Links to posts for Christian husbands.

In response to Winning her over without a word. Larry Kummer of Fabius Maximus asked:

This is great commentary. For those of us unfamiliar with these discussions among modern conservative Christians, have you written about how these men should act in marriage — realistically, given today’s circumstances? That is, when married to a modern American women.

I haven’t written much in the form of specific instructions for husbands, but I have written a fair amount about the mind frame a Christian husband should have.  The following posts come to mind:

    • Hostage negotiator for life? is a short introduction into the topic.
    • Headship Game. gives some more detail, with a focus on aligning the concept of Game with the biblical role of headship and providing a framework to consider when a given Game practice is consistent with biblical headship.
    • Radio Silence and Dread discusses the topic of dread game and the problems with the concept.  In short, the problem with dread game is not specifically dread, but (potentially) the mechanism used to create it.
    • Slow your roll is a response to readers who missed the point of Radio Silence and Dread, and also includes some suggestions for a specific blogger who was dealing with an especially rebellious Christian wife.
    • From Cane Caldo:  Tacomaster desires steadfast love.
    • Reframing Christian Marriage (with links to the rest of the series at the bottom).

Less directly related to the question but potentially helpful posts to help a Christian husband maintain frame are:

To understand the tools feminists are using to defeat headship:

I’m sure readers will share other resources in the comments, both from this blog and from other sources.

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24 Responses to Links to posts for Christian husbands.

  1. Pingback: Links to posts for Christian husbands. | @the_arv

  2. AnonS says:

    Move your assets to a Nevada Asset Protection Trust, can’t be taken by spouses.

    Reduce your spending to below the average level.

  3. Lovekraft says:

    I found this blog to be very informative:

    http://shrink4men.com/blog/

    Not Christianity-focused, but written from a woman’s perspective (so she may have more insight into female nature) in a no-holds-barred manner.

  4. Cynic says:

    Dread game is a very useful and yet tricky thing to do in a marriage. A King’s Castle has a good series of using The 12 Levels of Dread in marriage. The site is dedicated to edifying and exhorting husbands and fathers using Christian, Masculine, and Red-Pill techniques.

    The introduction for The 12 Levels of Dread is here:
    https://www.akingscastle.com/2017/02/20/the-12-levels-of-dread-introduction/
    The rest of the series should be in the related articles.

    Disclaimer: I am one of the trifounders of A King’s Castle.

  5. Great post. This overflows with useful material. The very first post on the list was one of the most depressing things I’ve read about modern marriage (an impressive accomplishment given the gloomy nature of my writing). I’m afraid to move to the second on the list!

    Hostage negotiator for life?
    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/09/08/hostage-negotiator-for-life/

    Please begin your series about solutions, or even just recommendations! I would pitch in and help, but haven’t a clue even where to start. I can help with the easy stuff, like explaining why most of the standard recommendations won’t work.

  6. Bee says:

    Larry Kummer,

    Check out this comment:

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/02/28/winning-her-over-without-a-word/#comment-260684

    Do a search for Game at Hawaiian Libertarian’s blog:

    https://hawaiianlibertarian.blogspot.com/search?q=Game

    His quotes from John Ross are good for guys that are dating:

    https://hawaiianlibertarian.blogspot.com/search?q=Ross

    Dave from Hawaii on Agree & Amplify and Shit Tests was eye opening for me. Also, very practical:

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/

    Poon Commandment 15 helped me manage my wife’s emotional storms:

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

    Deep Strength has some great stuff on vetting:

    https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/?s=Vett

    Athol Kay was where I got the idea to slowly raise my Alpha. His blog seems to have changed its focus, I am not sure how good his newer info is:

    http://atholkay.com/

    After I had been married about 18 years my wife and I put sex on the weekly schedule. We both agreed to have sex every other day. We both went to the bed at the same time each night. Sex nights we started to the bedroom 30 minutes earlier than other nights. It was great for us, we should have done it from the beginning.

