Go.

I am inspired by the immense wisdom of Sugar to write to all of the married men who want to break up their families but lack the courage to do what their heart is screaming is right.  Go.  Do it for God.  Do it for you.  Do it for your children, for what are you teaching them if you lack the courage to follow your dreams?  Do it to inspire other fathers to model courage and righteousness to their own children.   But for whatever reason you do it, the important thing is that you summon the courage to do what is right:

Go, even though you love her.
Go, even though she is kind and faithful and dear to you.
Go, even though she’s your best friend and you’re hers.
Go, even though you can’t imagine your life without her.
Go, even though she adores you and your leaving will devastate her.
Go, even though your friends will be disappointed or surprised or pissed off or all three.
Go, even though you once said you would stay.
Go, even though you’re afraid of being alone.
Go, even though you’re sure no one will ever love you as well as she does.
Go, even though there is nowhere to go.
Go, even though you don’t know exactly why you can’t stay.
Go, because you want to.
Because wanting to leave is enough.

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This entry was posted in Cheryl Strayed, Satire, selling divorce, Whispers. Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Go.

  1. Frank K says:

    Candy’s “wisdom” reminds me of the SNL “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” skits.

    Flipping the genders definitely reveals the absurdity of this “common wisdom”, as it often does for other “wisdom”.

  2. key says:

    absolute brilliance dalrock

  3. thedeti says:

    Be true to yourselves, dudes. And love yourselves.

    For not being true to yourself, and having low self esteem, are the greatest sins you can commit.

  4. Major Styles says:

    Go…because divorce rape is not as bad as it sounds.

  5. Moarman says:

    Sign me up! All my problems will soon be over. I feelz great now!

  6. Cecil Henry says:

    Virtue Signalling: This is where it gets you kids!!!

  7. Pingback: Go. | @the_arv

  8. Neo says:

    I’m pretty sure this is sarcastic. But I’m confused by how serious you appear and some comments that seem to endorse it. I’m also new. Tell me this satire.

    [D: Yes. This is satire.]

  9. Lost Patrol says:

    Go, because you want to.
    Because wanting to leave is enough you are your own god.

    Good old Dalrock. Do you ever get tired of slaying dragons with their own fire?

  10. feministhater says:

    If men were to really do this and take it to heart, the calls of ‘cowardly men’ and men abandoning their families to chase tail would reach a earth shattering crescendo. Men wouldn’t be able to do this and save face, only women can destroy their families and play the victim. Men don’t have that option.

  11. feministhater says:

    Whenever there is another article about some woman leaving her family to go find herself and everyone praises her, it should be our duty to post this list again and again and again. Whatever is good for the goose is good for the gander.

  12. Boxer says:

    Feminist Hater:

    Whenever there is another article about some woman leaving her family to go find herself and everyone praises her, it should be our duty to post this list again and again and again. Whatever is good for the goose is good for the gander.

    You should open up a twitter account, if you don’t already have one, and join the fun. You’d be good at tweaking all the right tails.

    Boxer

  13. Heidi_storage says:

    You know what I don’t get? Parents are (rightly) excoriated for abandoning their children. And yet, even a mediocre husband is a lot more helpful and a lot less trouble than, say, a toddler or a teenager. Very few husbands, after all, melt down several times a day or tell you they hate you, and even a “lazy” husband is unlikely to be creating nearly as much work as is a small child. Plus, husbands give you sex! So if you’re going to chuck out a family member, why not make it your kids? You’re arguably doing them as much harm by ejecting their father, anyway….

  14. mgtowhorseman says:

    Go.
    she hints about marriage.
    just go.
    where did the good guys go?
    gone

  15. mgtowhorseman says:

    its all in the timing

  16. stevenbrule says:

    Perhaps that’s exactly what’s needed. Give feminists exactly what they want: 7 generations without men.

  17. Carlotta says:

    When I was a professional journalist I was required to proof my own writing and it then went to at least two editors to proof for clarity, logic and adherence to professional and legal standards. It then often went to an intern to make sure anyone could understand it. Legal took it from there and then sometimes the publisher himself. It went even further if for a religious publication. So my writing had to actually be skilled and intelligent. Now, not so much.
    I find the free Internet of things has removed logic and rational thinking from most people as they have substituted real experience for likes and generational wisdom and timely consequences for group think and feelings.
    All this to say, the original writer is an abject moron and there was a time when evena hormonal and angst ridden, esl, learning disability challenged fifth grader could have rebutted this with glee.
    Dalrock did it well, sad he had too….cue the outrage!

