox Day quoted from a recent Daily Mail article:

According to the Office of National Statistics, the number of ‘silver divorces’ has risen by three-quarters in the past 20 years, while the divorce rate among the rest of the population has fallen.

As well as fractured relationships and infidelity, the rise in late-life divorce is also fueled by women fed up with old-before-their-time husbands and a lack of excitement.

Few of these women anticipate that their silver divorce will cost them all the home comforts and financial security they once took for granted.

Dominik Lipnicki, a housing expert for Your Mortgage Decisions, believes this boom in divorce and the financial instability it can cause is a huge problem for older women.

There is quite a bit packed in this quote, especially since the Daily Mail is using their standard tactic of trolling their readers.  In this case the trolling consists of whispering that it’s time for older married women to ditch their boring loyal dudes, while simultaneously framing late life divorcées as victims whose cash and prizes run out far too soon.  What gets lost in the trolling however is the fact that the Mail and other papers are selling a great misconception;  there simply is no “boom” in divorce as couples get older.  It is true that divorce rates have been rising in the UK for women over 50*:


However, divorce rates for older age brackets are very small in comparison with younger brackets.  In fact, divorce rates decrease dramatically as women age.  Here is what it looks like in the US:


The UK has a very similar pattern, with the exception of women under 25**.  Here is a time series animation I put together using the latest ONS data going back thirty five years:


The great misconception you will find in all pieces on late life divorce is a sense that as a generation ages through or past middle age there is a time when their rate of divorce suddenly “booms” or “explodes”.  This is the opposite of reality, but newspapers have a strong incentive to give the sense that “everyone is doing it” to both sell feminist divorce empowerment and to sell copy.

If you break the UK data down by cohort you can see that for the last thirty five years around age 27 a woman’s tendency to divorce starts falling and continues to fall;  It falls so quickly as she ages that by the time she passes sixty her likelyhood of divorcing in any given year drops to around 1.5 per 1,000.  The chart below presents data for all four birth cohorts of Baby Boomers (B), along with two cohorts of Silents (S) before them and Gen Xers (X) after them.  This tracks each cohort from their early twenties through their late 50s***:


To understand the data represented in the chart above, it might help to see it in table form.  Also, keep in mind that the chart above actually understates the way that divorce risk reduces as women age because:

  1. The older the age bracket we are looking at, the higher the proportion of second, third, etc marriages in the mix.  Remarriages have far higher rates of divorce than first marriages, so this skews the data to make it look like late life divorce is higher (relatively) than it really is.
  2. The curves only show data through the late 50s***, because after a woman turns 60 the ONS stops breaking divorce rates out in five year brackets.  Divorce rates after 60 are so low (around 1.5 per 1,000 married women per year) that it doesn’t make sense to try to measure it separately for each over 60 bracket.


*The data is from the ONS page here.  The most recent data file is for 2013 (tab 3b).  Note that for 1981 the data isn’t broken out for the 50-54 and 55-59 age brackets, so I used the averages for the years immediately prior and after 1981 to fill in the gap.

**I won’t speculate on the reason US and UK divorce patterns are different for the under 25 age brackets since this is a post on late(r) life divorce.

***Except for the younger cohorts where there isn’t yet data for the older age brackets.

Posted in Aging Feminists, Daily Mail, Data, Divorce, Grey Divorce, Marriage, selling divorce, Troll | 52 Comments

Why can’t he find men to marry the women he is teaching to have contempt for men?

The “Friendly Atheist” at Patheos has a new post going viral titled Christian Pastor Says Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Possessed by a “Retarded Spirit”

Pastor Gene Lingerfelt goes off on men who play Xbox, blaming “that retarded spirit” for why beautiful young women in the church can’t find dates.

The post links to a video which appears to have been deleted, but the post contains a still and excerpts from the original video.

And don’t even get me started on the Xbox. And all of that. If you have callouses on your thumbs, you’re a loser. If you’re more than 18 years old and you’re still jackin’ around with that stuff… [does “L” gesture].

I curse that spirit in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

There are young gals in this church. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful young gals, and you know why they can’t get a date? ‘Cause that retarded spirit got onto young men.

