Feminism is the assertion that men are evil and naturally want to harm women, followed by pleas to men to solve all of women’s problems.
–Dalrock’s Law of Feminism
Jessica Valenti writes in Dear Men, Feminism Needs You that she is tired of nagging men to do what she wants them to do.
Stop waiting for us to explain everything, and start doing the work
She explains that her desire to nag men is yet one more burden men have placed upon her:
…someone asked a question I’ve been asked a hundred times before: How can feminists do a better job of reaching men?
…I answered that I don’t really care about reaching men anymore. It’s too exhausting, too demeaning. It’s absurd that a woman should have to persuade someone else of her humanity (which is, remember, what feminism is actually about).
That’s not to say I don’t think men’s support is necessary for women to make real progress. It is. But men can and should figure out for themselves how to be a true ally to women — without creating more work for us.
Yet Valenti is tireless in her selfless willingness to nag. Despite what is an unbearable burden, she manages to summon the will to nag, if only to nag men into not making her want to nag them. But this comes with a stern warning. If men don’t stop making her want to nag them, Valenti will feel the desire to reject us instead of nagging us. Who would nag us then?
Men, if you see all of this and still require convincing — why in the world would we want you on our side? How can we trust a person who can look at the victim blaming and backlash, the discrimination and bigotry, and still not be sure that feminism is necessary?
We should not have to persuade you or try to “bring you along”; you should be outraged already. And not just because we are your “wives, daughters, or mothers” — but because we are people.
Consider yourselves warned men. If we don’t shape up and do what she wants, she’ll be angry with us. Almost too angry to nag us. But not quite, for she is a gracious nag. Let this be a warning to all of us either way.