Are you sure you aren’t unhappy?

From today’s Daily Mail, Are you subconsciously unhappy in your relationship? Expert reveals the 10 signs that prove it’s finally time to call it quits

You may be coasting along in your current relationship but have you ever stopped to ask yourself if you’re really that happy?

According to one expert, there’s ten tell-tale signs that prove you’re subconsciously unhappy with your partner and may need to break things off.

This kind of thing is of course ever present, a cacophony of whispers telling women they should be discontented.  But it is worth pointing out the secular deluge that Christian leaders are responding to when they work to create strife in marriages and tempt wives to resent their husbands. Christian leaders didn’t invent this particular wicked practice, but instead of fighting widespread evil the response from modern Christian leaders has been to join the effort.

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42 Responses to Are you sure you aren’t unhappy?

  1. DrTorch says:

    Definitely evil and perverse.

    Great question why churches aren’t working against this.

    I always liked Dobson, now I believe that much of his teaching is misguided and false, but he meant well. Nevertheless, it’s pretty clear he was teaching women to listen to and respond to these whispers, instead of condemning them and encouraging the family to focus on Biblical truth.

  2. Srkjfone says:

    If you are not happy, quite the relation. What about the promises that a husband and wife make in front of God when wedding ? Where are we headed ?

    I see now a days it more about the ring and the wedding and not the marriage.

    Who can change this ? 😦

  3. feeriker says:

    This kind of thing is of course ever present, a cacophony of whispers telling women they should be discontented.

    Silver lining to dark cloud: If you were in a relationship with a woman who was shallow and stupid enough to pay attention to these whispers and leave you, she did you one of the greatest favors of your life. A potentially lethal bullet dodged, as well as a major blessing from the Almighty.

  4. Levi Shay says:

    This sounds eerily similar to Satan’s original temptation of Eve…

    “Are you SURE you’re really happy?”

  5. Funny how there’s almost always a convenient, even number of signs. It’s never 7 signs or 31, it’s always an easy 5, 10 or a dozen.

  6. Heidi says:

    What a stupid list.

    1. You’ve lost your sparkle: Because we should all be sparkling, all of the time! Life is never hard or tragic!
    2. You’re easily irritated by your partner: Maybe try removing your own logs before inspecting your “partner’s” eye for specks?
    3. You go off sex or intimacy: How about making an effort to reconnect?
    4. You find yourself wanting to spend more time alone: What’s wrong with being alone?
    5. You stop complimenting your partner: Um, isn’t that more of a problem with you, rather than with your partner?
    6. Your level of self confidence drops: I can’t think of many worse diagnostic metrics than “self-confidence” for assessing the health of a relationship.
    7. You stop looking forward to coming home from work: Meaningless, in the absence of more context; and if home is such an unhappy place, what can you do to make it happier?
    8. You stop planning trips away with your partner: Seriously? So you’ve got small children at home and an empty bank account, let’s say, but your relationship is in the toilet unless you’re planning trips away?
    9. You take less pride in your appearance: The problem is you.
    10. You belittle your partner in front of your friends: The problem is YOU.

    Okay, actually, this list does provide a valuable takeaway: If you’re a cold, nasty person who’s constantly finding fault and incapable of tenderness or respect, you probably aren’t longterm relationship material. Let’s hope you find that out before swearing in front of God and the world that you’re going to commit to your spouse for life.

  7. Lyn87 says:

    Just how does one become a “relationship expert” whose opinions are worthy of wide dissemination? I’ve seen deeper profundity in fortune cookies.

  8. Lost Patrol says:

    I thought it was just the one sign.

    1. You are a woman.

  9. Opus says:

    Lyn 87 asks a most pertinent question: how exactly does one become a relationship expert? Happily I can I enlighten him as to Ms MacLynn (the subject of the Mail article). She appears to be in her mid to late thirties and has both Bachelor and Master degrees from the University of Northumbria (an academic establishment of which I had never previously heard) in Psychology.

