The Daily Mail has an article about a 53 year old new divorcée named “Claire” who learned the hard way that her fantasy of divorce empowerment was just a fantasy. Claire of course didn’t ditch her boring loyal dude in hopes of finding her secret multimillionaire hunky handyman; instead she tells us that he left her after she made it clear that she didn’t want to remain married to him:
‘Bye then,’ she said, as he walked out of the door and out of her life
Though shocked and hurt, Claire, a 53-year-old travel agent from Colchester, Essex, admits part of her was excited at the thought of being single again.
While she loved her husband, like most couples in long marriages, she felt they had become a little staid and set in their ways. Their sex life was hardly the firework display of their 20s, and sometimes she’d look over at this snoring, paunchy, greying man on the other side of the bed and wonder: ‘Is this it?’
Now that Claire has experienced the realities of the SMP, she wishes she could go back and do it differently:
To Claire, it sounded like a different world; a sweet shop filled with thrills and excitement, all available at her fingertips. Just the pick-me-up she needed.
Sadly, six months later, Claire would do anything to be back in the marital home, listening for the sound of her husband’s key in the door.
…she’d be the first to warn any married woman secretly thinking the grass might be greener on the other side to stay firmly where she is.
One of the most brutal hallmarks of older women’s declining SMP power is how open men are about seeing them as good for a quick lay, but not worthy of investment/commitment.
Claire says: ‘I’d hoped to meet some decent men in their 50s, someone with whom I could enjoy a conversation or a meal out.
‘But it was horrendous and I’ve found that it’s zapped my confidence and made me feel a lot more anxious about the future.
‘I’ve been shocked by the number of men who think it’s acceptable to send you pictures of their private parts.
‘What I find particularly depressing is that these men think that’s what women today have been reduced to — that it’s a normal way to speak to a woman in 2017.
Another late life divorcée named Cath describes the same dynamic:
Mike, a 49-year-old mechanic, cut straight to the chase. He pointed out that we were no more than a couple of minutes apart.
‘On my lunch break,’ he messaged. ‘Do you fancy meeting up for a bit of fun?’
The Daily Mail brought in an expert who explained the realities of Rollo’s SMP Chart (emphasis mine):
Marital therapist Andrew Marshall, author of It’s Not A Midlife Crisis, It’s An Opportunity, says he has been seeing more and more women like Claire, bored with their marriages and tempted by one ‘last hurrah’ in the seemingly exciting world of internet dating.
Yet the reality of starting again on the dating scene, 30-plus years after they left it, rarely lives up to the expectation, says Mr Marshall.
‘For any woman whose last experience of meeting partners was many years ago via friends, work or in a nightclub, she will find the dating landscape has changed considerably — and not in her favour,’ says Mr Marshall. ‘Because, though dating sites offer the prospect of meeting thousands of men, the power dynamic has shifted once you’re an older woman.
Check out the full article at the Daily Mail for much more.