The Christian Post has a piece up about former pastor Dave Gass titled After 40 years, ‘megachurch’ pastor slams Christianity and quits, deacon claims he had affair. The church Gass quit is Grace Family Fellowship, and from their about page they appear to be a fairly standard issue complementarian church:
We are a Southern Baptist Church (SBC) and are affiliated with The Gospel Coalition.
There is a lot packed into the story, including a deacon explaining that Gass is covering for his own unrepentant sin:
…he was my pastor when he “walked away”. He actually just slept with a married women in the church and got caught. He never repented and they still live together.
According to Gass, he lost his faith in Christ in part because of the lies modern Christians taught him about marriage:
As an adult my marriage was a sham and a constant source of pain for me. I did everything I was supposed to – marriage workshops, counseling, bible reading together, date nights every week, marriage books – but my marriage never became what I was promised it would be…
Obviously the Bible makes no such promises. But modern Christians certainly do. Modern Christians teach that if a husband is godly enough, God will grant him a happy wife and therefore a happy marriage. See for example How Jesus Trains Husbands.
Pastor Doug Wilson explains in the introduction to his book Reforming Marriage that if a husband is godly he will have a happy marriage. Conversely, if the husband follows Pastor Wilson’s instructions but the wife still isn’t happy, this is an indication that the man is a hypocrite:
This is why I am afraid that this book will be of little use to those who simply want a “formula” to follow that will build them a happy marriage….
…the love of the Christian husband does not proceed from reading the “right books,” including this one, or going to the right seminars. God will not patch His grace onto some humanistic psychological nonsense—even if that nonsense is couched and buried in Christian terminology.
When a husband seeks to glorify God in his home, he will be equipped to love his wife as he is commanded. And if he loves his wife as commanded, the aroma of his home will be pleasant indeed.
The damage this false teaching does goes beyond merely destroying Christian families. It also threatens Christians’ faith in Christ. Men like Gass think this is actually Christian teaching. When they realize it is nonsense they reject Christ and not the false teaching.