In response to my last post several readers challenged my observation that Lenti is an addict of asshole game, arguing that all women are like Lenti in this regard. Damn Crackers argued:
ALL women are addicted to asshole, aloof game. It is their nature.
Likewise, theasdgamer responded:
AWALT, of course. What is there about aloof jerks that women like?
But this isn’t the case. Women don’t just respond to alpha attraction traits, they also respond to beta comfort traits. Pickup artists know this, and tailor their game to the woman they are trying to seduce. I haven’t read Heartist for some time, but I know that in the past at least this was a common theme for him. For example, he explains that a woman who is a lawyer needs maximum jerk game in What A Girl’s Job Tells You (language warning on this and all following Heartiste links)
[Female lawyers are] Amoral alpha males with vaginas. Their yin is so deeply buried they spend all their free time (2 hours per week) fantasizing about a powerful dominant man releasing their inner woman. This is your cue to ratchet up the assholery.
It isn’t just how masculinized a woman is that determines her responsiveness to asshole game. A woman with an inflated ego will also respond well to asshole game. As Heartiste explains in Science Confirms Another Game Concept: Older Women Need Less Game (emphasis mine):
The 23-27 year old feels she is at her attractiveness peak, despite her peak having passed a few years earlier. This is because she is surrounded by many more high status men than she was while in college (or working at the Piggly Wiggly) who are expressing sexual interest in her. This social dynamic will work to inflate her ego beyond the bounds of her actual beauty ranking. Some consequences result from this.
NEG HARDER. The 23-27 year old will require harder negging than any other age group of women, even the hotter 18 year olds.
Conversely, try asshole game on a woman who has been humbled and you will drive her away:
So if you want to bang broads teetering on the edge of witherdom with kids and marriage and college funds dancing in their dreams, go easy on the cocky and funny and the negs. The older woman’s ego has taken enough of a bruising from the encroachment of reality; your negs will only push her into self-flagellating withdrawal or indignant lashing out. She needs to know she still has the kind of looks that can turn heads, so your cloying flattery will work wonders on her.
On the other hand, if you want to date hot girls in their 20s and, for a lucky few of them, early 30s, you have to give ’em a bit of the ol’ ultrabadness. It’s the moral thing to do, if women’s pleasure is your business.
Executive Summary: Young women are harder lays. They require game and a cocky attitude. Older women are easier lays. They require flowers, compliments and cuddles.
A woman’s mindframe matters as well, as he explains in Tough Times Are A Bounty For Betas:
In short, women who thought about their own death suddenly found feminized beta providers a lot more attractive than masculine alpha cads. This preference was largest for ovulating women, who normally show the exact opposite preference when times are good and death is a faraway abstraction.
Keep in mind that asshole game is Heartist’s stock in trade, his trademark. Yet even Heartiste is aware that not all women are seeking asshole game. This doesn’t trouble him at all, because the women he wants the most, the youngest and hottest, tend to respond quite well to his preferred style.
Getting back to Lenti, she is an extreme outlier. Her career didn’t just masculinze her, but it put her in the orbit of powerful attractive men (emphasis mine):
My life was great on paper. I had done all the right things. I went to Stanford for graduate school. I worked at the White House under Condoleezza Rice. I had the opportunity to travel the world.
All of this maximized both her ego and her craving for excitement. She required nothing in the way of beta comfort:
At the time, I was in a terrible relationship with a man who told me he wanted to be with me, but he could never love me.
Conspiciously absent in her story is any talk of the man she mistakenly left because she thought she could do better. Contrast this with Kate Bolick’s Atlantic piece All the Single Ladies, where Bolick opens with her regret that she rode the carousel for too long, and should have instead stayed with the great catch she rejected when she was 28:
In 2001, when I was 28, I broke up with my boyfriend. Allan and I had been together for three years, and there was no good reason to end things. He was (and remains) an exceptional person, intelligent, good-looking, loyal, kind. My friends, many of whom were married or in marriage-track relationships, were bewildered. I was bewildered. To account for my behavior, all I had were two intangible yet undeniable convictions: something was missing; I wasn’t ready to settle down.
The period that followed was awful. I barely ate for sobbing all the time… On bad days, I feared I would be alone forever. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life?
Ten years later, I occasionally ask myself the same question.
This is entirely missing from Lenti’s story. There is no hand wringing of should she have settled for the boring loyal dude who loved her instead of heading off in search of more excitement before settling down. Instead, Lenti describes herself as “unlovable”, having experienced a lifetime of rejection and infidelity:
…I can honestly write that I have no expectations for love, and I certainly do not believe that there is a father out there for my sons. I am not waiting and hoping, because I have lost that hope.
Lenti’s need for dark triad traits is extreme. Even post wall after a lifetime of rejection, she threw herself into one time hookups with strange men. She was still seeking pure alpha asshole, at an age where as Heartiste has observed nearly all women are strongly seeking beta comfort. She tells us the men she had sex with when she was 38 rejected her over and over, without even texting her the next day:
Dating amounted to small talk with a stranger, who you had briefly interfaced with online because you each thought the other attractive. The small talk was a prelude to hooking up, and there were no expectations even of a text the next day.
It was brutal. And after trying my hand at it, I was no closer to finding the love of my life or starting a family.
Even as a single mother over 40, she clearly is still seeking out men who pump and dump her:
Why have I lost that hope? Truth be told, I have been vulnerable with a few men pre- and post-pregnancy. But rejection upon rejection by man after man will do it to you.
Conventional wisdom is that women like Lenti lack self esteem, but as she explains, only the most attractive men meet her demanding standards:
And so I began my search with a focus on the physical attributes that I have always been attracted to — namely height and athleticism. Six-foot-2 and toned was my baseline.