The wake-up call saves the day yet again.

3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not  let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

–1 Pet 3:1-6 (ESV)

The Bible’s teaching on marriage is hard for modern Christians to accept.  In 1 Pet 3:1-6 the Apostle Peter tells wives to submit to their husband, even if he is failing as a Christian husband.  Peter tells wives of failing husbands to call them lord and win them over without a word.  Because submission to a failing husband is something we find difficult to accept, modern Christians have substituted the exact opposite in its place. In the new narrative what failing Christian husbands need is a wake-up call from their wives, and Christian husbands need to respond by winning their wive’s hearts.

Darren and Heather Turner lived the story of the wake-up call, and now their story is the latest Christian movie on marriage.  When Army Chaplain Darren Turner came home after deployment in a war zone, he wasn’t “communicating” with his wife and she became unhappy.   In her interview with CBN she explains that she knew her only chance of saving her marriage was to trust God’s plan by kicking her husband out of the house:

I was fighting against him, for our marriage. And he was just running away.”

“She was just my wife,” says Darren, “and she wasn’t in the deployment. I didn’t think she understood who I was or where I was coming from.”

The animosity continued to get worse over the next six months. Heather told Darren he had to leave.

I knew something deeper, something supernatural, that we could not manufacture, had to happen, or else this was going to go nowhere,” says Heather. “It was going to get worse. So that was my hope in the separation, that God would do something deeper in both of us.

This was just the wake-up call her husband needed, and after four months he broke down and came to her crying:

Four months into the separation, Darren met Heather to drop off the kids.

“That was the first time that we had a public exchange of the children, and that hit me like a ton of bricks when I let my kids go into the arms of their Mom, and that broke me. I was just devastated, crying out ‘God, what is going on? How can we ever survive this? Please, if you’ve ever done anything, heal us. Fix us.’”

Christian moviemaker Dr. David Evans learned of their story and immediately knew he wanted to turn it into a movie:

Dr. Evans learned our full story. After the deployment, I came home and almost lost my marriage. I was a wreck and did not handle that homecoming well. I got out of the Army for a year, we patched things up and I went back in the Army. When David called us, we had just returned to the military. He said, “Oh, my gosh. It’s not just the online articles in your blog, but now you’re telling me this whole cycle of crisis and redemption.”

That’s when he said, “I’ve gotta get your life rights, I’m gonna make a film about it.

Their story was the perfect vehicle to preach the modern Christian message of the wake-up call model of marriage.  Christian men need to know that the wake-up call is real, and if they don’t keep their wives happy they will end up divorced:

Based on a true story, David G. Evans’ film follows Army chaplain Darren Turner (Justin Bruening) and his wife Heather (Sarah Drew), who wrestle to keep their marriage together through Darren’s first deployment and its unexpected aftermath.

Shortly after arriving in Iraq as part of the 2007 surge, Darren’s commanding officer presents the rookie chaplain with a generous stack of divorce proceedings from the men in the camp, along with a not-so-subtle warning that he could be next.

The most disturbing thing is that modern Christians won’t question this message for a heartbeat.  They love the wake-up call message of marriage just as much as they hate the biblical instruction to wives to submit to their husbands.  Finally, this is a “Christian” message on marriage modern Christians can get behind with enthusiasm.

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This entry was posted in Attacking headship, CBN, Christian Films, Disrespecting Respectability, Indivisible, Marriage, Submission, Wake-up call. Bookmark the permalink.

80 Responses to The wake-up call saves the day yet again.

  1. PokeSalad says:

    But, but…….were plates thrown?

  2. Heidi says:

    Ha. I just saw the same attitude in a Facebook post, wherein a friend of mine who’s a chaplain says “At the same time, I watch countless marriages fail because husbands didn’t heed their wives until it was too late (or wives simply didn’t say anything until it was too late)” and bangs the “We need counseling” drum. I put the post (and my husband’s responses) on my blog.

  3. Pingback: The wake-up call saves the day yet again. | @the_arv

  4. Caspar Reyes says:

    Here we go again, again.

    Again.

  5. earl says:

    I was fighting against him, for our marriage. And he was just running away.

    And I’m sure nobody ever noticed that sentence because we have a church of feminism nonsense to keep up. Wimminz fight agains their husband and that’s often the result. Better to live in the corner of a roof than a quarrelsome woman in a house. The failure of marriage often starts there rather than heeding the Bible verse Dalrock posted.

  6. Joe2 says:

    They love the wake-up call message of marriage just as much as they hate the biblical instruction to wives to submit to their husbands. – How times have changed. At one time, at least Catholic brides were specifically instructed during the Nuptial Service to fear their husbands. (My Bridal Book – A Manual of Select Prayers for the Use of the Faithful, imprimatur 1956, Regina Press) Now husbands are instructed to fear their wives.

  7. Anonymous Reader says:

    I was fighting against him, for our marriage. And he was just running away.

    “Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman”
    Proverbs 21:19

  8. Anonymous Reader says:

    PokeSalad
    But, but…….were plates thrown?

    More importantly, how much of her wedding china was sacrificed in the process, by the Evangelical American Princess?

    @Earl
    You got to Proverbs first. Well, maybe next time…

  9. Stryker7200 says:

    This disgusts me. The fact no one calls out wives who do this is mind numbing.