    She is the founder of the Vida Consultancy, a matchmaking agency: her staff of seven are entirely female (having thus achieved 100% equality) and so far as I can see from a photo in an earlier Mail article, only two of the seven – and not Ms MacLynn – are wearing wedding bands. That hardly aids confidence does it and neither does the fact that she claimed in that earlier article or at least it was said of her that the fees (for men – ie bankers with no Game) were Twelve Thousand Pounds a year (which is even more in Dollars). One unhappy punter who said he paid Four Thousand Pounds sterling to her described it as a rip-off and said that the two women to whom he was introduced were the sort of women that he would not even look at on the street. This is entirely understandable because in that earlier article she let out the little secret that what men want in a woman is intelligence – that is surely code for the likelihood that no good looking young women are registered at her agency.

    I would suggest that by her article Ms MacLynn is trying to drum up business. With Matchmaking agencies aimed at men one always wonder whether they are covers for prostitution especially with those kind of fees.

  10. feeriker says:

    Just how does one become a “relationship expert” whose opinions are worthy of wide dissemination?

    Spew BS that tastes so much like the Milk of Healing Wisdom.to enough stupid and gullible people that they’re willing to pay you big bucks to spew even more of it.

    Looking around me and listening, even ever-so-casually, it’s not a surprise that such “experts” abound.

  11. feeriker says:

    Opus said:

    [Mizz MacLynn] let out the little secret that what men want in a woman is intelligence – that is surely code for the likelihood that no good looking young women are registered at her agency.

    You surely have nailed it. Mizz MacLynn is running a dating agency catering to bitchy, fugly, washed-up feminist hags. Her business model (such as it might be) is based on having gullible, desperately thirsty men pick up the tab for the operation.

  12. Anon says:

    And this is why marriage/divorce should not be seen as binary. Many UMC men live under threatpoint and henpecking. Plus, on a scale of 1-10, if all this media propaganda costs two points, that is a huge cost to even happy marriages.

    Lets say we know a happy couple that has a 7 happiness rating. In a different time, their happiness would be 9. So even they bear a huge cost from the universal 2-point docking that our culture inflicts.

    Much like a billionaire instead being a mere multi-millionaire. The 7/10 happy marriages today still have lost something huge. They just had enough buffer to still be a 7, but the loss is real nonetheless.

  13. Anon says:

    Just how does one become a “relationship expert” whose opinions are worthy of wide dissemination?

    A woman can become an expert even when she has totally failed at something. Examples of this are everywhere, due to the extreme FI-bias/goddess cult nature of our society.

  14. feeriker says:

    A woman can become an expert even when she has totally failed at something.

    Heck, failing at something gives her even more street cred as a victim.

  15. Opus says:

    Do you know of any movies about dating agencies? Isn’t Fiddler on the Roof one? I don’t know as I haven’t seen it but there is that song. The only two I can think of are the Talbot Rothwell scripted Carry on Loving from 1970 and the Anthony Schaffer scripted Frenzy from 1972. In the latter, in unsalubrious premises off Oxford Street, Barbara Leigh Hunt (the very-well turned-out proprietrix) is strangled; In the former, the agency is somewhat more down-market but situate in Windsor, is almost as violent and makes great fun of the scientific pretensions of the establishment.

  16. Feminist Hater says:

    Should have called the article:

    Bored, what to monkey branch to your next meal ticket? Here’s how, in 10 ways to stick the landing.

  17. Red Pill Latecomer says:

    A “relationship expert” is an entertainer. The job qualification isn’t to dispense expert advice. It’s to attract an audience — readers for your columns and books, listeners to your radio show, viewers of your TV show.

    Many “experts” are actually entertainers. Consider all the professional political pundits who have a long track record of predicting everything wrong. Even so, they still get book deals and radio and cable TV shows. Because they have fans who’ll tune in, watch them, buy their books.

    Astrologers, UFO seekers, ghost hunters, political pundits, psychologists, relationship experts — all entertainers helping coach potatoes fill their leisure hours.

  18. Red Pill Latecomer says:

    From the Delusional Women Files: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/w4m/5911200586.html

    A self-described 35-year-old, curvy (i.e., FAT), divorcee, seeking a “sugar daddy.”

    Be my sugar Daddy, spoil me, take me to elegant restaurants and events, places and the Mall, Buy me expensive jewelries and cloths and make me look like a Model. lets spend good time dining and winning. be single singular and handsome and classy man and also heterosexual. you must have some of your teeth and nails, and love kissing age limit is 65. divorced or widowed and disease free.

