I saw the video below on the Rex Patriarch blog post Hitting The Wall Like A Bug On The Windshield.
A 35 year old woman on a desperate husband hunt isn’t exactly news to the manosphere. This is a phenomena which has been exaggerated out of proportion, at least for the current crop of women 35 and older as can be seen by the median age of marriage and other Census org data:
The way the data is bracketed makes it impossible to be precise, but the woman on the video is in roughly the last 15% of white women her age who remain unmarried. While it may be the case that every woman she knows her age isn’t married, the reality is she is very much in the minority.
What surprised me about the video however is not the fact that a 30 something woman is all of a sudden in a rush to find a husband. It wasn’t the fact that she has already picked out her wedding date. It wasn’t even the awful singing which got my attention (although I did have to find a chalkboard to scratch my fingernails down just to get that sound out of my head). What did surprise me was how nearly universal the response was from men. Here in the manosphere the attitude towards a 30 something woman looking to marry is rightly or wrongly quite harsh. The comments on youtube looked very much like one might have seen on The Spearhead or Citizen Renegade:
She’s not unlike most women, who are in love with the idea of marriage instead of truly being in love. It’s a win-win situation for them as they can get divorced and ass rape the man in court, which is their plan most of the time as most divorces are initiated by women.
The more I learn about women, the less I respect them. When you think about it, what can you really respect about women ?
You don’t seem mentally stable. And you’re about 10 years late into the marriage game.
You’ve probably been very promiscuous throughout those 10 years, so what gives you the impression that any man would at all be interested in you?
That’s just totally unrealistic.
rudebwoy1974 is right! All of a sudden the town j***-jar realizes she’s over 30 and alone. Some poor schlub is gonna get taken-in by her fading looks and marry that crazy chick. Kinda like getting a donut that someone already sucked all the jelly out of…..( looks OK on the outside but is used up and empty on the inside).
A number of other commentators were especially curious about her sammich making abilities:
less music, more sammiches !
I have a wife already, but could use another one for odd jobs around the house…
Can you make sandwiches?
I’m interested but the first thing that would have to go would be that keyboard, then I’d need a look at your mother. The real deal breaker would be your sammich making skillz and what kind of truck you drive. Oh yeah, if you have any disease other than EBR, it ends here.
So a note to unmarrieds over 30, bone up on sammich making skills since this appears to be in high demand.
The reason I say the reaction surprises me is because my generation as a whole hasn’t been all that suspicious of women in their 30s looking to marry. I know 3 different couples where the wife was 35 when they married. None of these women had kids or had previously married. And none of them struck me as carousel riders.
What I think is happening here is the cynicism of the younger generation who have witnessed the full meltdown of women’s sexual morality in the hookup culture is now seeping into older men. We knew this was the case in the manosphere, but from the comments on this video at least it seems much more widespread than just our corner of the internet.
Imagine being a typical 35 year old clueless beta/white knight and looking at that video. His first reaction might have been Mom! Come down into the basement and look at this, I’ve found a pretty(ish) woman who wants to marry! But we all know moms can’t be rushed when making snacks for their sons, so she likely finishes her task before coming to view the good news. In the meantime, our intrepid beta will have read all of the disparaging remarks about this fine woman who finds herself suddenly 35 and unmarried. Reading these remarks has to throw at least a little cold water on his excitement to marry her. It might dispirit him enough that he stops mid reply and switches back to World of Warcraft, leaving his mother scratching her head while holding a juice box and PBJ sandwich with the crusts removed.
And who can blame him? I was 22 when I met my wife, and she was 18. We’ve spent the last 18 years together. She’s only a year older than our husband hunting friend above. It makes you wonder; what was she doing for the last 17 years? Was marriage not a priority for her? Was she too picky? Did she overestimate her own value? Did she treat dating as if she was a judge and not a participant? Was she getting her fun out of the way? Was she riding the carousel? As I said I think many women hit this age without having been promiscuous. But for a man considering marriage I think this is something which should at least give great pause. It appears this is the case already.
I can only imagine what today’s 25 year old men will think of 35 year old women in a rush to marry 10 years from now. Based on the smaller percentage of women married in their 20s now vs 10 years prior, many more women will be in that position in 10 years.