  7. American says:

    Doesn’t need to be complicated. Never having the problem is the simplest solution. -MGTOW

  8. Anonymous Reader says:

    Larry Kummer
    Hostage negotiator for life?

    Yes.
    That article is over 7 years old.

  9. Anonymous,

    I’ve been writing about the gender wars for six years. Some of the early ones are my favorites. For example, TV and films are mirrors in which we can more clearly see our society evolving. So I’ve written about the big romances in TV series. They often show alpha men broken by women into betas. They are tragedies. You can watch that happening now, in its late stages, to Deeks in “NCIS Los Angeles.”

    “Castle” was a huge hit with women. For fun (we’re all a little trollish) in 2014 I posted some links to my articles on “Castle” websites It was fun to read the comments as the girls went *wild*. Berserk.

    “Castle” shows us marriage in America, a fault line between our past & future.
    https://fabiusmaximus.com/2014/05/23/wedding-caslte-beckett-68342/

    Beckett shows our future: she marries Castle, but dreams at night of her alpha lovers.
    https://fabiusmaximus.com/2014/11/23/tv-castle-romance-sex-marriage-72993/

  10. Pingback: Links to posts for Christian husbands. | Reaction Times

  11. Following up Dalrock’s comment about finding solutions for young men –

    It is easy but ineffective to talk about theory in dating and marriage. Too abstract, too dry. TV and films give us specific situations familiar to many Americans. They allow us to write better endings for these men and women than those given us by bien pensant Hollywood leftists. Inspiring endings. Here is an example of this genre. We need more.

    “Castle” was about a brilliant, handsome and successful alpha man (played by Nathan Fillion). His partner slowly breaks him. Soon before the big storybook wedding he has a revelation about her nature (lying slut) and his (becoming beta). What should he do? Here is my recommendation. It got over 100,000 pageviews, by far my biggest hit.

    https://fabiusmaximus.com/2014/05/15/castle-solution-68128/

  12. The first thing Christians need to understand is that marriage is not “sacred.” There are multiple sources of scripture indicating that the state institution of marriage in not the best. This differs from the natural attraction and relationship God did create. The discussions on marriage in the NT aren’t rules but keys to understannding. They basically ammount to “your wife will act “this way” if she doesn’t act “this way,” guess what she’s not your wife.”

    State instituted marriage is simply another example of men believing they can improve upon a creation of God. It’s just like bulldozing and monoculturing land. That land supported diverse wildlife for thousands of years. It ten years it’ll be dead unless you pump it full of pharma-chemicals.

  13. CSI says:

    I read that 2013 post “A Tale of Two Beaches”. Sheila Gregoires’s old article “Men: Here’s What I Wish I Could Say to You About Sex” has a bit of truth mixed on with, but fundamentally its just a list of excuses to get out sex with your husband. She was overcomplicating it. A wife should just put all her concerns and resentments aside and have sex with her husband. Simple.

    Dalrock uses an analogy of these steps as storming a beach at D-Day. You could also use an analogy of old magical rituals, such as those for turning lead into gold, with multiple elaborate steps which are easy to fail. In Sheila’s article, convincing your wife to have sex is like a similar ritual. You have to go through elaborate steps of telling her she’s beautiful, tell her you love her enough, touch her without any impure thoughts, do lots of housework. don’t look at any racy images, talk with her for at least an hour, and several others. Fail a single step, then you have to to start from scratch. No sex you for that week.

  14. Gary Eden says:

    Not only is marriage not sacred, the word doesn’t even exist in the Ancient Hebrew of the Old Testament. Nor did ‘husband’ or ‘wife’. Start digging into the original meanings of those words and God’s original plan for marriage and you’ll uncover something at once radically different and more tuned to God’s creation than the modern substitute.