  10. earl says:

    You got to Proverbs first. Well, maybe next time…

    It was one of the few Bible verses that was said twice in Proverbs. Perhaps to state how important it is for a wife to not be quarrelsome or to not marry a quarrelsome woman.

  11. Dry Holes says:

    The hippies won. We are today told to be ruled by Feels, egalitarianism, manipulation of civilization-maintaining men by shame, disrespect and sex strikes (instead of scripture, reason, order and hierarchy).

    Have these heretics ever seen an organization that actually functioned (let alone flourished) under such deluded new-age concepts? Can anyone show me any organization (business, sports team, municipality, chess club) that has survived 5-10 years under the rules we are taught by these lefty, feminist heretics?

    These are wolves, snakes, blind guides- enemies of Christ and His Church.

  12. feeriker says:

    I guess the subtle message here is “Hey, if a professional Chris.. er, sorry, pastor can’t keep his ‘Christian’ wife in line, what chance do you think the rest of you schmucks have?”

  13. Oscar says:

    I was fighting against him, for our marriage. And he was just running away.

    That line also stuck out to me. Hey, genius, if you want your husband to enjoy your company, maybe try making your company enjoyable. Ya think?

    The average Christian wife today does everything she can to drive her husband away, then bitches at and blames him for not wanting to be around her. Why is this so difficult to figure out?

  14. Keith says:

    Poor Darren He almost got away. Now he is stuck with never ending shit test and fitness test. If he folded the first time he will fold again.

  15. feeriker says:

    It was one of the few Bible verses that was said twice in Proverbs. Perhaps to state how important it is for a wife to not be quarrelsome or to not marry a quarrelsome woman.

    I’d pay a month’s salary to anybody who could provide audio-video of a pastor preaching a sermon on this.

  16. Gunner Q says:

    “The Bible’s teaching on marriage is hard for modern Christians to accept.”

    I think half of modern Christians only claim Christ because an external attack against Him would be too honest. Infiltration and subversion seems to be their style.

    And no, I don’t only mean the women.

    It’s like reading Jeremiah 42-43. The people went to the Prophet Jeremiah and said, “Help us! We’ll do anything God tells us to! Anything!”

    Jeremiah: “God says do anything but DON’T go to Egypt.”

    People: “Screw you, you fraud! We’re going to Egypt and you’re coming with us!”

    Christians: “What can we do to stop our marriages from failing so often? This is a serious problem!”

    Dalrock: “Stop destroying the husbands, as God’s Word says.”

    Christians: “That’s crazy talk. Let’s try kicking husbands out of their homes! Divorce filings will keep marriages together!”

  17. feeriker says:

    The average Christian wife today does everything she can to drive her husband away, then bitches at and blames him for not wanting to be around her. Why is this so difficult to figure out?

    This is why I put “Christian” in “scare quotes” whenever I use it as an adjective for churchian women/wives these days.

  18. earl says:

    The average Christian wife today does everything she can to drive her husband away, then bitches at and blames him for not wanting to be around her. Why is this so difficult to figure out?

    My guess is since most modern women’s default state is being the victim no matter what they do they don’t see what they are doing is producing the resultant effect. Hence things like Scripture to help them out.

  19. feeriker says:

    My guess is since most modern women’s default state is being the victim no matter what they do they don’t see what they are doing is producing the resultant effect. Hence things like Scripture to help them out.

    In other words, they can’t grok cause and effect.

  20. earl says:

    I always wondered why some couldn’t figure out cause and effect because it seems obvious to many guys here…but think about it…

    What happens when a person defaults to the stance of being a victim?

  21. drifter says:

    God, help us.
    And I mean it.

  22. Anonymous Reader says:

    Earl

    It was one of the few Bible verses that was said twice in Proverbs. Perhaps to state how important it is for a wife to not be quarrelsome or to not marry a quarrelsome woman.

    Actually it’s more than twice. Almost as if it’s important or something.

    Proverbs 21-9 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than to share a house with a contentious woman.

    Proverbs 21-19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman

    Proverbs 25-24 t is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than to share a house with a contentious woman.

    Proverbs 27-15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike:

    Every man should know of these quotes, if for no other reason than to remind himself that it is not entirely his fault…this is a known aspect of women, and it was known thousands of years ago.

    An exercise I have suggested to some people: read through Proverbs, write down every verse that refers to “woman” or “women”. Compare what is said in Proverbs 31 with what is said in the rest of the book…but nobody ever gets back to me on this. Strange.

  23. earl says:

    It’s bad enough dealing with contentious women when you aren’t married to them…God help the man that is.

  24. feministhater says:

    No marriage for me! Fuck this shit.

    Guy goes off to do his duty and the wife sits back out of danger and then when he comes back, nags him to death and kicks him out the home until he is broken from seeing the destruction. Fucking cunt, bitch!

    Is that what marriage is? Cunts?! Really?!

  25. feeriker says:

    Guy goes off to do his duty and the wife sits back out of danger and then when he comes back, nags him to death and kicks him out the home until he is broken from seeing the destruction.

    That’s what got to me. The guy narrowly survives death only to come back home to a situation in which he probably at one point wishes he’d just been hlown to pieces by an IED in Shitholestan.

    New addition to Proverbs: ‘Tis better to be slain in battle than to survive and dwell forevermore with a contentious wife.”