This is all crowd pleasing stuff for modern Christians, and calling other men retarded and losers is how a pastor can set himself up as the only real man in the room.  Very few conservative Christians would have objected to the parts of the video transcribed in the post, but the Friendly Atheist found it shocking.

I recently covered the social changes driving the delay in marriage, so I won’t rehash that here.  Aside from the larger social changes I can offer another reason non retarded young Christian men might not be lining up to marry the women in Pastor Lingerfelt’s congregation;  wise men don’t want to marry a rebellious woman.  Not only are the women in Pastor Lingerfelt’s congregation receiving a constant barrage of feminist messages from the culture telling them they are better than men and encouraging them to to rebel against headship, they receive the same corrosive messages from Pastor Lingerfelt himself:

Some of you women, you have my permission — blame me. He come home — I’m talking about your husband come home, and that’s gone. And don’t just throw it in the trash — he’ll go fish it out — you gotta put in the bathtub full of water before you throw it in the trash. Now don’t do that while it’s plugged in… [Laughter]

Posted in Attacking headship, Pastor Gene Lingerfelt, Rebellion, The only real man in the room, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Weak men screwing feminism up | 179 Comments

Red Herring

In 5 Key Ways to Cultivating Biblical Manhood in Your Church Dr. Allen writes:

Fifth, as preachers, we must intentionally enlist, equip, and empower men into leadership roles in our churches. Biblically, theologically, and logically, the indispensable ingredient to complementarianism is biblical manhood. One of the recurring arguments that undermines male leadership in the church is the absence of biblically-qualified male leaders. Let us determine to make the red herring, “What if there is no man to lead or preach?” an extinct species.

This is an interesting statement, because while he calls the argument a red herring, he doesn’t dispute it.  In fact, his solution (training more men) suggests that the argument is in fact true*.

This leaves two possibilities.  The first (and I believe most charitable) is my assertion from my last post that he is making a similar case regarding church leadership that complementarians make about the military;  women are being forced to fill a leadership vacuum in the church because there aren’t enough qualified men willing to lead.  This claim is of course absurd, but as I wrote I think this is the more charitable reading of his statement.

A less charitable interpretation would be to assume that he understands that the real problem is that women are in full rebellion and are using claims of men not being available to lead as a cynical smokescreen for their rebellion.  This is less charitable because given his insistence that the answer to the problem is not to tell women no, this would mean that he knows what the real problem is but is too fearful to do what is right.  The reason for his refusal to act against the rebellion could be fear of the wrath of the women who are rebelling, or fear of acknowledging a key lie underpinning complementarianism.  It could also be a combination of fear of backlash from rebellious women and a fear of backlash from other complementarian men.

At any rate, what is without question is that Dr. Allen is focusing his attention on other men’s leadership failures (men who unlike him aren’t even in leadership) while allowing a very open rebellion from women in his own organization.  The article his seminary published in January, The Problem With Our Complementarianism, is without question the most unabashedly feminist complementarian piece I have read to date;  I was surprised to see a complementarian seminary publish something so overtly hostile to men in leadership.  The article is indefensible, and that it not only was published but has not been retracted tells us a great deal about the status quo of his seminary.  That this rebellion is going on unchecked in his own backyard is striking in and of itself, but it is all the more astounding given his very public complaints that there aren’t enough men in leadership.

*Labeling an argument a red herring only means that the argument isn’t relevant.  In this case, he appears to be arguing that women really are feeling forced to take over leadership roles due to a lack of qualified men, yet the lack of qualified men doesn’t change the fact that only men should hold those positions.

Posted in Complementarian, Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Dr. Jason K. Allen, Midwestern Seminary, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Ugly Feminists, Weak men screwing feminism up | 71 Comments

Where have all the good chimps gone?

…complementarity is not fundamentally about what opportunities women must forgo, but what responsibilities men must take up.

— Dr. Jason K. Allen, President of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary

In Don’t tell women no I quoted Dr. Jason Allen at the CBMW explaining that our problem today is a lack of male leadership:

Rosin has a point, and it is an alarming one. While we recognize the challenges such statistics indicate for a society, as Christians our primary concern is not the country or the culture—it is the home and the church. If the latter are healthy, the former will be healthier.

