Lori Alexander set the Christian Feminists clucking with her recent post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos. The furious response was entirely predictable precisely because what Lori wrote is true. Feminists can’t stand the idea of giving young women good advice on how to compete for the best husbands, as this puts the feminist dream of having it all in jeopardy.
Sheila Gregoire was as mad as a wet hen when she read Lori’s post and responded with a post of her own:
is it a good idea to wait until you’re married to have sex? Yes, it is. It’s certainly what God wants, but I believe He wants that for our good, not because He’s just making a rule.
That being said, virginity is not the be all and end all.And, in fact, ultimately virginity means nothing. It’s just a pile of horse manure.
I’ve answered the question on the blog before about “is it wrong to want to marry a virgin?”, and I think if I were to answer that today I’d be even more adamant.
Sheila also objected to Lori warning young Christian women of the dangers of the secular university:
Yesterday my daughter Rebecca and my son-in-law Connor celebrated their third anniversary. Here they are at Rebecca’s university graduation (Lori Alexander says women shouldn’t go to secular universities, either. Whoops. Guess Rebecca messed up there, too!)
Yet Sheila knows all too well that what Lori is warning is true. As she explained back in 2011, her feminist education wreaked havoc on her marriage:
…I’ve done a Masters in Sociology with an emphasis on Women’s Studies, too. I’ve read all that feminist literature that calls all sex rape, and while it totally messed up my sex life in the early part of my marriage, I’ve thankfully been able to leave it behind and realize how great sex in marriage is.
Sheila went into more detail on this in one of her books:
Whenever Keith wanted to make love, I felt rejected, because he wanted something that made me miserable. My frustration finally grew to the point where I wondered, Why can’t he just love me for me and not for what I can do for him? I accused him of selfishness. Of not loving me. Of being a Neanderthal who couldn’t control his passions. The more we fought over sex, the more certain I became that he didn’t value me…
…how was I supposed to enjoy something so gross and uncomfortable?
…the only solution I could see was to make Keith want sex less. I threw my energy into that dead-end goal: I bought a wardrobe of long flannel nightgowns; I complained constantly about headaches; and I stopped kissing in all its forms.
Sheila says she did this for two years before she started working on her own mindset. A few more years later and she tells us that everything was fine. However, we know from her blog that it still wasn’t fine.
Sheila closes her post with:
Neither of my girls followed Lori’s advice. But they did follow mine. And they’re all doing great.
To emphasis how sensible and well adjusted her daughters are, Sheila included a youtube video of her daughter Katie having a full fledged meltdown: