Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
I’m not normally one to quote Bible verses. However, someone quoted the proverb above somewhere in the manosphere a few months back, and this one has stuck with me. The sheer beauty of it came to mind as I was scanning our old wedding photos about a month ago. All of our wedding photos are prints, and I wanted to make a digital copy while I know they are still in good shape. Seeing us both so unbelievably young was extremely moving and helped me appreciate the wisdom of the proverb even more.
We talk a good deal on this blog and across the manosphere about the realities of women’s sexual market value/marriage market value (SMV/MMV) as they grow older. This reality is denied to the great detriment of many women, old and young. But a loving wife who spent her youth with her husband and remains faithful and committed is in a very special position. To me my wife is just as beautiful at 37 as the day I married her when she was only 20. I would try to explain this, but I really don’t have the words. I’ll wager that most married men here will understand this, and maybe even some of the unmarried ones as well; Solomon II understands it. I’ll also bet most women will struggle to truly accept it.
One of the things which can at times be lost when discussing game is the positive side of beta. Too much beta and the man is unattractive, and a woman shouldn’t marry him. But as Athol Kay points out what is ideal (for marriage at least) is a delicate balance of alpha and beta traits. The often fierce loyalty and kindness of a beta which can so easily morph into farce when misapplied can also be incredibly noble.
This beta loyalty and attachment is the primary reason divorce tends to be so devastating for men even if they don’t have their children taken from them and aren’t abused financially by the process. Frivolous divorce blindsides these men exactly because of their kindness and loyalty; they simply can’t fathom a mind of selfish treachery because it is so foreign to their own way of thinking. These men usually do recover after a year or two, and from a SMV/MMV perspective generally have a significant advantage over their treacherous ex wife. Unlike in the movies, these men very seldom take their frivolous ex wives back once they recover.
To women of any age who are either hoping to marry or are already married, my request would be to accept that most husbands really do feel this way about a wife who took a chance on him when he was young and shared her own youth with him. It may not make sense, but then so much about men and women doesn’t make sense to the other sex. Men seldom discuss this, and my guess is we instinctively understand how risky this is from a game perspective.
For young women who wish to marry my advice would be to take your search for your future husband seriously now. Don’t waste your youth with men who won’t care about you but for a moment, even if that moment extends for several years. Just as important, don’t conduct yourself in such a way that will skew your ability to experience attraction for men to those with excessive alpha qualities. Each additional increment of alpha you find yourself needing means an equal loss in loyalty and kindness you will be able to find attractive in a husband. The way to avoid the less kind forms of game and/or the infidelity of a man with too much alpha is simply not to need this much alpha in the first place. Feel free to get as much alpha as you want (and can attract) in a husband, but understand the trade-offs.
For married women my advice would be to find any way you can to block out the whispers, and take great care of who you take counsel from; resist the urge to view your husband’s loyalty and kindness as weakness.
To unmarried men who wish to marry, use great caution and be sure to find a woman who is truly worthy of marriage.
To married men with worthy wives, my advice is that of Proverbs 5:18.
Rejoice with the wife of thy youth.