The other day a woman mentioned her frustration with smartphones to my wife. The woman’s complaint was that her husband would play or read on his smartphone while she browses through stores. My wife asked why that was bad, and the woman explained:
Because now he isn’t miserable.
This is an example of what I’ve termed punishing with her presence, and a Game lesson that should be easy for men to grasp if they can make it past their own denial. If it seems like your wife wants to spend time with you for no other reason than to make you miserable, that is almost certainly what is going on. Yet the concept is so illogical and foreign to men’s thinking that few men will recognize it.
If you can get past your own denial, the appropriate response is to calmly and lovingly call out what she is doing. You aren’t doing your wife any favors by signing up for the role of henpecked husband, and in fact putting up with this will only frustrate your wife.
For another example of this kind of thinking, see the recent post by Jezebel Managing Editor Joanna Rothkopf: Chinese Mall Installs ‘Husband Pods’ for Husbands Too Lazy to Accompany Their Wives for 1 Freaking Afternoon!!!
The Telegraph, translating from state-run site the Paper, reports that the Global Harbour mall in Shanghai, China is testing this new pilot program of baby bouncers for stupid adults, in the form of four glass pods where men (or theoretically women) can go to play video games while their wives shop. God forbid they spend one minute participating in an activity that doesn’t specifically revolve around feeding them sexually, emotionally, or spiritually!!!
I bet Rothkopf is fun at parties!