    We will end our relationship happily or we will get married. There was something sweet my parents used to feed me when I was a little girl, I will have you test that food.

  19. Pingback: Are you sure you aren’t unhappy? | Reaction Times

  20. A “relationship expert” is an entertainer.

    Brilliant.

  21. Gunner Q says:

    “A “relationship expert” is an entertainer.”

    I was gonna put five dollars on “sleeps with the boss”.

  22. Spike says:

    Relationship OCD is how you previously described this phenomenon, Dalrock.
    It’s a cacophony of whispers put out by a Lying Mainstream Press who is working as an arm of the State to produce discontent so we spend more, a necessity for a developed economy to run. Agreed too that the Church should be standing against this, instead of rolling with it.

    The problem is that it “feels right”. This starts with Daddy, Mummy and Precious Princess, for whom no one will ever be good enough. Any attempt of a new husband to bring Princess to heel is going to incur parental whispers of husband as abuser. It goes on from there.
    The trick is for the fathers of daughters to tell them, “Marriage is a one-way ticket. You marry him, you keep him. So marry well, because you’re not coming back.”
    This has to be drummed into daughters from early in life, as well as admonition a to avoid The Cult of the Boyfriend.

  23. Opus says:

    I have just found another scathing review of The Vida Agency: this one from a woman who said she had great difficulty getting through to them; they never phoned back. When eventually Ms MacLynn did pick up the phone enthusing over a superb prospect it turned out to be the same guy – the only guy – that the agency had so far provided to this unlucky woman. Even the Wedded Bliss agency (in Carry on Loving) were not that starved for clients.

    Running a successful marriage bureau is not easy – I followed with great interest a recent start-up of such an organisation where I live but it folded despite the high flown rhetoric within a couple of years. On-line dating sites are (so i am told) comparatively cheap and thus undercut the more traditional local establishments. I do wonder whether the other six women in the photo were hired from central casting to give the impression that work is booming. Pretending to have a larger organisation than one really has (you and your dog) is an old business trick “our Miss Opus deals with that and she is not in the office at the moment” – you say on your mobile phone as you sit at your local bar, thus fending off for at least a few more days another unhappy punter.

    If psychologists were capable of determining good matches, then they should be employed by the State for the purpose of matching people keen on wedlock, and it would then be interesting to see whether these couples divorced at lesser rates than the general population, but (subject to anything Scott says) I rather doubt that would be the case. I always thought the purpose of working in the City as a Banker was – not so much to make money – but to have access to the aspirational young women keen to meet people like you.

  24. Boxer says:

    There was something sweet my parents used to feed me when I was a little girl, I will have you test that food.

    LOL! This makes no sense, except as an allusion to weird perverted stuff. What a loon.

    I’m sorry I couldn’t get a screenshot. The ad has already been removed.

  25. It’s actually just business. Nothing personal guys.

    Ms. MacLynn is a self-declared “relationship expert”, relationship consultant, as well as an occupational psychologist and millionaire matchmaker.

    So her sking women whether or not they’re still haaaaappy in magazine articles is her version of advertising and sales prospecting 101.

    Ms. MacLynn is the founder of Vida Consultancy (London) where she sets up dates for wealthy men for £9,000 annual fee:
    http://thevidaconsultancy.com/

    http://www.businessinsider.com/this-matchmaker-sets-up-dates-for-london-bankers-2016-8?r=UK&IR=T

  26. “There was something sweet my parents used to feed me when I was a little girl, I will have you test that food.”

    I’m afraid that’s not a woman at all fellas.
    It’s a serial killer desperate for more mementos.

  27. Original Laura says:

    @Boxer: Maybe she removed the ad because she has found a qualified applicant! hahaha

  28. infowarrior1 says:

    Is marriage and happily ever after were somehow afterwards its all gonna be paradise? Or is it a team effort to take on the challenges of the world and of your own demons?

    Its as if after marriage people expect the fallenness to disappear.