  26. Nick Mgtow says:

    If I roll my eyes harder at that trailer, I might start to lift in the air like an helicopter…

  27. Nick Mgtow says:

    INTELLIGENCE BECOMES A COMPETITION.
    I’ve had several conversations that suddenly turned into a contest on who was smarter about a subject or who knows more about XYZ than the other. Don’t get me wrong, healthy challenges are great when you’re challenging how someone thinks or trying to share different viewpoints. When it turns into a pissing contest, though, it really isn’t worth anyone’s time.

    https://www.bolde.com/smarter-guys-date/

  28. A man supports his brothers in arms with prayer and the Holy Word for weeks and months and then witnesses them one-by-one getting shredded to pieces by IEDs, .34 caliber sniper rifle rounds, RPGs and heavy machine gun fire.

    Then when he comes home, its all about her.

  29. feeriker says:

    Then when he comes home, its all about her.

    It’s past time to start sending bitchy, spoiled, contentious military wives into the war zone.

    I mean that seriously.

  30. feministhater says:

    Just don’t get married. Military men should not get married, they are stupid if they do. The wives either cheat on them or make their lives a misery.

    Marriage is a joke but nobody is laughing.

  31. thedeti says:

    When Mrs. Turner said to Darren that he needed to leave and she wanted a marital separation, Darren should have said a bit of I Cor. 7:15:

    “But if the unbelieving depart, let him (her) depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

    “Dearest wife, if you want a separation, so be it. Since you’re the one who wants out of this marriage, YOU leave. You’re an unbeliever, or at least you are acting as one. So you’re free to depart. And I’m free to remarry.

    “Let me know what furniture you want. I’ll be moving half the money into accounts in my name only. And I’ll get a lawyer and let you know who that is, and you have your lawyer contact me. I will be contacting our creditors to advise that you, and you alone, will be responsible for your expenses going forward. Let me know where you’ll be staying so I can forward your mail. Let me know when you’d like to see the kids, and we’ll have the lawyers work something out.

    “Let’s go on upstairs. I’ll help you pack, call you a cab, and pay for your first night at the Super 8 on Main Street.”

  32. earl says:

    Perhaps someone can correct me if I’m wrong but I thought in ancient Israel any man who was in the army that got married couldn’t go into battle for a year so that he could be with his wife. Of course I also think they didn’t go to the far ends of the globe when they went to battle either.

    I think I see the wisdom in that…as opposed to doing a quick marriage and then you have to go immediately to Shitistan while she starts to get fussy.

  33. m11nine says:

    The wife in this story is sitting home being the true victim of the Iraq war, and when her husband comes home he thinks HE is the one with problems! Just like a man to not “get” it.

    “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.”

    -HIllary Clinton @ Conference on domestic violence in San Salvador, El Salvador (17 November 1998). http://clinton3.nara.gov/WH/EOP/First_Lady/html/generalspeeches/1998/19981117.html

  34. feministhater says:

    Dearest wife, if you want a separation, so be it. Since you’re the one who wants out of this marriage, YOU leave. You’re an unbeliever, or at least you are acting as one. So you’re free to depart. And I’m free to remarry.

    Let me know what furniture you want. I’ll be moving half the money into accounts in my name only. And I’ll get a lawyer and let you know who that is, and you have your lawyer contact me. I will be contacting our creditors to advise that you, and you alone, will be responsible for your expenses going forward. Let me know where you’ll be staying so I can forward your mail. Let me know when you’d like to see the kids, and we’ll have the lawyers work something out.

    And as soon as he does that, the phone comes out, she calls the police, accuses him of abuse and he’s on the street looking at jail time, debt for lawyers fees, a failed marriage, no time to see his kids and no one looking out for him at all, even his Church will see him fail; and his ‘military career’ will be used against him to show that he is abusive and a tyrant.

    There is no wining this. It’s a rigged game, the sooner everyone gets that, the better.

  35. Oscar says:

    @ feeriker

    I’d pay a month’s salary to anybody who could provide audio-video of a pastor preaching a sermon on this.

    Pay up!

    Here are a few choice quotes.

    It’s not your job to change your husband.

    She’s not supposed to preach to her husband.

    It’s easy to submit when things are going good.

    There’s nothing uglier than a loud woman.

    If you act like a man, you’ll get treated like one.

    The biggest troublemakers I’ve ever seen in churches, in homes, in the world, are women.

    I’m tired of all these women’s meetings. Your faith is exercised in your home, with your husband and your children. That’s your place. Not to correct him. That’s God’s place.

    You’re not the leader, so strop trying to be.

    I suspect a lot of those women have a problem with that [arguing] online, because they’re horrible wives who drive their husbands into the wilderness.

    I know men that’ll take on a lion, rather than stand up to their own wives.

  36. feministhater says:

    You don’t play rigged games. Marriage is rigged, ergo, fuck it.

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  38. feministhater says:

    And of course some women chimes in ….

    Ann A says:

    Ok get out of the old Testament Jesus made all things new and the relationship between a husband and wife makes them each other’s equal she should respect him but he should love and care about her feelings if he was anything like Jesus there wouldn’t be any complaints from a female the problem is the man can never measure up to what he’s supposed to be in God and therefore the poor wives have to complain so I feel sorry for women who are married I’ve seen it so many times men think they’re dictators over their wives when they’re supposed to be Christ to their wives so really the problem lies with the male. And the truth is if husbands would do what they’re supposed to do then what would women have to complain about absolutely nothing so I think it’s more a man’s problem than a woman’s.

    blah blah blah, it’s like they cannot help themselves but prove they are contentious shits.

