Always leave a note.

When my wife was in her early teens she used to babysit for some extra money.  One couple was looking for a babysitter for their young son for the occasions where the husband was away on business and the wife was doing charity work.

Actually it turned out that the wife wasn’t as into charity work as her husband (or my wife) had been lead to believe.  My wife watched their son several times, but each time she did the wife was going out with the husband’s best friend.  They weren’t very good at hiding what was actually going on, and even the young boy seemed to know something was rotten.

One night the husband called wanting to talk with his wife.  My wife helpfully explained that she was out with his best friend, and based on previous nights they were likely to be out quite late.  As you can imagine the wife was livid with my wife after she was confronted by her husband.  When she took her home she insisted on speaking with my wife’s mother.  After hearing the woman’s story my mother in law explained that it sounded like a big misunderstanding which would have been prevented if she had left a note.

My mother in law grabbed a nearby pen and pad of paper and pantomimed writing a note as she thoughtfully explained in her melodic German accent:

This is why you must always leave a note:

I will be out a whoring at [insert name of motel here].

From 6:00 PM until 10:00 PM.  Be sure to leave the phone number of the place you are whoring at so you can be reached in an emergency.

Don’t forget to let the dog out.

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13 Responses to Always leave a note.

  1. Badger says:

    With regard to choosing a spouse: a woman whose mother will call her daughter’s client an unqualified whore to her face is on her way to being a good bet.

  2. Bob says:

    Gotta second Badger on this one.

  3. Third-ing Badger. Such candor is in short supply in this day and age of “civility”.

  4. Mike43 says:

    Obviously, y’all haven’t met my mother in law. More gentile, but about as acidic. Probably the reason we’ve been married 31 years.

    (Though, my dad did say look to the mother, when getting married. I did and liked what I saw….)

  5. Pingback: Props to the Award Winners « The Badger Hut

  6. Susan Walsh says:

    Wow, I’m impressed. That your wife, still in her early teens could pull that off with such aplomb. Sounds like the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she “penned” that note. LOL.

  7. HarmonicaFTW says:

    Your mother-in-law should be elevated to sainthood.

  8. Bricona says:

    That’s pretty fucking hilarious.

  9. Doug1 says:

    4th-ing Badger. And yeah, pretty funny.

  10. Anonymous says:

    What Badger said… damn straight!

  11. MissMarie says:

    Priceless! I’ve let the cat out of the bag a time or two myself, and it really doesn’t help one’s popularity. Does leave one with a good feeling inside, though. And yes, pun intended. 😉

  12. what anonymous said about badger. . .

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