  18. bob k. mando says:

    you notice how much of the Feminine outlook is obsessed with tearing down and destroying things?

    and why?

    because they can.

    and it’s so much more dramatic this way.

  19. Robert What? says:

    I get it, but in today’s world, unfortunately, she gets the cash, prizes and kids regardless of who decides to Go.

  20. Trust says:

    @Frank K says: Flipping the genders definitely reveals the absurdity of this “common wisdom”, as it often does for other “wisdom”
    ____________

    Sometimes, just for fun, when a song by a woman is on the radio, I imagine a man’s voice to it. It’s amazing how often it smacks of arrogance when imagined in a man’s voice.

  21. Dalrock says:

    @Robert What?

    I get it, but in today’s world, unfortunately, she gets the cash, prizes and kids regardless of who decides to Go.

    I don’t think you do.

  22. Sean says:

    Go because providing for her and your children is a social construct.

  23. Cane Caldo says:

    Go where? There’s just us; just more men out there. It’s like the whore mission statement.

  24. Disillusioned says:

    It is beyond me why people would want to do something that they really dont want to do. Something that will hurt them and all those around them.

    In the OT they would be stoned to death.

    Nowdays they are just stoned.

  25. Melmoth says:

    Amazing that it’s satire merely by flipping the genders. Laughable for men. Flip them back to that ‘poet’s’ original verses and there’s no sense of satire. For females, it’s immediately back to the height of sacrosanct wisdom and advice.

    “Because wanting to is enough”

    That might be the most supremely arrogant sentiment you could ever come up with using only five words. Above all laws, morals, learned social behavior etc.

    “Wanting to ____ is enough” (For people in positions of unchecked, supreme power, wired for 100% solipsism) That’s something a true King can say. The poet didn’t know it but that ending statement is just her acknowledging and crowing about her dictator’s level of power and her unapologetic abuse of it. It’s not nearly the woo-woo, turquoise pendant wearing, incense-y, affirmation chant stuff that she thinks it is.

    That’s using ‘want’ as a justification, not merely a motive. There’s all kinds of difference there. One is just old-fashioned bad behavior and selfishness, the other is thinking you are entitled to rewrite timeless, universal laws with every step you take.

    You might want to rob a bank because you want that money. You know it’s wrong but, dammit, you want some money.

    This Poet Mugabe would rob a bank, and just her act of robbing the bank would make it the right to do.

  26. Pingback: Go. | Reaction Times

  27. Remove all of those Go’s and suddenly we have the makings of an eloquent and poetic suicide note.

  28. entrecienciasypoesias says:

    Reblogged this on entrecienciasypoesias.

  29. Darwinian Arminian says:

    @Neo
    I’m pretty sure this is sarcastic. But I’m confused by how serious you appear and some comments that seem to endorse it. I’m also new. Tell me this satire.

    Forget Dalrock’s version; I’m still having a hard time believing that the original doesn’t exist to be some kind of giant joke. Could someone please tell me this isn’t just a massive shit test that she’s pulling in order to see if someone will be willing to try and stop her? She pretty much lists all the reasons why it’d hurt her family to leave, why it’d hurt her as well, why there’s no just reason to do so, and why she already knows she’ll regret going — but then says she will just because she wants to right now. It’s almost like the devil on her shoulder knocked her out and then sat down to write this for her.

    Just imagine the possibilities if you applied this sort of poetic reasoning to other “tough decisions:”

    BURN IT, even though it’s a pile of fifty million dollars.
    BURN IT, even though it’s an abandoned stack of cash that no one has claimed.
    BURN IT, even though your dog is sitting on top of the money.
    BURN IT, even though you’d just been wondering how you were going to pay your mortgage.
    BURN IT, even though you’re kids haven’t eaten in days.
    BURN IT, even though there’s now a 90 year mandatory minimum sentence for arson.
    BURN IT, even though you’re currently soaked in gasoline.
    BURN IT, because you want to.
    And wanting to watch the world burn is enough.