  39. john james r says:

    Is she really saying;

    “I chased him away and he was running away” ???

    Also, she is a one-percenter in terms of American wives. She probably was subconsciously hoping he’d die in combat so she’d secure lifelong funding and branch swing with her looks. Wanted him gone almost immediately after he came home. Only stayed with him when she sniffed fame via the movie (which will come and go with hardly any fanfare.) She files on him within two years.

  40. feministhater says:

    Wanted him gone almost immediately after he came home. Only stayed with him when she sniffed fame via the movie (which will come and go with hardly any fanfare.) She files on him within two years.

    Probably. Probably cheated on him as well and probably still is. His children probably aren’t even his.

  41. earl says:

    If you act like a man, you’ll get treated like one.

    Heck I know a lot fewer men that are ‘likes to fight’ guy than women that want to start something. Mainly because you never know which guy that could be better at throwing a punch at you.

    It’s easy to submit when things are going good.

    I’d have to disagree here…I don’t think when things are going good or adverse it is easy for a woman to submit. It might be even harder when things are going good as example…women in this country have probably never had it better than any woman in the history of humanity.

  42. feeriker says:

    When Mrs. Turner said to Darren that he needed to leave and she wanted a marital separation, Darren should have said a bit of I Cor. 7:15:

    In eras bygone when pastors were less the wishy-washy castrati that they are today, it’s possible that someone in Darren Turner’s predicament would have responded as you describe. Today, however, “pastors” are fully subscribed to the feminist agenda, which would make such a biblically based resolution unthinkable. Furthermore, wifey would almost certainly respond to such a reaction by invoking the wrath of the State by crying “ABUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE!!!!!!”, ruining his life with a phone call (and hers too, but women in the throes of emotion never think that far ahead, nor see the bigger, longer-term picture).

    Either way, she would go out of her way to apostacize her faith in the most destructive manner possible.

    Just as a thought, I wonder if pastors today do any better of a job at vetting “Christian” women for candidates as wives than their male congregants do. The evidence I’ve witnessed firsthand strongly suggests that the answer is no.

  43. john james r says:

    Hillary’s quote replacing ‘war’ with ‘divorces they initiated’ is kind of fun;

    “Women have always been the primary victims of divorces they initiated. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in divorces they initiated. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from divorces they initiated and sometimes, more frequently in today’s divorces, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.”

  44. thedeti says:

    FemHater:

    And the man should call the police ahead of time before he gives her the speech. He should call the police and tell them that HE feels threatened. He should already have the following in place:

    1) Petition for legal separation

    2) Petition for exclusive possession of the premises

    3) Emergency order of protection

    4) Emergency petition for custody of children

    5) Petition for child support order against her wages

  45. Hazelshade says:

    “Indivisible” looks like a great horror flick!

  46. Agreed.
    There is no compelling reason for a man to get married anymore.
    There are literally no incentives for him to do so.

    Men agreed to marry women primarily for 5 reasons:
    1. Access to unlimited sexual intimacy
    2. Feminine companionship
    3. Genetic success/heirs
    4. Social status/respect for assuming the responsibility and accountability
    5. Authority to affect the direction and outcome of the marriage and family.

    That’s pretty much it, distilled down to core elements.

    Modern day marriage affords men NONE of these incentives:
    1. There are more sexless marriages now than at any time in history.
    2. Modern western women are no longer feminine, and most don’t even know what feminine virtue is, let alone know to acquire, possess and maintain it to any meaningful degree.
    3. Husbands must financially support are held legally accountable and responsible for ANY heirs that come out of their wife’s vagina, regardless of their true paternity.
    4. The least venerated, most ridiculed and derided positions in modern day western society are none other than husband and father. Baby rabies or not, no man wants that job anymore.
    5. Husbands have zero authority in marriage. The state has transferred all rights, power and authority in any marriage to wives, while keeping all legal and financial liabilities, accountability and responsibility squarely on the shoulders of men.

    Marriage today is a contractual arrangement riddled with high maintenance costs, high legal and financial risks, virtually no authority to make decisions, an underwhelming return on investment at best, and a ridiculously prohibitive termination clause no matter where you live.

    If you are a spiritual man, then you can follow the path of Paul, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Joseph, John the Baptist and Jesus the Christ and remain single.

  47. john james r says:

    I’m with Earl on this one;

    “It’s easy to submit when things are going good”

    Women start binging on their hypergamy/insanity/entitlement cocktails when things are going well.

    Check out perfect Sweden in 1985 with 6’3″ Thor clones all over the place with advanced degrees, pentilingual, with about the highest degree of sophistication, education and civility that the world has ever seen. Swedish women went berserk with their one-sided gender war, the exact opposite of submission.

  48. thedeti says:

    I’ve figured out the problem here.

    These men are terrified of their wives. And women are using that to get control.

