Scott from Treasure State Psychological Services was kind enough to send me a quote that is making the rounds on Facebook:
Jesus didn’t die on the cross for you to be a side chick.
This is just one expression of an ubiquitous perspective by modern Christian women, and the corruption of the message of the Gospel is breathtaking. The problem with this perversion is twofold. First, Christ didn’t sacrifice Himself on our behalf so that Christians (male or female) could have a pleasurable life of sin. Yet the implicit frame of the statement is that women deserve a rewarding experience on the carousel, and if they aren’t getting it men have let them down.
Second, the message of the Gospel isn’t that we are worthy, but unworthy. This is a profound misunderstanding of our relationship to Christ and the very nature of His sacrifice. We don’t deserve the sacrifice He made for us. We are utterly unworthy. If we deserved forgiveness for our sins Christ’s sacrifice would not have been needed. Nor would we have reason to forever thank and praise Him for what He has done for us, since He would have merely been treating us as we deserved.
This twisted frame of mind is everywhere. One commenter at Lori Alexander’s blog reacted to her observation that men prefer debt free virgins by asserting that the message of the Gospel is that she is worthy:
Whether I have or have not gone to college, had sex before marriage, aquired debt, gotten a tattoo, etc. does not make me any less worthy of the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ, so what right does any earthly man (or woman) have to call me less than worthy to simply be his wife due to the same criteria?! Christ > humanity. Be careful that you preach Christ and not your own ideals.
For an even more astounding example of this perversion of the message of the Gospel, see Wendy Griffith’s book for Christian women looking for a husband. Griffith takes the parable of the Pearl of Great Price and twists it so that she and her readers are the Pearl of Great Price, not salvation!
Pearl of Great Price
Ladies, the Lord wants you to know that you are a pearl of great price, a treasure worth pursuing and protecting. You are worth fighting for and, like the pearl in the parable at the head of this chapter, worth everything it might cost a guy to obtain you. You are worth someone sacrificing his time, his routine, his comfort, his money, his whatever in order to have you. You are worth it! You are a prize to be won.
Keep in mind that the error isn’t just by modern Christian women. Christian men aren’t challenging this perversion because to them it is perfectly sensible. This message is anti-biblical, but it fits with the chivalrous paradigm so Christian men remain silent or even promote this message. See for example Pat Robertson at CBN promoting Wendy Griffith’s book:
I’m holding in my hand a very special book. It’s a book that every young girl should have. Teenagers should have it, college students should have it, and young single women should have it. It’s called You are a prize to be won. Written by none other than the lovely Wendy Griffith, and she has had all kinds of experiences!
See Also: Call me unchivalrous.