  30. SnapperTrx says:

    Time to bust out photoshop and put these words in front of some partially blurred image of a young man looking out over an open horizon. Perfect for Facebook posts, particularly in response to the silly woman junk we see every day.

  31. Mark MacIntye says:

    “Go because you want to.”

    Interesting that when you flip the genders I can’t imagine a man who would say the lines prior to this one and then say they actually want to leave. You love her, she’s faithful, you can’t imagine life without her… and you want to leave? Nope. Does not compute. Literally contradictory sentiments.

    The only way women can simultaneously believe all of the statements in that doggerel is to not actually use their literal definitions.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Badda-bing!

  33. Ben Sake says:

    This is similar to a CH post: “Bizarro Salon” Awkwardly Reveals RealNews – http://wp.me/p3aTD-9HY . There’s a Chrome extension that sawps words. In this case, flipping he/she on all the “Christian” blogger sites would be quite the wake up call.

  34. Carlotta says:

    “A lack of self-preservation!”
    Grandma called it, usually used on 2 year olds.

  35. Does anyone not see the irony in Sugar going by the name Cheryl Strayed?

  36. Adam says:

    Go because as you are a man you are never expected to be responsible for your own actions.

  37. Boxer says:

    Does anyone not see the irony in Sugar going by the name Cheryl Strayed?

    Long ago I thought it was a funny pseudonym also, but we are wrong. It’s actually the bitch name.

  38. Her page says that “Strayed” has been her legal name since 1995–a name that she chose for herself.

  39. Melmoth says:

    Born Cheryl Nyland. There was nothing about her family or marriage that explains the change so I bet she changed it to catch the eye of pre-internet, pre-social media literary gatekeepers in publishing. You were just a name back then, no photo, no nothing. “Strayed” sounds sufficiently Persian or something for her writing to go from silly, adolescent, navel-gazing crap to something cultural. All of a sudden there’s some substance there, as long as a magical ethnic person wrote it and not a corn fed honky from Minnesota. This was during the 90’s when the ‘minority mafia’ in literary fiction/poetry was going full steam. Not much has changed. It was actually very shrewd of her. This is the same person who turned wrecking her children’s lives into some kind of motivational poster koan, written in cursive with a sunset backdrop. She knows how to cheat.

  40. S. Chan says:

    I strongly agree with key at 11:43 am–

    Absolute Brilliance Dalrock!

  41. Aaron M. Renn says:

    Dalrock, that’s awesome. A perfect parody of the genre. Sadly, there’s no shortage of source material.

    I wanted to pitch you and the readers on a new project I’ve started. It’s a monthly email newsletter called the Masculinist. It’s about masculinity, gender, relationships, and marriage, targeted at mainstream Christian thinking (especially the “complementarian” church leadership). It’s a strong challenge to the conventional wisdom thinking on these topics, combined with practical “news you can use” to help people improve as men. I think readers here will like it. I’m happy to send a samples to anyone who’d like one, and you can sign up here:

    http://www.urbanophile.com/masculinist/

    My contact info and background is on that web site. I’ve already got a few high profile pastors, Christian media types, funders, and even some people who have been “featured” here on this blog signed up. I’d appreciate everyone giving it a try, because I need all the help I can get on this effort. Thanks.

  42. Carlotta says:

    So, it gets worse. The idiot who wrote this is an drug addicted whore who distroyed her family on a whim and has been anonymously giving women relationship advice which this is quoting from. Seriously women, stop being so stupid!

  43. Lyn87 says:

    Aaron M. Renn,

    Subscribe to the Masculinist

    Trigger Warning: This newsletter is not a space space

    A space space?

  44. @Lyn87, thank you. I have corrected that.

  45. Snowy says:

    A short note to say thank you to Dalrock for consistently producing quality blog posts. The comments are equally awesome. I really enjoy many of the regular commenters (you know who you are) and also like hearing from the newbies too, who often end up becoming regulars. I learn a heck of a lot from you all, thank you. I honestly don’t know how Dalrock and yourselves work so tirelessly, and find the time. The amount of work you all put into it is astronomical. Many thanks to you all.