    But the problem is that men are viewing women’s demands for separation and threatening divorce as a shit test, as a test to see “what he’s made of”. And that’s wrong, because a woman saying “I want a divorce” or “I think we should separate” is not shit testing him. She’s declaring war. And the man’s response needs to be a legal blitzkrieg. He needs to go General Sherman on her and the marriage. He needs to make it very clear that she’s going down a road from which there’s no return. This isn’t a game of chicken, this isn’t a staredown to see who “blinks” first. This is the end of the marriage and it means total destruction. It means all out war. It means he will fight, and fight hard, for what he needs. It means he will take everyone, including his soon to be ex wife and his kids, through bankruptcy if need be. It means being Zeroed Out, as Rollo would say.

    “I want a divorce” or “I think you should move out” is not a shit test. It’s a very specific situation calling for a very specific response.

  49. feeriker says:

    @Oscar

    Well, I’m between jobs at the moment, so I’ll have get back to you on that. 😋

    I do wonder if that pastor still has a congregation, or was he tarred, feathered, and lynched immediately after delivering that sermon?

  50. john james r says:

    Great post Constrained Locus. Very clear breakdown. All I can add is that rampant obesity acts as an accelerant on the dumpster fire of modern marriage.

  51. earl says:

    Those are good reasons as to why marriage is not a good incentive for men anymore…I’ll also add more to the why.

    ‘1. There are more sexless marriages now than at any time in history.’

    Widespread fornication can be seen as a reason behind that. (or AF if you will)…which is the start of rebelling against their husband.

    ‘2.Modern western women are no longer feminine, and most don’t even know what feminine virtue is, let alone know to acquire, possess and maintain it to any meaningful degree.’

    Feminism told them to be feminine and virtuous was ‘patriarchal oppression’ and that the should be masculine and promiscuous in the name of the false god ‘equality’

    ‘3.3. Husbands must financially support are held legally accountable and responsible for ANY heirs that come out of their wife’s vagina, regardless of their true paternity.’

    Injustice.

    ‘4. The least venerated, most ridiculed and derided positions in modern day western society are none other than husband and father. Baby rabies or not, no man wants that job anymore.’

    Rebelling against the patriarchy…which started because of rebellion against God.

    ‘5. Husbands have zero authority in marriage. The state has transferred all rights, power and authority in any marriage to wives, while keeping all legal and financial liabilities, accountability and responsibility squarely on the shoulders of men.’

    Injustice and rebellion…state sponsored.

  52. Marriage is pretty much exactly like accepting a manager job role where you are accountable and responsible to deliver to revenue number, except you have zero authority, power or rights to affect or even influence operations, marketing, product management, engineering, pricing or the very sales team members themselves.

    When rights, power and authority are not commensurate with accountability and responsibility, the outcome is dysfunction, breakdown, chaos and injustice.

    This is why marriage is no longer a holy sacrament today. It is a wretched existence.
    No matter who you are as a married man, the gun is always in the room.
    The only question you must continue to forever ask yourself every fucking day for the rest of your life is whether your wife still possesses sufficiently quantities of human benevolence not to pick it up and use it.

  53. feeriker says:

    But the problem is that men are viewing women’s demands for separation and threatening divorce as a shit test, as a test to see “what he’s made of”. And that’s wrong, because a woman saying “I want a divorce” or “I think we should separate” is not shit testing him. She’s declaring war. And the man’s response needs to be a legal blitzkrieg.

    If the majority of men threatened with divorce finally wake up and go on the “blitzkrieg” offensive and start legally Stalingradding/Fallujahing their wives, it will only be a matter of time before the State takes measures to preemptively hobble them. At that point. though, a tipping point will have been passed and married men will start ghosting out on their wives, single men will start avoiding women altogether, and men collectively will start finally waging war on the system.

  54. earl says:

    But the problem is that men are viewing women’s demands for separation and threatening divorce as a shit test, as a test to see “what he’s made of”.

    I think when a woman goes that route she’s showing us who she is rather than testing the man to see what he’s made of.

  55. thedeti says:

    >it will only be a matter of time before the State takes measures to preemptively hobble them. At that point. though, a tipping point will have been passed and married men will start ghosting out on their wives,

    If that happens, married men in shit marriages are going to just scale back their work, or get fired, or quit their jobs. And they’ll just tell their wives to go ahead and leave. Or they’ll just leave, and abandon their marriages and kids. They’ll just go further and further into debt. They’ll just take up residence at the county jails where the divorced guys will be serving their contempt sentences for failure to pay child support. They’ll just say “I don’t care anymore. Just take me to the county jail. I have nowhere else to go, nowhere else to live, no job and no money. I’ll just go live on the county’s dime.”

    When the county jails swell with contemnors, when women STILL aren’t getting child support money, THEN maybe things might change. I don’t know.

  56. Pingback: Hooah! | Dalrock

  57. Chad says:

    Question for Dalrock and any commenters who care to weigh in: What are some good Bible studies that I can do one on one with my wife to teach some of the lessons brought up on this blog?
    I’m trying to be more active in providing biblical instruction for her and my kids. i worry that a lot of the modern stuff will lead the discussions astray, or in fact, deviate from the actual lesson from the Bible. The analysis Dalrock does of this movie only increases my fears! Thank you in advance.

  58. Uh yeah. I don’t know how to break this to you guys.
    But the jails? They are already full of “family court offenders”.
    Example: Berkeley, California
    https://www.postandcourier.com/news/serious-overcrowding-pinches-the-berkeley-county-jail-from-all-angles/article_f38df0ce-cb2c-11e8-8498-cb7afdd4eb2d.html

    We have finally arrived! The best that men can hope for is for women to finally be nice to us, and to not get John Schneidered?

