Commenter Moses asks:
I want to know “What is behind this?” What forces are shaping a world where women are absolved of all agency in attracting a “man” yet feel entitled to the very best of masculinity? Why do so many pastors preach self-serving “Only real man in the room” and belittle men? Who benefits? Who makes money off it? Power?
The forces may be unconscious and spread across millions, but they are there sure as the sea is not above the clouds.
I’ve touched on this in previous posts, but this is worth restating. What we are seeing is the same pattern as the fall in Genesis. We are replaying the same temptations and sins that Adam and Eve fell to. The Serpent knew the way to tempt Eve was to make her feel like God was holding out on her, that she was getting less than she deserved. Adam knew following Eve was a sin, but chose sin over challenging his wife. It was more important to make Eve happy than to follow God.
Belittling men feels good*, and is easy. Calling out women feels terrible, and is hard. Absent concerted effort not to fall into this rut, we will slide into it. We will do what feels good and is easy over what feels terrible and is hard. It really is that simple. See Pastor Doug Wilson’s recent post related to this (HT Hmm), as well as this and this.
*It feels like courage because you are calling out your own kind, a sort of vicarious self criticism. Yet at the same time it is really a way to elevate yourself above other men, as the only real man in the room. It is cowardice and arrogance that feels like courage and humility. And again it is easy. The men you are belittling will generally go along, because it makes Eve happy.