  46. Luke says:

    Where is the original stupid faithless feminist quote the OP was inspired by? I want to post it, and this OP, somewhere.

  47. Boxer says:

    Dear Fellas:

    The original work (lol) is probably not available without wasting money on one of Strayed’s books. It was first published in an insipid, ridiculous advice column, run by Strayed under the name “Dear Sugar.”

    My understanding was that Strayed was, when writing under this blackface pseudonym, pretending to be an African-American chick. When you see the utter dysfunction in the Black community, you can thank moronic feminists like this opportunistic white bitch.

    Oh, and, she’s on twitter… Just saying.

    https://twitter.com/CherylStrayed

    Regards,

    Boxer

  48. Spike says:

    Funny how men immediately sound like complete bastards when the sexes are reversed in feminist tropes.

  49. Minesweeper says:

    Would you believe its from her agony aunt column here :

    http://therumpus.net/2011/06/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-77-the-truth-that-lives-there/

    makes amazing reading if this is what passes for the female psych in the original letters asking for help.

  50. Robert What? says:

    @Dalrock,

    “I don’t think you do.”

    Then please enlighten me.

  51. The Jack Russell Terrorist says:

    Asia-Go. From the 1985 album Astra. Great song and lyrics

  52. anon says:

    “The original work (lol) is probably not available without wasting money on one of Strayed’s books. It was first published in an insipid, ridiculous advice column, run by Strayed under the name “Dear Sugar.”

    I think I found it.
    http://therumpus.net/2011/06/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-77-the-truth-that-lives-there/

  53. anon says:

    Oops…sorry just noticed Minesweeper’s link above.

  54. Red Pill Latecomer says:

    This is apparently an Indian, government sponsored, PSA:

    Pretty cool.

  55. Gordo says:

    Nyland, why would someone called Nyland want to destroy White families? Complete mystery.

  56. melmoth says:

    @Robert What?

    It’s not about what happens if a guy ‘goes.’ Dalrock was pointing out how funny it is to simply switch genders and observe how the message (or the societal reaction) changes;

    With women ‘going,’ it’s motivational poster syrup and a pedestal at huffpo. When the gender ‘going’ is male it becomes laughable because it is so unacceptable and scummy. Just like that, the same message (the exact same message, that’s the key) goes from spirit mantra, tantric, new-age, aromatherapy, staring-at-3rd-world-shacks-out-of-a-train window glory, to hilariously lame, low-life behavior, and actually really stupid behavior because why would you ‘Go’ if everything is fine? The discrepancy in gender responsibility causes the message to morph like that, right in front of your eyes, and this was a perfect way to demonstrate that. I think you were reading it too directly. There’s a different message going on here.

  57. melmoth says:

    Young Indian women are so smoking hot to me. I’ve heard guys really come down on them critically and I don’t get it. I love their faces. Here’s a more real version of that PSA. This guy didn’t get in trouble either, the girl did.

    Just go to youtube and search for ‘8 ball jacket slap’

    (Serious language warning)

    The girl was an absolutely relentless, abusive bully to this guy who did nothing. They didn’t even know each other. She assaulted him and he’d finally had enough. The worst thing in the video is how many men witnessed her bullying him and immediately came to her defense once he ended. The white-knighting was immediate even though the guy is 6’6″. Most are the short versions. She bullied him non-stop for much longer than most versions you’ll see. Still, the men defended her ‘honor’.

  58. Heidi_storage says:

    @Minesweeper/anon: Thanks for the link. Strayed’s presentation of her own selfishness and irrationality is unusually blatant. My favorite sentence: “I had biological father wounds and biological grandfather wounds and in order to heal them I needed fifty men and three good women to have sex with me.”

  59. Ilion says:

    Frank K:Flipping the genders definitely reveals the absurdity of this “common wisdom”, as it often does for other “wisdom”.

    The word you want is ‘sex’; using the leftist word ‘gender’ in place of ‘sex’ is part of the problem.

    So, let’s correct that — “Flipping the sexes definitely reveals the absurdity of this “common wisdom”, as it often does for other “wisdom”.

    Indeed, it does.