  29. Sean says:

    The trick is for the fathers of daughters to tell them, “Marriage is a one-way ticket. You marry him, you keep him. So marry well, because you’re not coming back.”

    Exactly how does this make any difference? They don’t need Dad; he’s just another no-good, know-nothing man. Daddy Gubmint will give her everything she wants: tingles, food, shelter, abortion, affirmation, education… and by taking it from men.

  30. Anon says:

    Ms. MacLynn is the founder of Vida Consultancy (London) where she sets up dates for wealthy men for £9,000 annual fee:

    Ridiculous. But I don’t feel bad for the men. If a man cannot do daytime approaches (which are free), then he deserves to be parted with his money.

    Unlike imputation in divorce court, no one is forcing these men to pay her. If these men did not do basic Internet research to discover Game, they have no one to blame but themselves.

    Plus, the fee is only for the date. Not the seduction later. So it is already superceded by daytime approaches and phone numbers, not even the latter stages of Game.

  31. Opus says:

    I have now come across a slew of complaints from unhappy punters of The Vida Consultancy. I feel bad for the ‘single since forever’ overweight Asian woman (I am guessing Indian) in her thirties who feels ripped-off. This led me to Reddit who have a thread concerning one Megan Buquen who has for a couple of years been the other director of The Vida Consultancy. Megan however is American and lives in California: what she does is go around events and approaches suitable looking young women (hey, what about intelligence) and invites them to join her agency but they do not have to pay a penny; only the rich men in Marin County (perhaps you know all about the place) have to pay. Naturally the guys at Reddit were using four letter words such as Gold and Beta as well as longer one like Digger and Prostitution.

    Not that I would believe a word Megan says because her spin as to the Vida Agency was patent nonsense ‘one of the biggest agencies in europe blah blah blah” and so she left an agency she had founded in the U.K. to join MacLynn’s tiny outfit and then returned to the United States – yeah right.

    MacLynn had another company which is now dissolved – a consultancy – involving technology – in other words she was a typist temping (I’d guess – it can be better for tax that way) but as with Prostitution no one these days admits to being a typist – always either P.A. or some more technical sounding attribution.

    This is even more fun than Pizzagate (which doesn’t exist).

  32. feeriker says:

    Ms. MacLynn is the founder of Vida Consultancy (London) where she sets up dates for wealthy men for £9,000 annual fee.

    I feel bad for the ‘single since forever’ overweight Asian woman (I am guessing Indian) in her thirties who feels ripped-off.

    So … Mizz MacLynn appears to be trying to pair bitchy-fatty-fuglies with wealthy men. Just as I suspected.

    Not a viable business model, that’s for sure, but I’ll bet it’s entertaining as hell to watch her try to pull it off.

  33. feeriker says:

    @Boxer: Maybe she removed the ad because she has found a qualified applicant! hahaha

    I don’t doubt that for a second. LA is chock full of such “qualifed applicants.”

  34. rdchemist says:

    Maclynn seems to be trying to break up perfectly good relationships to enlarge her potential client base.

    There’s something to be said about creating new markets.

  35. Lyn87 says:

    I met my wife through a dating service, but in my defense, that was before one Mister Al Gore invented the internet which made Game available to us all. I had some balls when it came to approaching women, but I didn’t have technique, and I certainly didn’t have the one best thing: above-average height.

    I saw the advert and asked myself the question, “What do I have to lose besides 20 bucks and what’s left of my dignity?”

    I already knew that chicks are drawn to jerks like moths to flames, but that’s not my thing and never would be, but I did discover that having a high-status, macho-sounding job (military officer), and a sports car were catnip to the looking-to-get-out-of-this-frozen-hell set, where most of the single guys were more adept at riding tractors than knowing which fork to use. Suddenly I was being flooded with interest, which was a very new experience for me. Success breeds success, so my confidence went up, and the rest is history. Obviously it ended well, but I have no illusions about how lucky I got… a lot of guys with a lot tighter game than me got obliterated in the Matrix.