Many churches are bereft of male leadership, and many congregations exist in a settled fog over what biblical manhood should look like.

Back in March I highlighted the Midwestern Seminary article by Lore Ferguson Wilbert complaining in The Problem With Our Complementarianism that church leaders are “maddeningly male”:

In the 35 years or so since then, liberal churches grew more liberal and the conservative—heaven help us. McQuinn uses the term androcentrism to describe the shift in neo-reformed environments in particular. It means being dominated by or emphasizing masculine interests or a masculine point of view. It wasn’t that the theology was all wrong, it was that the voices of church leaders were maddeningly male, through the male perspective, with male interests paramount, and evaluated by males.

Imagine with me for a moment a room of chimps all chimping about how to be a better room of chimps and pandas.

However, until today I didn’t realize the full connection between the two:


While Dr. Allen is making his name as a complementarian complaining that the church lacks male voices because men (for some mysterious reason) aren’t stepping up and leading, the seminary he is president of is publishing feminist articles on how to improve complementarian churches by replacing male leaders with female leaders.


This is the same fantasy land template complementarians use when it comes to women in the military.  They pretend that women aren’t really coveting and forcing their way into men’s roles;  instead, they claim that men are forcing women to usurp men’s roles by being unwilling to lead (or fight).  The real lack of leadership of course is complementarian men like Dr. Allen being unwilling to say no to rebellious women.  Leading by example (saying no to women) is difficult and feels bad, while telling other men the problem is their fault is easy and feels heroic.

The connections between the CBMW and Midwestern don’t end with Dr. Allen.  CBMW President Owen Strachan is a professor at the seminary:

Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary President Jason Allen announced that Owen Strachan will join the institution’s faculty on July 1, as associate professor of Christian Theology and as director of a forthcoming center for theology and culture.

This also can’t be a case where the leadership simply isn’t aware of the feminists running amok lower down in their organization.  President Strachan has clearly gotten the message Wilbert and her complementarian feminist allies are sending, and he is eager to assure them that he has heard them and the CBMW is working diligently to promote diversity and inclusion.

Strachan offers four reasons readers should attend the 2016 CBMW T4G pre-conference.  Reason number one is that the conference features both men and women, and they will focus on the “absolute iron-clad” need for more women teaching in the church:

1. You will see a group of men and women who stand on truth. The speakers at the CBMW T4G pre-conference are not ashamed of God and his Word. They have staked their lives on it. It can be dispiriting to live in a day and age when the Word of God is reviled, but at our sessions, you’ll be encouraged, edified, and trained by gospel proclamation that touches on every aspect of our lives. You’ll hear about many things, including some that we’ve identified as areas that we need to develop further: singleness, the sexualization of human identity, the fatherhood of God, the absolute iron-clad necessity of training women teachers in the church (see Titus 2!), and much more. We’ll cover the majors, in sum, but we’ll also cover less-discussed matters that we’ve heard people asking us to address.

Note the implicit claim that Titus 2 means that women must have formal teaching and leadership roles, despite the fact that the Scripture referenced focuses on informal teaching while the women in the CBMW are not only preachers in all but name but they teach the opposite of what Titus 2 says women should teach.  Once the CBMW founders convinced themselves that 1 Tim 2:11-15 doesn’t mean what Christians thought it meant for 2,000 years, the stage was set for women’s ministries to become mandatory;  Strachan wants to assure the feminist complementarians that he heard them and is working to reduce the number of chimps chimping.

Reason #2 is standard boiler plate complementarianism, and reason #3 is SJW boiler plate:

2. You will hear a joyful celebration of God’s design…

3. You will see a diverse movement that stretches all over the world…

The fourth and final reason Strachan offers is (again) that the conference will feature women:

4. You will be blessed by the voices of numerous women…

However, the conference isn’t only about women.  Dr. Allen will be giving a lecture about men titled:

Complementarity and the Disappearance of Men

Posted in Complementarian, Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Denial, Dr. Jason K. Allen, Envy, Feminist Territory Marking, Midwestern Seminary, Owen Strachan, Rebellion, Social Justice Warriors, The Real Feminists, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Ugly Feminists, Weak men screwing feminism up | 113 Comments