Scott at American Dad has an excellent new post: Cartoonish Chivalry hurts daughters Scott is responding to the popular meme on social media of fathers trying to scare young men away from their daughters:
First, you can’t be serious. Set aside all the stuff you tell yourself and probably your wife about “traditional values and gender roles” or whatever. You cannot, in todays world seriously plan on carrying out any of these threats. You are puffing out your chest to “scare” off the “bad” boys, who know you are full of crap. It feels good, because all the women around you pat you on the head and nod approvingly. You have earned your cookie.
Scott contrasts this “traditional” bluster with his own view as a father who will one day be looking for a husband for his daughter.
When the time comes for her to start looking for a husband, she already knows we are interested in helping her find one and this makes her very happy. And when a young man comes around, he will not be met with a silly cartoon shotgun dad, but a father who wants to help them both succeed at what they are trying to do. We are not setting up an automatic adversarial relationship with him before we meet. I am aware that many young men will be at a very tenuous starting point in their career, development and so forth and I will approach the situation with that kind of sobriety.
The different approaches to suitors reflects the corresponding differences in roles and objectives. Scott will be looking to find a husband for his daughter, while large numbers of “traditional” men are instead hoping to delay their daughter’s marriage by acting as their daughter’s surrogate husband. A man who gives his daughter a mock wedding ring, stages mock wedding photos with her, etc. isn’t going to welcome an interloper trying to steal away his daughter-wife.
But the perversion at times goes even further. While the (hopefully unconsummated) incestuous romantic relationship has bizarrely become “traditional” under the guise of purity, very often these same fathers move from mere surrogate husband to surrogate cuckold. Many brag about their daughter’s conquests on her carousel ride, with statements like “She’s a real heartbreaker!”, and “She’s looking for a man who can keep up with her!”
With this in mind the cartoonishness of the father-cuck comes into sharper view. For all of his bluster warning the men rogering his daughter-wife to treat her as a queen, everyone knows this is just the cherry on top of the whole farce.
See also my follow up post: Romance is sexual.