When preparing for my last post I came across an interview of Kate Bolick by Edith Zimmerman at The Hairpin: Kate Bolick on Refusing to Settle (Part One). Zimmerman describes two options for dating and family formation (emphasis mine):
…for people who want to have kids and raise them with someone else, I wonder what the next alternative for love/sex/reproduction is. Because it seems like for women there’s currently two options: Option A, which is dating, marriage, kids (and divorce and remarriage, etc.), or Option B, which is every other nontraditional alternative, where it’s everyone for him/herself, trying to figure out what fits. Option A being pretty clear, and Option B being wide open.
Zimmerman gives away a great deal in framing her question, because in option A men are operating under the old constraints while women aren’t bound to anything. Option A is women go feral while men play by the rules and pick up the tab. She seems to want to rebel from the ostensible constraints of this model, but she can’t even imagine what an alternative might look like. She frames it as if option B would be liberating for women, but she can’t imagine a model which doesn’t lead up to marriage (and then divorce and remarriage).