…I had cracked the code on women’s dominance. It was invisible but had been there all along. Ladies, we can stink men into submission.
Thank goodness New York City is so loud. I fart everywhere now. I fart in the grocery store to get the men behind me in line to back up a notch. I fart on the ferry to get men to take their goddamned arm off the back of my seat. I fart at the gym to get the sweaty men to move on over and not take the machine right next to mine. I fart on the street to get men to slow their roll and keep a respectful distance behind me and not encroach on my personal space.
Humid days are the best because the fart hangs around longer…
Hope will no doubt be disappointed to learn that she isn’t the first to discover this particular ugly feminist weapon. See also: