Back in February of last year Aol News ran a piece about a Latin teacher named Cord Ivanyi at Gilbert Classical Academy who was teaching chivalry to the boys in his class (see also this piece from ABC). At the time Ferdinand ran a post titled Castrated by chivalry which called this out. Ferd then outed what he believed to be Mr. Ivanyi commenting on his blog as a sock puppet. Welmer also wrote on this topic in The Spearhead in his post Training Boys to be Dogs. This all came back into view when Mr. Ivanyi’s students started writing Ferdinand letters again the other week, I presume related to the return of school following the summer break. Ferdinand followed up with another post titled Cord Ivanyi, World’s Biggest Mangina, Sics His Students on Me (language warning). Check out Ferdinand’s latest post for the whole exchange.
This post is intended for Mr. Ivanyi, his students, or anyone else who is otherwise familiar with his class. I assume you heard about the controversy and searched on his name. If you are looking for a place to defend Mr. Ivanyi, you are in luck. Before you do so, however, I ask that you first consider what I and others here in the manosphere have to say. There are good reasons why Ferdinand and Welmer reacted to the AOL News story with so much contempt.
Chivalry can only exist in the proper context. Implementing chivalry outside of context creates a mockery of the very concept, and makes the man or boy attempting it a fool. It doesn’t just make him a fool, but it tends to make him a lonely frustrated fool, because women aren’t attracted to men who put them on a pedestal. This is what chivalry out of context does, and the end result is a group of very frustrated young men who can’t figure out why all of the girls only want to be friends with them. These nice guys will quickly tire of being the soft shoulder his female friends cry on after the latest bad boy they threw themselves at treated them badly.
Note: If this doesn’t have a strong ring of truth to you, don’t worry about it. Just remember this page and come back after you have completed a few years of College. In the meantime, isn’t there a hot girl at your school whose books need to be carried?
The good news is you have come to a place with much knowledge. I don’t mean my blog, but the larger environment the blog exists in, which we call the manosphere. If you want to understand what attracts women, what you need to learn is game. Note that this is true whether you want to be a pickup artist or simply a happily married man. Female psychology and how to seduce women is something all men should understand, even if the only woman you wish to seduce is your wife.
I’ve created a page to list all of the different game resources out there. But if you are looking for a place to start, I would suggest the famous Dave From Hawaii post at Heartiste. I would also suggest this post of my own.
If you are a female student of Mr. Ivanyi, you may want to learn more about game as well. For example, you will be glad to know that you aren’t defective for not being attracted to really nice guys. Weird how I knew your deepest, darkest secret like that, isn’t it? But don’t take it from me, take it from Susan Walsh of Hooking Up Smart. While I have your attention, I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you about the awful advice many older people are likely giving to you. Conventional wisdom is that women who want to marry don’t have to take searching for a husband seriously until they are 30. This works for some, but many women have found out too late that it can fail miserably. Leaving this to the last minute can also leave you vulnerable, so be on the lookout. Additionally, your fertility will be declining sooner than you are being told. Also, if you do marry, be aware that divorce is regularly sold to women in the media. Once married you will be bombarded with messages suggesting that you would be better off divorcing. Don’t fall for this. You will watch movies with absurd stories like Eat Pray Love and How Stella Got Her Grove Back. You may even read what is claimed to be a factual column by an online dating site where a middle aged divorcée meets a secret multimillionaire hunky handyman. This isn’t likely in real life.
But misunderstanding female psychology is only one half of what is wrong with what Mr. Ivanyi is teaching. He is also ignoring reality. This is the generation of women he wants boys to revere. Even their own mothers know something is terribly wrong.
Additionally, women today are anything but oppressed. For example, while it is generally assumed that divorce is driven by men dumping their wives for a younger model, the opposite turns out to be true. Men are treated like second class citizens by family courts all too eager to rip their children away from them, and transform them from a father into a walking wallet. Men can even be thrown in jail for failing to pay child support for a child fathered by another man.
Young men don’t need to be taught to treat women as if they are superior beings. They need to be taught how to navigate the reality of the post sexual revolution and post feminist world. They are at a legal disadvantage to women in everything from domestic violence to getting a job. The last thing they need to be taught is to pretend nothing is going on, and to offer themselves up as the servants of women.
I say all of this as a strong advocate of marriage. Teaching young men to self sabotage makes them less likely to be able to find a worthy wife. This leaves worthy women having to choose between spinsterhood, pretending to love a man in order to marry him, and being pumped and dumped by players. If they are truly good women they will of course choose spinsterhood, but why force such a choice on them in the first place? Men and women both deserve better than the catastrophic failure Mr. Ivanyi is setting our young people and their future children up for.
And now having seen the error of his ways after reading this post and the comments below, my hope is that Mr. Ivanyi will finally understand why he was in fact being a mangina. As a result I am confident that he will change his ways sufficiently to make the title of this post an accurate statement.