  59. feeriker says:

    They’ll just say “I don’t care anymore. Just take me to the county jail. I have nowhere else to go, nowhere else to live, no job and no money. I’ll just go live on the county’s dime.”

    Given that humanity seems incapable of learning lessons except the hard and painful way, it’s going to require a massive number of men to do this to convince what passes for society that creating a situation where the one class of people that produces the most essentials and that makes things work no longer has anything to lose by not doing so anymore is not a really good idea for sustaining that trivial thing called “human civilization.”

  60. feeriker says:

    Uh yeah. I don’t know how to break this to you guys.
    But the jails? They are already full of “family court offenders”.
    Example: Berkeley, California

    And you of course know that when said jails become unsustainably overcrowded that they’ll release murderers and rapists before they’ll ever release men guilty of “family law violations.”

  61. Nick Mgtow says:

    feministhater says:
    October 30, 2018 at 1:58 pm
    Just don’t get married. Military men should not get married, they are stupid if they do. The wives either cheat on them or make their lives a misery.

    Marriage is a joke but nobody is laughing.

    I see that nice chick in the street. I hit on her. We go on a date. At the end of the evening, she tells me “I’d like to see you again, plus, my military boyfriend is out of the country for 6 months, so we can see each other more”.

    I was disgusted!

  62. Karl says:

    I read the article, and interestingly enough…

    —–
    “She was in the kids’ room, packing up some toys, and I just went to her, grabbed her, and squeezed her. I was boohooing, she was boohooing, and I would not let her go.”

    “That day,” says Heather, “I made a conscious decision in my heart, and I had to humble myself, and I just chose willfully, not in mind heart, not with my emotions, but willfully said to the Lord, ‘Your ways are higher than my ways. The only thing I know is that Your way is better, that I’m going to choose to stay married.”
    “We started a new phase in our relationship because we forgave each other,” says Darren. “We both were broken at the same time. This was divine inspiration in our lives, and thank God that He interrupted our selfishness.”

    “And it was as if a fog was lifted,” adds Heather. “As soon as I humbled myself, and agreed with the Lord, it was as if that’s all He required. He didn’t require for me to do it all right. He just wanted me to give up and allow Him to finish the work that he began in us.

    Darren and Heather got back together and began to rebuild their marriage.
    —–

    So she initiated a separation, her husband came to her four months later and wouldn’t let her go, she submitted to her husband’s wish which she described as “I humbled myself, and agreed with the Lord,” and then “got back together and began to rebuild their marriage.” Indirectly acknowledging that the separation was a mistake and against the will of God.

    I bet $100 that the film will spin this very differently, and make the separation seem like the catalyst for positive change.

  63. feministhater says:

    And the man should call the police ahead of time before he gives her the speech. He should call the police and tell them that HE feels threatened. He should already have the following in place:

    This is not marriage, it’s hogwash bullshit. Just don’t get married if these are the stupid games that have to be played. It’s bullshit, in its entirety. Put a bullet in the head of marriage, it’s done. Fuck it.

  64. earl says:

    “I’d like to see you again, plus, my military boyfriend is out of the country for 6 months, so we can see each other more”

    Yeah if any guy gets deployed…he should just break it off with his girlfriend if he has one.

    The days of writing love notes back and forth and her staying faithful are long over.

  65. thedeti says:

    FemHater:

    What do the Darren Turners of the world have to lose at that point? His wife has announced she wants a separation. He’s screwed anyway, no matter how this goes. There’s no putting a marriage back together after she says “I want a separation” or “I want a divorce”. He’s going to lose about 60% of his stuff. He’s going to see his kids every other weekend and every other major holiday.

    he might as well go for broke. He might as well get a lawyer and fight like hell on things like 50/50 residential. He might as well go for primary residential custody. He might as well spend the money on his lawyer, because if he doesn’t spend it, she’ll get it, and consume it. He might as well show he has some fight in him and he might as well show everyone he’s serious about a post-divorce life. He might as well show his kids he cares enough about them to fight for them. He’s going to lose. He might as well go down swinging.

    No one will respect him if he just lays back and thinks of England. No one will respect him if he throws up his hands and says “Just get it over with, now, i’ll give her anything she wants, just get it over with”. No. Stand and fight. Maybe you’ll keep some things you need. Maybe you’ll get that 50/50 custody. You probably won’t, but maybe you will. You’ve got nothing to lose. It’s only money. At this point, you might as well fight.

  66. Gunner Q says:

    Hazelshade @ 2:29 pm:
    ““Indivisible” looks like a great horror flick!”

    The real horror is they’re timing it for Thanksgiving instead of Halloween.

  67. Gary Eden says:

    This is what happens when you give women rights. They can’t handle it. This is well and done proven now. The only solution left is restoring full on patriarchy and eliminating all women’s rights.

    Failing that, we loose marriage. We loose civilization. We loose Christian America.

    You can have women’s rights or the blessings of civilization. But not both.

  68. Jay Fink says:

    I note an irony in the part that tells married women not to wear gold, braid their hair etc. It’s basically telling women not looking sexy is part of being a submissive wife.

    Why I find that ironic is that I see record numbers of women, both single and married, who do nothing to look sexy or pretty. Part of this could be because I am in the Pacific Northwest now and there is a strong anti-beauty culture in women here. The irony is the women stay as plain as can be in part because they see that as part of feminism. They think putting on makeup, wearing an attractive outfit, doing your hair etc is catering to men. They think doing nothing to enhance their beauty is a liberating experience and have no idea that the Bible considers it a part of being submissive.

  69. earl says:

    They think doing nothing to enhance their beauty is a liberating experience and have no idea that the Bible considers it a part of being submissive.

    That’s not entirely the case.

    ‘Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.’ 1 Peter :3 3-5

    If they aren’t looking beautiful and doing it to rebel against men…that doesn’t mean they are being submissive. The point of the Bible verse is that internal beauty of being submissive is more precious to God than looking beautiful on the outside.

  70. Oscar says:

    @ Earl & Jay Fink

    If they aren’t looking beautiful and doing it to rebel against men…that doesn’t mean they are being submissive. The point of the Bible verse is that internal beauty of being submissive is more precious to God than looking beautiful on the outside.

    Additionally, the wearing of gold, jewelry, and braided hair are signals of wealth. There are two kinds of modesty being promoted here.

    1. Avoid putting the physical goods on display.
    2. Avoid showing off your wealth.

    Note that women are prone to both, whereas men are prone to the second, for reasons that should be obvious.

  71. Lost Patrol says:

    “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.”

    -Hillary Clinton @ Conference on domestic violence in San Salvador, El Salvador (17 November 1998). http://clinton3.nara.gov/WH/EOP/First_Lady/html/generalspeeches/1998/19981117.html

    Hillary that’s so old school. Not her fault though because it was 1998. Now, in the highly progressive Western World, women can just go into the combat arms and prevent all that primary victimization from happening in the first place by defeating their enemies on the battlefield.

  72. Sharkly says:

    Crazy Cunt Idolatry!

  73. Jon Patch says:

    My ex blew out the marriage in the standard template; displayed general discontent and poor attitude, then demanded I seek counseling for issues she could not articulate or even define, but was certain I would figure it out once I was in therapy, then forced me from the house with court orders when I refused counseling, then filed divorce as her only option because “she was fighting AGAINST me FOR the marriage and I was running away” which is a very condemning and shaming statement. One of the most unsettling aspects of the divorce was all the “friends” telling her how brave she was. Fitting that this movie is being talked about on Halloween. It is a horror movie.

  74. BillyS says:

    Jon,

    Sounds familiar. I was against counseling during my marriage because most of it is telling the man what to do and then telling the woman to hold the man accountable for that. Idiotic.

    My wife wanted me to get into counseling, but had no desire to stop the divorce proceedings once she started. Counseling is really a joke. Even a former pastor thought I needed counseling because this all hit me VERY hard. I see nothing counseling would have done though. I don’t need a “listening ear” for 1 hour a week. I need people to connect with and the modern church is VERY BAD at making that happen, unfortunately.

  75. PokeSalad says:

    Hillary that’s so old school. Not her fault though because it was 1998.

    Well, cut her some slack….she was suffering PTSD from all that sniper fire in Bosnia.

  76. Burner Prime says:

    I can attest to the truth in the basic movie storyline. My grandfather returned from Africa after WWII with severe trauma after witnessing the carnage. My dear grandmother was more concerned about her needs (solipsism) and divorced him due to his inability to give her excitement anymore.

  77. Dalrock says:

    @Anon Reader

    Actually it’s more than twice. Almost as if it’s important or something.

    Thanks for collating it. I can use that!

  78. Anon2 says:

    constrainedlocus said :

    Baby rabies or not, no man wants that job anymore.

    What? Says who?

    Too many men are still too blue pill, and happily sign up for their own enslavement and abuse. This entire problem would correct itself is even 20% of men actively avoided marriage and just pumped and dumped instead.

    Why on Earth would you say that ‘no man wants to be married anymore’? We would already have won long before it reached that point. Clearly, it has not.

  79. ChristianCool says:

    The “wake-up call” is almost always a “shit test” that a woman/wife is throwing at the man/husband. You think I have not been through that in 12 years of marriage? 🙄

    At first, when I was a young buck and we were first married, I (to my great shame) “went along to get along”. But in time I realized that was NOT sustainable long-term. At least not for me.

    So I put my foot down and began to systematically push-back. Because her mother spent her entire life emasculating and disrepecting her Beta father, she grew up with that “acceptable model” in mind, and even thought she raised herself Christian from age 11 on (her family did not go to church), she still felt it was OK to lash out at me when something upset her. I of course, did not take that well.

    In short time, because of my overly-analytical mind and my natural Italian instincts, I realized that what the ManoSphere now calls “Amused Mastery” was just what worked best and if it failed, I escalated to “Dread”. None of this had names back then, btw. I never went as far as an affair (ultimate Dread), because that would ruin my marriage completely, but I had to instill dread and other strategies to get her under control and to re-establish dominance as needed (and we would go months without problems, then something would happen, many times relating to a phone call with her toxic mother).

    The #1 thing you must do as man/husband is HOLD FRAME. This means do NOT capitulate. Understand this is a test, she wants to see how far she can go and if you are the real McCoy or will simply cave. No matter what happens, always seem unphased by her tantrums, anger, threats, etc. When she sees her tantrum/threat does not work, she will quickly look for other ways to deal with issues.

