As I explained in my last post, there is a form of doublethink involved with the topic of how families get broken up. When the discussion is how to hold marriages together, everyone knows the solution is for men to do whatever it takes to stop their wives from getting bored and nuking the family. Marriage counselor Dr. Harley puts it this way (emphasis mine):
Why do women seem so dissatisfied with marriage? What do they want from their husbands? What bothers [women] so much about marriage that most are willing to risk their families’ future to escape it?
Yet whenever the topic is the terrible cost of broken families, everyone knows the problem is men abandoning their children and not honoring their marriage vows.
But each day the amnesia returns again, and as soon as the discussion is about how to hold families together, everyone once again knows that broken homes are caused by women ejecting the father of their children from the family. As Justice Schanfarber explains today in Why Women Leave Men They Love: What Every Man Needs to Know* (emphasis mine):
As a marriage counsellor working with men and women in relationship crisis, I help clients navigate numerous issues. While many situations are complex, there’s one profoundly simple truth that men need to know: Women leave men they love.
They feel terrible about it. It tears their heart out of them. But they do it. They rally their courage and their resources and they leave. Women leave men with whom they have children, homes and lives.
Of course when we talk about women leaving what we are almost always talking about is the woman staying put and expelling the man from the house, as an attorney explains in Five Ways to Get a Spouse Out of the House. As one divorcée brilliantly put it, divorce is a neutron bomb for men.
Either way, as Schanfarber explains, women’s commitment in marriage is notoriously fickle; it could give out at any moment should a woman no longer feel the spark. Every child in an intact family could have their lives turned upside down at any moment should their mother become bored of being married.
Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment after moment.