  15. Boxer says:

    You have to go through elaborate steps of telling her she’s beautiful, tell her you love her enough, touch her without any impure thoughts, do lots of housework. don’t look at any racy images, talk with her for at least an hour, and several others. Fail a single step, then you have to to start from scratch. No sex you for that week.

    Is your wife aware that women (many more attractive than she) can be found at the local coffee house / night club / laundromat / &c., who are willing to have sex with you within a couple of hours of meeting?

  16. feeriker says:

    Is your wife aware that women (many more attractive than she) can be found at the local coffee house / night club / laundromat / &c., who are willing to have sex with you within a couple of hours of meeting?

    Women’s selfish, solipsistic nature never allows them to seriously consider this reality. That why it destroys them completely when it becomes reality.

  17. Men and women should be aware of the alternatives to marriage for both men and women. We know the alt for men — sports, drugs, booze, leisure time, video games, Game, etc.

    Here is a look at life for many women, post-wall. She says her cat is her “destiny”. She has spent many hours teaching it simple tricks. This is beyond sad. It is pitiful.

  18. Anonymous Reader says:

    Larry Kummer
    Men and women should be aware of the alternatives to marriage for both men and women. We know the alt for men — sports, drugs, booze, leisure time, video games, Game, etc.

    C’mon, the world is full of “peter pan manboys who won’t grow up!” tirades from feminists and traditional conservatives. We are constantly bombarded with the whole “Look at what men are doing instead of ManningUP and marrying!” propaganda campaign. Any alternatives to marriage for women, including lesbianism, are all men’s fault anyway, right? That’s what the MSM tells us.

    With regard to Game, you are confused. Game is not an alternative to marriage, it is increasingly essential for marriage. Probably you have conflated Game with PUA’s, that is sloppy thinking. There are married men on this and other blogs who Game their wives with good results (some may choose to call it something else, but the label is irrelevant, the actions and mindset are what matter).

    You also left out visual porn (soon to include VR) and sexbots as alternatives, especially for the MGTOW’s.

    Women and their cats is a standard meme in the androsphere. Perhaps you should read some of Rollo Tomassi’s articles and get up to speed on these things? Start with his chart of female SMV vs. male SMV and what that implies. Welcome to the party…

  19. Gunner Q says:

    Larry Kummer, Editor @ 12:23 pm:
    “Men and women should be aware of the alternatives to marriage for both men and women. We know the alt for men — sports, drugs, booze, leisure time, video games, Game, etc.”

    If the alternative to marriage is playing with friends then marriage is a prison for the innocent. Which it is.

    There’s no Christian way to do Marriage 2.0. There isn’t supposed to be. The reason Marriage 2.0 was created at all was to ruin God’s design of Marriage 1.0… what we call patriarchy. There are tricks to shift the odds with but no matter what you do, wifey will be in the driver’s seat.

    “Here is a look at life for many women, post-wall. … This is beyond sad. It is pitiful.”

    It’s beautiful. It’s justice. She ended up that way because she chose to ride the cock carousel instead of submitting to a decent husband & domestic life. She chose her fate, not you, me or Uncle Sam. I only hope she dies of toxokitty plasmosis or whatever before she calls for the death and enslavement of all the men who no longer desire her wart-crusted ass.

  20. The reason Marriage 2.0 was created at all was to ruin God’s design of Marriage 1.0…

    God did not create marriage 1.0 either.

  21. Anonymous Reader.

    Most of your rebutta is irrelevant to what I said.

    “You also left out …”

    That’s why I ended with “etc”. It was a brief comment, not the Britannica entry on “Alternatives to marriage for men.”

  22. Written a bunch of stuff. Most important are probably the “framework” part of this page:

    https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/categorized-list-of-posts/

    Everything from understanding authority, what the Bible says about husbands and wives and how to act toward each other, and exposing a lot of the lies of the culture and subversion of culture into Christianity.

  23. Pingback: This Week In Reaction (2018/03/04) - Social Matter

  24. Pingback: An expert looks at the gender wars & sees wonders ahead!

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