Ms. Chivalry

Ying Ma bemoans the loss of chivalry in Men Who Don’t Pay (H/T Instapundit):

We live in a society where lots of men do not pay. Not only do they fail to pay for the women with whom they go on a date, they increasingly do not even pay for themselves.

The men afflicted with this syndrome tend to be young, and are usually under the age of forty. Those who suffer most severely tend to be products of the nation’s top universities or respectable urban workplaces—where political correctness and leftwing ideology regularly trample over concepts such as chivalry and honor. At these institutions, the worst thing that could happen is to be perceived as racist, sexist or homophobic. Being a weasel that does not pay is not considered a source of embarrassment.

Ma’s critique of modern men is the conservative critique, reinforced by the page title:

Leftist Ideology Makes Men Cheap and Go Dutch 

Ma no doubt wants to know why this is happening.  The reason of course is simple, as I explained in Why men are withdrawing from courtship.  Women are greatly extending the period they expect to be courted, very often expecting to be courted for decades.  As women have started dating for sex instead of marriage, men have adjusted their courtship strategies in response.  At some level Ma understands this, because her complaint is that men want to have sex with women without buying dinner first:

…on his date, he shelled out only $2.50 for an ice cream cone for the lady and then quickly got to the point: to secure what young men usually want from women.

Pretending that buying a woman dinner to have sex with her is “traditional” or “manly” is absurd, but Ma doesn’t seem to notice.

All of this left me curious whether Ma understood the current sexual marketplace.  Perhaps she married young under different cultural customs.  She has a personal blog, and I thought the about page would let me know how long she has been married.  However there is no reference to a husband in her about page.  This doesn’t mean she isn’t married, but if she is it isn’t something she notes about herself on her own blog.  In fact, she goes to surprising lengths to avoid giving away her marital status.  Her entire about page is written in the third person, and she repeatedly refers to herself using the feminist title “Ms.”

Ms. Ma is a policy advisor at the Heartland Institute, a free-market think tank, and a columnist for The Wall Street Journal‘s China blog.

Ms. Ma has previously served as a visiting fellow at the Hoover Institution of War, Revolution and Peace at Stanford University, a premier conservative think tank; practiced law at Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP, a leading global law firm headquartered in New York; managed corporate communications at, the first Mainland China-based Internet company to list on the Nasdaq Stock Market; and served on the first professional staff of the U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission, a congressional commission established to examine the security implications of America’s economic relationship with China

Weak men are screwing Ms. Ma’s feminism up.  Won’t someone come to her aid?

Posted in Chivalry, Death of courtship, Feminists, Traditional Conservatives, Weak men screwing feminism up | 358 Comments

“The Writer” writes

As I’ve noted previously, Robert Stacy McCain* brilliantly describes what he calls “The Writer” in ‘Broken People,’ Cats and Prozac.  There are several very common characteristics of “The Writer” which McCain has noted.  One of them is their education:

See, this is the thing with young feminist writer types nowadays. They can’t go to Podunk State University. No, they must attend one of those private schools where annual tuition is at or near the median U.S. household income. This is the only way to become that glorious being, The Writer.

Another, even more central characteristic is what The Writer writes about:

Well, you may ask, what does The Writer write about?

Herself, of course! Do these elite colleges offer a major in Solipsism Studies nowadays?

To say the very least. Where do they come from, these painfully sensitive writer girls with interior dialogues full of shame and fear?

“Feminine instinct without its proper object or purpose,” my gut tells me, speaking like an old-fashioned psychologist, or perhaps an anthropologist of the evolutionary “brain science” type.

With this in mind, I offer you some excerpts from Laura Lifshitz’s comment in reply to my recent post about her so that we might further test The Other McCain’s prescience:

#3- I went to college for writing. An established institution– Columbia University. I am not be Shakespeare or the other author you mentioned, but I love writing, I write constantly, and try to the best of my ability.

Went to an expensive private university to study writing?  Check.  The Other McCain has this part dialed in.  But did he guess the subject material correctly?

#6 Yup. I make money off writing about divorce, parenthood, sex, marriage, and more.
If that makes me a jerk, well please, I’m waiting for my capital J.

This is a tougher call.  The post I linked to and the others of hers I read were very much about her own divorce, her own parenthood, etc.  But Lifshitz frames this as writing about the topics in the abstract, not using these topics as an excuse to endlessly write about herself, baring her own pain, etc.  However, I am perhaps not the most unbiased observer here, so I suggest instead we take this question to someine who is sympathetic to Lifshitz.  William Benton was one of several commenters who came to this blog to defend Lifshitz:

2) Laura is not profiting from her divorce. She supports herself. She is a hard working, creative, witty soul who wishes nothing more than to find the light at the far end of this dark tunnel she has found herself in. She has no delusions that somehow divorce is an inconvenient event that will ultimately be inconsequential, and her daughter will simply get past it. No, she is looking for hope in the future as she deals with the pains she fought to prevent from slamming down on herself and her daughter.

3) Laura writes from her heart. She bares her soul so graphically that I cannot bring myself to read everything that she writes. She reflects upon pain and anguish to control the demons of her past. That is how she copes and how she survives. And it opens her up to critical judgement from those who don’t know or understand the rest of the story.

So far McCain is two for two.  This brings up his third prediction, regarding where “The Writer” lives while practicing her trade of writing about herself:

And, probably because as girls dreaming of becoming The Writer, they watched a sitcom or movie about the lives of quirky bachelorettes in Brooklyn, they simply must live there after graduation.

From just a bit of searching it appears that this particular “The Writer” doesn’t actually live in Brooklyn, but does trace her roots to Brooklyn.  For this I think it is ony gracious to give McCain partial credit.

But as I mentioned in my previous post, Lifshitz isn’t just another The Writer, she is part of a subset of The Writers who realized that in order to properly navel gaze, they needed to bring more to the table than just ordinary feminist dysfunction.  Lifshitz is a cut above ordinary The Writers;  she has gone that essential extra mile to become not just any The Writer, but a Professional Divorcée.  Divorce papers and devastated young child in hand, she finally has the kind of painful inner dialog her readers crave.  As commenter Alexandra Segal explains:

You’re just jealous that she got published in the New York Times and you didn’t. And by the way, how dare you criticize a mother who worries about her child? Don’t even pretend to think that you know what that kind of bond is like.

Let this be a lesson to all would be The Writers.  If you want to make it big and put your expensive private school education to use, be sure to leave a trail of wreckage in your wake.


See Also:  Harming your kids for attention and profit.

*I understand from Instapundit that The Other McCain has a new book out:  Sex Trouble: Essays on Radical Feminism and the War Against Human Nature.

Posted in "The Writer", Laura Lifshitz, Professional Divorcee, Robert Stacy McCain, Solipsism, Ugly Feminists | 59 Comments

Taking a break.

I’ll be turning on comment moderation later tonight, and should be back some time next week.  In the meantime I leave you with the wisdom of Roger Miller and Johnny Knoxville.

March 23 update:  Comments are back open, but I might not have a new post up for several days.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Laura Lifshitz hits the bigtime

Divorce is big business, and this isn’t limited to the family courts and the wide range of cogs in the machinery that destroys families.  When women aren’t destroying their own families, they like to read, watch, and think about other women destroying their families.  But while the demand is enough for online magazines like Huffington Post to create a separate section just for divorce, there is an army of women who want to be writers.  Moreover, with nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, divorcées are a dime a dozen.

Laura Lifshitz got her start as a professional divorcée at Huffington Post Divorce back in late January of this year.  Her maiden post Why You Should Date My Ex-Husband was a passable contribution to the category, but not good enough to make her stand out.  In the six weeks that followed she cranked out another 12 posts for Huffington Post Divorce, but being productive in a crowded genre isn’t enough.  Like all professional divorcées, Lifshitz needs something extra, something that makes her stand out in the din of all of the other divorcées writing about the destruction of their family.


Last week Lifshitz found her niche.  She took a page from Susan Gregory Thomas’ playbook and wrote about how much her frivolous divorce is harming her young child.  This is always a crowd pleaser, allowing women fantasizing about divorce to imagine the divorce causing immense pain to innocent children.  While Lifshitz is no Susan Gregory Thomas, her piece ‘I Miss My Daddy. Divorce Stinks.’ was enough to get her published in the New York Times mommyblog, Motherlode.

Posted in Laura Lifshitz, Professional Divorcee, selling divorce, Ugly Feminists | 529 Comments

Out of wedlock births have leveled off in the United States since 2009

In my previous post I stated that out of wedlock birth rates were continuing to increase.  However, I was incorrect.  According to the August 2014 Census paper Recent Declines in Nonmarital Childbearing in the United States out of wedlock birth rates have declined slightly in the last few years:


The most dramatic change is in the number of out of wedlock births.  However, since these were falling at the same rate as in wedlock births the percent of births which were out of wedlock remained nearly unchanged.  The peak for out of wedlock birth rates was in 2009 at 41%, and this dropped down to 40.6% in 2013.

But the overall number masks what is going on by age and race.  Since 2007 out of wedlock birth rates have fallen for women under 30, have remained roughly flat for women 30-34, and increased for women 35 and over:


Out of wedlock birth rates have fallen the most for Hispanics, and to a lesser degree for Blacks.  White and Asian out of wedlock birth rates have declined slightly as well.


Out of wedlock births are now more likely to involve cohabiting parents than in the recent past:


Posted in Illegitimacy | 115 Comments