Submitting to the Lord sometimes involves drawing clear boundaries and enacting consequences when a husband sins.
Fox News explains that a wife who shot and killed her husband was trying to give him a wakeup call in Arkansas woman convicted of killing husband for his refusal to quit porn
Hill was infuriated that her husband had repeatedly subscribed to a porn channel on their Dish Network, despite her protests, Hill’s attorney said in court Monday.
…She said she didn’t know that shooting at his feet could kill him as he bent over. She said she only meant for the shooting to get his attention.
In other words, this was about power and control.
According to a local news story, her attorney explained that she shot her husband because what he was doing was an affront to her and God:
James said Frank Hill’s watching pornography was a “personal affront to her (Patricia Hill) and to her god. She told him over and over again to stop, and he said he would but went right back to doing it.”
According to People, Patricia Hill was found guilty and sentenced to 12 years.
Not surprisingly, none of the news stories I’ve found on the trial frame Patricia Hill as a domestic abuser who killed her victim in a fit of rage when she couldn’t exert power and control over him. Yet if the sexes were reversed this would be a textbook case of the Duluth model. As the founders of the Duluth model explain, domestic violence is always an expression of men feeling entitled to dominate and punish their women, which they blame on Christianity:
The underpinnings of the Duluth curriculum do come from a historical analysis. When Europeans came to this continent, they brought religion, laws, and economic systems that institutionalized the status of women as the property of men through marriage. From the church to the state, there was not only acceptance of male supremacy, but also an expectation that husbands would maintain the family order by controlling their wives. Various indiscretions committed by wives were offenses to be punished by husbands.
…Violence ends arguments. Violence is punishment—it sends a powerful message of disapproval.
That her own attorney felt free to present her desire to exert power and control over her husband as wholly natural speaks volumes. The reality is that nearly everyone in our society wholeheartedly supports domestic violence so long as the wife is the one exerting control. Hill’s offense in the minds of most is not her desire to dominate her husband. That is seen as good by everyone from feminists to complementarians. Her offense is the method she used to achieve power and control. Flying into a violent rage and breaking things would have been the preferred complementarian reaction, and Kathy Keller smashing the couple’s wedding china with a hammer is offered up as the model for Christian wives to follow. As Family Life explains, often times a wife has to result to violent measures to ensure that an “issue” is resolved. From Cycle of Unresolved Issues:
“What will it take to get your attention?” In the book The Meaning of Marriage, authors Tim and Kathy Keller relate how Kathy got Tim’s attention by lining up some of her good china, and as soon as Tim walked in the door, breaking it with a hammer. She got his attention!