    Which brings me back to Mizz MacLynn’s enterprise. 9000 quid-per-annum sounds like a lot more money than a rich guy in a city overflowing with gold-digging whores should expect to pay to get set up. One would think that men who make that sort of money would know enough about finances (even the ones who know nothing about women) to view that sort of arrangement as a rental fee rather than a lottery ticket. In other words, for that sort of money to exchange hands one would expect a “sure thing”… and a pretty one at that: on call, rather a promise from the matchmaker that, “I’ll see what I can do once the check clears.”

    But her rantings are just more of the same crap we’ve all been hearing for years. Although she studiously avoids “gendered language,” it’s pretty clear that the column is intended for women, which brings us full-circle to male disposability. If you’re a woman and you’re not “haaaaaaaapy,” then it’s time to play “dump-the-(beta)-chump” and take another spin on the carousel. Never mind such trivialities as loyalty, honor, or even their own long-term self-interest: the mostest-importantest thing is whether a woman is at peak happiness right this moment.

  36. Dale says:

    @Heidi
    Re your comments at 1:01 pm

    That was a great, wise response. Self-control is critical to maturity. (And incidentally, required by Titus 2:1-5. I find it interesting/curious that young men are only encouraged to have self-control (verse 6) while everyone else is commanded.)
    And the self-reflection that would be required by many of your responses certainly would not hurt.

  37. Robert What? says:

    I was at a wedding a couple of years ago where the thirty something guy was marrying a thirty something ex carousel rider. I wanted to take the guy aside and ask him what the hell he was doing, but being s friend of a friend it wasn’t my place. A couple of years later I learn he has basically married into significant health and financial issues, including infertility. I’m amazed that guys still get married these days. Why?

  38. Lost Patrol says:

    Obviously it ended well, but I have no illusions about how lucky I got… a lot of guys with a lot tighter game than me got obliterated in the Matrix.

    Somewhere out there must exist a mathematical formula proving that the outcome, at least occasionally, can favor the man.

  39. cynthia says:

    @Opus

    Do you know of any movies about dating agencies?

    Not a movie, but the Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker is a fascinating study in the female hamster. The woman who runs the agency in LA, Patty, is a former carousel rider who clearly regrets her promiscuous past and failure to settle down. She does have a good grasp of sexual dynamics, and especially in the first season, she drops truth bombs left and right on her clients. She tears into the girls on a regular basis about their appearance, weight, personality and so on. There’s one episode where she goes off on a girl for breaking her “no sex before monogamy” rule and the girl tearfully admits that jumping into bed on the second date ruined any chance of a real relationship. It’s fun to watch the personal dynamics which are on full display, despite the no doubt biased editing.

    I find the gaps in her knowledge equally fascinating. She tries to push older women on guys who want kids, doesn’t acknowledge the reality of the Wall, and gets pissed when guys want looks over intelligence. She understands so much but because those things would mean facing up to the reality of her own failures, she can’t see them.

    The show got worse once everyone involved figured out the viewer demographic (middle age women) wanted fantasy verses uncomfortable reality. It eventually devolved into overly elaborate dates and ball-busting. It’s amazing the first couple of seasons got made, though.

  40. Pingback: Dr. Russell Moore: Wives don’t sin (part 2) | Dalrock

  41. Grampy_Bone says:

    Off-topic, thought you might get a kick out this:

    http://www.marketwatch.com/story/a-career-a-house-and-financial-security-didnt-make-me-happy-2015-06-05?siteid=yhoof2&yptr=yahoo&cb=logged0.2918202517979376

    Woman pursues money and career, then quits job to be a teacher (be around kids, hmm I wonder why). No husband, no children, can’t understand why she’s unhappy. Columnist gives her terrible advice, as usual. I don’t think the writer even realizes the real answer, he can’t say it because he can’t even think it.

  42. Lost Patrol says:

    Don’t really know where to hang this, but unhappy women seemed appropriate.

    http://heatst.com/politics/love-donald-trump/

    “Women Cutting Hair, Dumping Boyfriends in ‘Precarious’ New Donald Trump World”

    I thought Trump’s main accomplishment was keeping the man-killer out of office. Turns out, he is saving large numbers of men in other ways.

    “According to the Washington Post and New York Magazine, in order to “regain their power” and “take control,” women are chopping off their hair, dumping their boyfriends, and dedicating themselves to a monastic existence, focused on defeating Trump’s negative energy.”

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