In the discussion of the last post Spacetraveller asks:
Is there never a ‘saturation point’ where …um…marital relations are concerned? Whilst I totally ‘get’ that a man has earned the ‘right’ to ‘easy’ access to his own wife, is there such a thing as ‘too easy’?
Perhaps this question is evidence of my own ‘projection’. But I wonder if there is some truth to my theory??
(I guess my question would be already answered if ‘Mrs. Yes’ had already posted her husband’s reaction to her year-long ‘trial’. But as yet, she hasn’t, and I am curious as to the effect on a man if his wife never said no. Even if this were a realistic scenario (that she never says no), my question is, does this bring with it a whole new level of problems, i.e. a certain lack of respect for wife?)
Right off the bat, there is no worry about the wife seeming too “easy”. They are married, so this simply doesn’t apply.
But to the larger question of what it is like, what happens is the couple gets incredibly close. You don’t need to wait for Mr. Yes’ response, because he may not be eager to write about something so personal on a blog. Mrs. Yes already described it:
Yes. We have always been affectionate – although not in the normal ways. We have never been the type to end a call with “I love you” or leave for work with a kiss. Our affection is usually shown by holding hands, sitting together and having some physical contact. A hug or squeeze as we cook dinner or go about our lives. I do think that we are more affectionate and I think where I see this the most is actually in bed – but not during sex. We snuggle up more as we settle in for the night, after sex and just while we sleep. While we have always held hands out and about – he now reaches for my hand pretty immediately as we get out of the car these days.
How it manifests will vary based on the nature of the couple itself, but it will be an incredible closeness. Husbands who don’t get rejected don’t shy away from physical affection because they feel really close and don’t fear rejection if they get aroused. Imagine a scenario where you build a fire and have an unlimited supply of firewood. Whenever one of you wants, you are free to throw another log on the fire. Paradoxically you end up with both periods of more intense heat and passion as well as moments where the fire has burned down nicely and it is pleasantly warm. You don’t get those wonderful glowing coals by being stingy with the wood.
For my wife and I not only are we very physically affectionate, we also talk a great deal. Our daughter has commented numerous times that when we go out to a restaurant the other parents don’t talk to each other. When they do talk it is pretty much just to the kids. We talk to the kids too of course, but according to our daughter at least we are always talking to each other. My wife describes the periods of “pleasant warmth” as being like a never ending slumber party, and we very often do end up staying up laughing and talking late into the night.