Vox Day has lead the creation of a fork of Wikipedia called Infogalactic.  Creating an alternative to the SJW converged Wikipedia is a massive undertaking, but starting with a fork is a great way to approach this.  For more information see Vox’s recent posts Project Big Fork: Infogalactic and Wikipedia: where information goes to die.

Edit:  I’ve placed a link to Infogalactic on the blogroll.

Posted in Infogalactic, Social Justice Warriors, Vox Day | 47 Comments

Deepwater Horizon is a pleasant surprise.

In our discussion back in 2014 of Mom’s Night Out, Cane Caldo astutely commented:

Our movies really hate married fathers. “Taken” is acceptable as a movie premise because Liam Neeson’s father character is divorced. “Homeland” is also fine because Jason Statham’s character doesn’t have a wife in the way while he sexily protects his daughter.

I have found this observation to be spot on, which is why I was so surprised that Deepwater Horizon doesn’t follow Hollywood’s rule on married fathers.  Mark Wahlberg’s character doesn’t go to his difficult and dangerous job knowing that he is failing as a husband and father.  He isn’t shown missing his daughter’s recital or presentation.  Nor do we learn that she resents him for being away from the family for long stretches of time due to his job.  On the contrary, his daughter loves him and looks up to him, and is proud of what he does to support the family.  Likewise, his wife is not unhappy, and does not provide the audience with a list of his shortcomings.

Secular movies are far better regarding married fathers than Christian movies are, but even for a secular movie this is vanishingly uncommon.  It is refreshing to see a movie which so thoroughly bucks the trend here.

Posted in Christian Films, Disrespecting Respectability, Fatherhood, Marriage | 76 Comments

Tempting wives to stay married.

In God hates divorce? Pastor Sam Powell worries that some readers may suspect he is soft on divorce:

This article is a little more technical than I usually write. There is a reason for it. I am fully aware that the views expressed here will leave me open to accusations of being “soft on divorce”. I assure you that is not the case. My only concern is to rightly discern God’s word and go where it leads.

But Powell should not worry that he will be accused of being soft on divorce, because this is clearly not the case.  Powell is a hardliner on divorce, a true believer, a zealot.  Powell believes so strongly in divorce that he says it is a sin to encourage unhappy wives to stay married with the hope that things will improve.  He explains in The Secret Things of God (emphasis mine):

When she reports that she is filing for divorce, the answer of her elders is often something like this: “God can change hearts. Stay in the marriage. What will you do if he repents? What if he changes?”

It seems to me that this puts an unendurable burden on the heart of the wife (or husband, as the case may be). The church is asking her to make a life-altering decision based upon what God may or may not do in the future. But how can we ask our sheep to sin in this regard?

I encourage my readers to read his full post;  Powell really is claiming that encouraging a wife to remain married is a sin. Powell’s biblical rationalization for his divorce zealotry is a bizarre comparison to Satan tempting Christ in the Gospels.  In Powell’s rationalization:

  • A wife who wants to divorce is like Christ.
  • A pastor or elder who encourages a wife to remain married is like Satan tempting Christ.
  • Remaining married is foolhardy and sinful, like jumping off of a tall building to test God.
  • Divorcing is an act of obedience to God.

His reasoning is that staying married with the hope that things will improve is a form of witchcraft:

But our text in Deuteronomy forbids doing just that. We cannot make our decision based upon the “secret things of God”. We are required only to make wise decisions based upon what we know today.

If encouraging Christians to stay married with hope that it will change the spouse is a sin, clearly the Apostle Paul sinned in 1 Cor 7:16:

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Moreover, in 1 Pet 3 wives are told to submit to their husbands with the hope that they might win them over.  Divorce is the polar opposite of submission:

3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Lastly, setting aside Powell’s abysmal theology, staying married really does tend to ultimately create happy marriages (emphasis mine).

Many currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness, often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals. Why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not? The marital endurance ethic appears to play a big role. Many spouses said that their marriages got happier, not because they and their partner resolved problems but because they stubbornly outlasted them. With time, they told us, many sources of conflict and distress eased. Spouses in this group also generally had a low opinion of the benefits of divorce, as well as friends and family members who supported the importance of staying married.

Posted in Beautiful truth, Church Apathy About Divorce, Divorce, New Morality, Pastor Sam Powell, Rebellion, selling divorce | 276 Comments

Do as you please with their wives, so long as you respect her in the morning.

It has been telling that Republican outrage over the audio of Trump describing his attempt to cuckold other men is almost entirely focused on the fact that Trump spoke crudely in describing the way women threw themselves at him.  Cuckoldry they don’t mind, but describing slutty women with disrespectful language is unacceptable!

Trump had claimed he pushed a married woman to have sex with him and said he could grab women “by the p****” because he was a celebrity. A recording of his conversation with then-”Access Hollywood” host Billy Bush was published by NBC News and The Washington Post on Friday.

“No woman should ever be described in these terms or talked about in this manner. Ever,” Priebus said in a statement released that night.

Posted in Cartoonish Chivalry, Disrespecting Respectability, Donald Trump, New Morality, The Real Feminists, Traditional Conservatives, You can't make this stuff up | 126 Comments

Reworking Malachi 2:16 for our feminist era (part 2).

In part one of this series I explained how Malachi 2:16 is being reworked from a condemnation of divorce theft to justification for divorce theft.  Thus Joel and Kathy Davisson have changed the meaning of “God hates divorce” to God hates men who can’t keep their wives happy (all emphasis in this post is mine):

Men, obey the Word: Quit dealing treacherously with your wives. Why? Because if you don’t, you are going to end up divorced and God hates divorce. We are not going to applaud you as a great man of God anymore if you cannot keep one little wife happy.