    Then you need to show her there are consequences to her bad behavior. Step #2 is to either use Amused Mastery (everything she does is cute, etc) or Dread, Mastery first, if does not respond well, move to Dread immediately. You need to be able to “dose” how you apply either Mastery or Dread correctly because too much will send the patient (woman) into shock (hate for the man over time), cardiac arrest (adultery), or death (divorce). You want to test her tolerance to either “medication” as you go.

    You do not want to break her down into tears every time you have a fight or it will destroy her and your marriage next. You need to dose the response…. the worst her behavior, the higher the dose of Mastery or Dread needs to be applied. This also helps with her training and conditioning.

    Start with Amused Mastery first, take her tantrums as “cute”. Say things like “you are cute when you get upset” and when she reacts even angrier to you dimissing her and she says “this is not cute, you are being a jerk, etc etc” just say lightheartedly “see, there it is again”. Women CAN be trained, contrary to what feminism teaches us. Many times, simply using Mastery and not taking her tantrums seriously fixed everything in my own relationships with women and later a 12-year marriage.

    If she does not correct her behavior with Mastery, you will need to instill Dread. This is a darker approach then Mastery because Mastery allows you to be funny, sarcastic, and even kind even when taking a swipe at her (like “Negs”, a compliment that is actually an insult to get her to lower her BitchShield). Dread is an escalation, because now you are on Offense. Mastery is a Defuse tactic.

    No matter what. Holding Frame is key. Mastery is a step-up from Holding Frame… so Frame makes you immune/no reaction to her tantrums and Mastery allows you to defuse her bed behavior (i.e. “wake-up calls” or ultimatums) to to get your relationship to move on from tantrums/bad behaviors and make them seem ineffective.

    The issue is: if you have been with a woman (married or not) say 2 or more years, and she has been walking all over you from Day 1, you are in real trouble here. It will be VERY hard to turn that ship around. But it is doable, but it will be a massive storm in your life until you can turn the ship around. If you are dating a woman in that situation – LEAVE and find a new woman and do not make same mistakes. But if you are married, you might need/want to endure the storm, but unless you fix her bad behaviors and re-establish a Godly chain of command (i.e. God –> Man –> Woman –> Family/country/church/etc), then you are toast. You will suffer for the rest of your life. .

    But if like the clown who admits “That was the first time that we had a public exchange of the children, and that hit me like a ton of bricks when I let my kids go into the arms of their Mom, and that broke me.” –> Breaking down seeing your kids go in an exchange = LOSING FRAME!!! She won, game over idiot. 🙄 Prepare to be banged with a strap-on next, clueless Beta man! 😡

    If the guy held frame, because they are separated already, he would have done the opposite. He would have shown he did not care about his kids and see if he could “not see them more often” because he had “a lot going on lately”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When asked what is going on, he should have been completely vague “just some things I am working on”. Never answer directly – women prefer vague anyway (that is why they always want to be surprised for their birthday and whatnot). In my example above, showing the kids are not longer a bargaining chip would have instilled Dread on her. Her ploy to “take his kids” or make sure he did not get laid and got desperate would have back-fired. If he does not want the kids anymore, she lost that bargaining chip.

    This is basic negotiating 101. If you do not show interest in something specific the other side thought you “had to have”, then that is off the table as negotiating tool. I have actually seen this done by a divorce lawyer, he would tell his client to threaten (subtly) move away 500+ miles, so she has full-time legal obligations with kids, the woman often came to the negotiating table. She wants her weekends to go out and get drunk and get pumped ‘n dumped, she does not want to are for kids 24/7. This is even more so when she has no family nearby. She wants the man to share the load, to be her emergency baby-sitter when she wants to go out with her girlfriends or get pumped ‘n dumped by some asshole Alpha. Most women are for themselves first, kids are second, even if they say otherwise.

    Take the bargaining chip off the table and change the negotiating position. That is what Holding Frame + Master/Dread does. You change the dynamics of the relationship.

    Beta/Gamma husbands are basically doomed here. They capitulate so often in no time, the wife will browbeat the husband so often and so much, he will tolerate any of her tantrums, moods, disrespect (especially in public so the man is even more emasculated), and abuse, it will all blend into the background. Cheating and/or divorce by the woman is almost certain. Women who disrespect men get tired of the man’s weakness and cheat/divorce them without any qualms.

    Alpha males like myself will put up with a woman’s bad behavior in the early stages of the marriage and then will quickly being to pushback and get the relationship fixed and turned around, because Alphas have low tolerance for women’s bad behavior, no matter how much we try to “go along to get along” early on. But it will not work long term, not if you want to have a successful and happy marriage. Again, I am speaking from personal experience here.

    Change is hard. Getting the power-dynamics of a relationship fixed is not easy if the woman gets away with bad behaviors long enough (the more she gets away with it, the worse it is). Yes, it will take some willpower and some balls; not budging to her antics no matter her tantrum, to hold frame regardless, and then to apply techniques to correct behavior.

    I am not speaking from a place of ignorance or bias; I am speaking from experience here. I still have to do this today when I am dating some woman for more than a couple months. Once you change the dynamics of a relationship and see how much better your life (and marriage) can be. 🙂

  80. Pingback: Unless the men are *Christian*. | Dalrock

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