The Angry Therapist wants kids these days to get off his lawn*, and bang hos the right way. When you bang a ho, treat her like a lady:
When I was in my twenties and had a date, this is what I would do. I would wake up early like it was Christmas and wash my car. Hand wash. None of this driving through a machine bullshit. Then I would hand pick the the songs I wanted to play and load the CDs into my six disc changer in the trunk. Then I would go workout so I felt good about myself. Then I would drive to the movie theater to buy the tickets in advance so we wouldn’t have to wait in line (this was before the internet). And of course, dinner reservations were already made. After getting ready, I would pick her up from her apartment. I would park my car, walk to the door, and knock. I would compliment her appearance and mean it as we walked to my car. I would open the door for her. And if there was a spark and things went well on the date, she’d get flowers or a note or something she can actually hold in the next few days.
This was a magic ritual, that made banging hos moral. Like all conservatives, The Angry Therapist wants to recapture the better days of our past.
If you’re a male in your twenties, you may read this and think, “Wow, what a loser.” Well, okay. But this process is what made dating fun, exciting, romantic, and fulfilling. It made the date a mini event, something to look forward to. It wasn’t just about the person. It was about the whole date experience.
What we need is for men to treat hos with chivalry:
Plan something. Set an intention. Put your best foot forward. Because they are too and it’s your job to set the tone. You don’t have to hand wash your car or put a playlist together. But Jesus, open a door. Engage. Ask questions. Be interested and interesting. Order dessert together. Pick up the check. Effort. Effort. Effort. Put some into it. You get back what you put in.
The Angry Therapist has misdiagnosed the problem. He thinks technology has cheapened the process of banging hos. He doesn’t realize that banging hos should never have been treated like courtship in the first place. Just like the trunk mounted CD changer, the idea he is trying to recover (chivalrously courting hos) only lasted for a short period because it was never a good idea. It is this fundamental misunderstanding that made The Angry Therapist so angry to begin with.