Treachery is expansively defined here to mean anything that displeases a wife.  A husband’s role in this new definition of Christian marriage is to follow the instruction of his wife on how to be married, since God has provided wives with all of the knowledge when it comes to marriage.  Joel and Kathy explain this in their book The Man of Her Dreams The Woman of His!

God has equipped every woman with a marriage manual in her heart, designed to instruct her husband in how to meet her unique needs.

It is very simple.  When your wife’s marriage manual points out that you have violated her in some way, your job is to hear her heart and accept what it is that your personal marriage manual is saying to you.  Your wife may not have a clue as to how to handle the household checkbook.  She may not have a clue as how to run a lawnmower.  What she does have is that unique marriage manual in her heart for your marriage which is given to her from God.  The way that a man becomes the man that God has called him to be is to become the husband his wife needs him to be.  The only way to become the husband our wife needs us to be is to read our personal marriage manual.  How do read that marriage manual?  We listen to her heart.

While Joel and Kathy are probably the most over the top in how they present this new view of Christian marriage, what they are teaching is the mainstream conservative Christian view of marriage.  I promised in the first post to include another example of this in part two, and the example I’ll share is from Pastor Sam Powell in his post God Hates Divorce, part two (see part one here).

Pastor Powell is a bit more circumspect, but he is selling the same message as Joel and Kathy.  If a wife is unhappy in her marriage, it is evidence that her husband is hateful and treacherous to her.  Powell explains that God created Adam and Eve to have a perfect marriage, but because men are sinful they hate their wives and treat them treacherously.  Powell claims that instead of hating divorce, God is saying men need to make their wives happy or they deserve to end up divorced:

…sin entered the world and men became treacherous, violating that harmony, hating their wives and oppressing them, rather than loving them. This should not be, especially among God’s people.

And now we get to verse 16 and see that it makes perfect sense. If you hate her that much, set her free! Be open with it. You put on one front but behind closed doors you are something else entirely. Clothe yourself with the violence that defines your life and set your wife free!

So is God condoning divorce? No. That isn’t really the point of the passage. The point is the last part of the verse:  “therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

…He hates lying and deceit. He hates the proud, treacherous heart. He hates the entitlement mentality that says “I am; and there is none like me!” God hates the hatred that a man has for his wife, causing him to rail at her, to oppress her, to take a mistress or another wife. He hates the disharmony that wicked men cause in their home.

If you insist on treating your wife like this, set her free. It will be the only decent thing you’ve ever done.

What would be far better, though, is if you took heed to your spirit and quit treating her this way. If you refuse to do that, don’t think that God doesn’t hear the voice of your wife pouring out her tears on the altar. God hears that, and will not allow those tears to go unanswered.

Why isn’t God hearing your prayers? Why doesn’t he accept your sacrifices? Because of how you treat your wife.

If you hate her that much, set her free.

Pastor Powell then anticipates the objection to his claim that marriage vows are conditional on the wife’s happiness:

But then, you say, how will we keep our wives from leaving us? First, I have to say to you that if force and intimidation are the only tools in your arsenal to keep your marriage, then you need to reevaluate your existence as a human being.

Instead of asking that question, ask instead, “How can I make my wife WANT to stay married to me?”

Paul answers this in Ephesians 5. Love your wives, as Christ loved the church.

This is the same message as the one I quoted at the top of the post from Joel and Kathy.  Make your wife happy or God says you will deserve it when she divorces you.  This is likewise built on the claim that a wife will be happy if her husband loves her.  Powell repeats this claim that a wife who is loved will be happy frequently in his writings on marriage.  In Headship is not Hierarchy Powell writes:

…you can see a woman who is loved by her husband. She is alive, fully human, confident, and joyfully doing whatever work God has called her to with spirit and life.

Note that you could easily reword this into the language that Joel and Kathy use; the wife is a responder.

Powell explains this in more detail in his post To the Newly Married. The key to a Christian marriage, he tells us, is for the husband to learn how to make his wife happy:

This is where it gets endlessly wonderful. Women are fascinating creatures; each one created just a little different. They are almost like a puzzle to be solved…  If you want a blessed and beneficial marriage, learn how to make your wife exult. What makes her tick? What does she fear? What does she dream of?

…Guys, do away with the jokes about not understanding women. You are commanded to do just that. But to do that you have to put off your own self-absorption, and figure out how to listen. Listen with your ears, with your eyes, even with your finger-tips. She’ll let you know what causes her to exult, but you have to tune in.

…Don’t try to learn about your wife from stereotypes, books (especially of the “women’s place is in the home” variety) or locker room gossip. This is your wife you are learning about and she is the only one who can show you what causes her to exult. You are on a wonderful journey of discovery together.

As Joel and Kathy say, every wife has a marriage manual written in her heart, from God.

Powell closes his advice to newly married couples by explaining that if their marriage ever becomes “stagnant”, this is a sign that the husband isn’t loving his wife enough and isn’t listening to the marriage manual in her heart.  He needs to repent and learn to make her happy before she decides to divorce him:

If you have been married for a while and find your love growing stagnant, it is probably because you didn’t heed God’s command. Repent and ask your wife’s forgiveness for failing to understand her. Then start your year now. Turn the TV off. Give up boys’ nights out, and learn how to cause your wife to rejoice. It may not be too late.

See Also:

Posted in Attacking headship, Complementarian, Crossdressing Theology, Disrespecting Respectability, Divorce, Joel and Kathy Davisson, Marriage, Not Listening, Pastor Sam Powell, selling divorce, Threatpoint, Traditional Conservatives, Turning a blind eye, Wake-up call, Wife worship | 144 Comments