  60. Loyd says:

    This article suggests unhappy couples should stay together because unhappy couples who stick it out eventually become happier.

    http://family-studies.org/should-couples-in-unhappy-marriages-stay-together/

    But then I read this part that makes me cringe:

    A few weeks earlier, Kate had confronted me that our marriage was in trouble. I wasn’t the friend she needed me to be and unless I got my act together, our marriage would be over in a year…

    “What I really want is a friend,” she wrote. “Will I ever get it, who knows. WHO CARES.”

    Those last two words, in capitals, knocked me to the core. The despairing tone was obvious. What have I done, I thought. I’ve neglected her so badly. In my mind, it was as if a tiny switch flicked across. Suddenly, I knew I needed to make our marriage work for Kate.

    I walked next door to find a closed and distant wife. I dropped to my knees and said, “I’m so sorry. You’ve no reason to believe I will change. But I will.”

    ___

    How about Kate staying committed, honoring her marital vows and making the marriage work for you too?

    And yet the very mild statement I just wrote above is likely considered controversial by many, even (especially?) in our churches.

  61. feeriker says:

    Young Indian women are so smoking hot to me.

    Until they open up their mouths and display the full extent of their arrogance, at which point they might as well be obese Godzila clones.

    Seriously, I’ve never been one to stereotype, but the axiom that all stereotypes are based on some observable degree of fact applies fully in this case. I cannot think of a single Indian woman I’ve ever met who did not act as if she was royalty in whose presence mere mortal men were unworthy to stand. As I never tire of sayng, the most beautiful woman in the world could be standing five feet in front of me, her eyes locked onto mine, but the moment she opens her mouth and utters anything typical of the modern western woman, she immediatetly turns into this.

  62. Pingback: A god we must obey. | Dalrock

  63. cynthia says:

    Leaving a relationship because you want to doesn’t exempt you from your obligation to be a decent human being. You can leave and still be a compassionate friend to your partner.

    These are the times when I am deeply embarrassed to be a woman in our modern day culture. The idiocy is so deep, it’s shocking.

  64. Anon says:

    cynthia,

    Well, you have the power to do something major, that we cannot.

    Tell MEN what you know about misandry and red-pill concepts. Yes, MEN. Don’t bother with women, but tell men what you know. Men will dismiss other men out of hand, but will listen to a woman on these matters.

    You can do what we cannot.

  65. Hmm says:

    As I was looking over the comments and the OP, this line stuck out to me:

    “Go, even though you once said you would stay.”

    If Sugar or her respondent was married, that line is actually “Go, even though you vowed you would stay.”

    There’s a world of difference, especially before God.

  66. Boxer says:

    Off Topic: A bill in the Alabama legislature would deregulate marriage.

    https://voxday.blogspot.hu/2017/02/getting-state-out-of-marriage.html

    A nice first start, but I’ll celebrate when they abolish the divorce courts and child support enforcement cops.

  67. Ofelas says:

    The Strayed’s original reminds me how some years ago, in a conversation with an acquaintance, a millennial Turkish woman, she touched somehow on her dumping (by the way, knowing quite a few details, in my book a breakup frivolous as f*ck) her first love/boyfriend, and proceeded from there to quoting a poem ‘Gitmekle gidilmiyor ki’ by Cemal Süreya (bad poet imo, plus one pathetic hero of an anecdote about a bet he made with another man, about which one of them would succeed in courting some woman, and when Süreya lost, he had to drop one letter from his surname (originally Süreyya). I’m not sure but think it was a pen name, not a real family name, which would be a disgrace proper to treat like that, but still, ehh. But I digress).
    The poem goes like ‘you never really leave, even when you leave, because your heart stays, memory stays…’, crap like that.
    I still very clearly remember the response in my gut to that situation, in that context it all felt truly obscene: the sentimental blabber of the poem, the hamster, the self-absorbed cvnt, obviously feeling oh so profound and sensitive..
    Asked her ‘Isn’t it better to stay then?’
    ‘No, it was a good thing to end it, I would be probably married with children today otherwise.’ (!!!!!)

