When women first began attending the U.S. Naval Academy in 1976, many observers foolishly asked “What’s the point?” While progress at times may have seemed imperceptibly slow, the naysayers have been proven wrong. We now have a steady stream of victories, lead by a new breed of warrior who brought priorities the Navy had previously never dreamed of. Now, with the U.S. Navy’s newest aircraft carrier, these warriors have finally achieved full freedom of navigation by depriving the enemy of their last last toehold on the open seas:
The new aircraft carrier Gerald R. Ford has all sorts of high-tech gear equipped for 21st century naval warfare. But there is one thing that male sailors will notice is no longer available: Urinals.
“This is designed to give the ship flexibility because there aren’t any berthing areas that are dedicated to one sex or the other,” Operations Specialist 1st Class Kaylea Motsenbocker told Navy Times
…urinals on aircraft carriers may be a thing of the past.
This long fought battle was not without significant cost, as marking all spaces on our warships as feminine came at the cost of both money and less important (war-fighting) priorities:
When he is designing a bathroom, Kaufman says he is required to allot around 1,500 square inches of space for a urinal. A toilet needs more than 3,300 square inches.
For a ship like the Ford, which cost upwards of $13 billion, every inch of space matters tremendously.
“Why would you want the ship to be bigger just for fixtures?” said Kaufman. “You can get twice as many urinals as water closets.”
But the brave social justice warriors who brought us the urinal free warship can’t rest now. As is the nature of war, each new victory sets the stage for the next battle:
“[A toilet is] by far a less clean environment than a urinal. By far,”…
The only way to ensure men accurately aim into a toilet bowl is to force men to sit down, which is unlikely to happen, said Kaufman.
Moreover, sitting down to pee makes trips to the bathroom take longer.
Kaufman lacks faith in these warriors, but I do not.
Changes in the theater of battle also affect civilian supporters. I have received unofficial confirmation from my sources in the CBMW that their leadership is furious that the men of the U.S. Navy are making brave women sit down to pee in their place:
When will these cowardly men learn to stand up and sit down to pee?