  68. greg004 says:

    Yeah. Having tried to rationalise this woman’s advice to others to carelessly “go” and wreck their families, I wondered what kind of view of men such a woman would have to hold, or be taught by her society, and how uncaring she would have to be. Or the blindness she would have to have for others’ needs or points of view. (In contrast to the importance she puts on being “true to herself” and following her short term desires for other men who aren’t her husband.)

    The fact that this flip-side portrayal of a man / father in the same position would show how irresponsible it would be… is itself be quite shocking. How did we become so automatically programmed to think this way? So biased towards women’s “needs” over men’s… and others in the bigger picture?

    The lie, or rather her lie “We [women] are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here To Serve button has been eternally pinned” implies that men don’t also serve in their contribution to love and partnership. A blinkered view no doubt… propagated by modern feminism which hates marriage, and if you read between the lines undeniably dislikes men and sees male desire for stable family as “oppressive”… Even when women have gained so much from the service men give (and vice versa for men from women) for centuries.

    For me and probably most guys, the difficulty (or sick joke, if all this is part of western social engineering) is women’s temporary lack of need for us guys today while young and encouraged by feminists to slut around is this: we have no means to dispel that lie (that only women serve, when we in fact serve too). That our willingness to do our part could be perceived in early days as over-eager/naive or unattractive and falsely cast by feminists as somehow self-serving, akin to slave masters or creepy. The danger to society is how guys rationally react to this painful experience, which is our right to do. If offering friendship and love (rather than effective masculine flirting or sexual advances, ie. game) becomes associated in our minds with rejection or long term ruin, while doing the opposite is nothing but rewarding then our behaviour will change, thanks in part to female nature and attraction. Game versus love, game wins especially if women cannot offer us a stable and rewarding alternative in the long term. Especially if Susan Walsh and her girl-gang are waiting behind a bush to trap us with a potential divorce-after-30 for her ladies-not-in-waiting.

    In effect, if women do not come to the party and offer stable alternatives where love and children are the better choice for men who want that, what would logically follow is this: Men’s rational choice will have fulfilled / made true the lie that men by and large do not serve women too. An invisible and perpetual war slowly creeping in on us and the prospect of a stable and coherent society that might defy the social engineers.

    What an ultimate way to divide society! And conquer it.

    How does one solve this, both personally and on a societal level?

    Common sense suggests that, if encouraged, both women and men *could* exercise some form of self-restraint… Or come to other solutions. In the case of men expecting any such restraint from women, western society now seems to suggest this is wrong or “misogynistic” slut shaming… another lie. (While the lack of truth / honesty about how women quite literally love fun guys with good charisma, ie. game and looks proves at least to our minds such restraint is needed, especially for our daughters for their protection, right? Haha, but who can really say older women are any more mature or wise when it comes to men? Just saying…) In any case, guys who do well with women may prefer not to have to do what they do forever (including having to work to keep their wives enamoured of them). Many may wish that society were more restrained like in the old days; but there’s no going back. So, how does a man (or woman) create an island of calm within this sea of cross-purposes and conflicting needs or views?

    Now, in a way I’m thinking out loud cos I’m in that boat; I’m a 30s guy who’s dating, with a pretty good life and at a crossroads myself. If I were to take the high road, I’d say men and women could hope for and find someone who can see this societal war for what it is, and seek some sort of refuge together. A tough ask when women benefit immensely and are culturally programmed to think along feminist lines, but not impossible… either to find or inculcate someone with some of these truths, if you’d call it that… With what is going on politically, economically, monetarily, conspiratorially in the world I would think it nearly impossible to have a deep relationship with someone without cultivating some common ground in terms of worldview to stand apart from the world at large. And even to seek communities that do… Also, Dalrock thanks for providing your tips on how to find such a person.

    In a world of truths, lies and information wars to obscure deeper truths (and more wars of divide and conquer) the truth is treasure. And maybe so are those who seek it. Especially good women.

    As a red pill guy I almost hate to say this, but nowadays pure people in terms of personal issues, history and cultural adulteration are probably hard to find. We almost all need major reforms. Maybe we all need someone to save us from the world and ourselves. (Analogies to this exist in our culture and religion…) Men believed this about women for eons and it’s probably still true… maybe this service goes both ways. I’m going to stick with maybe for now and see…

    Thanks Dalrock for another great post. It certainly got me thinking.

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