Married Game in a picture.

While I don’t think Scott and Mychael would call their blog Morally Contextualized Romance a “Game” blog, their banner image is the very picture of married Game.  Click on the link above to see Scott with his shotgun in hand and his smiling woman over his shoulder (no, I don’t have that backwards).

While you are there, you might also check out some of their excellent posts, including:

  1. Transcendent things and the long view
  2. Why the word “coward” never works on women.
  3. How do we politely challenge church leaders?

 

Related:  If it isn’t fun, you probably aren’t doing it right.

Posted in Beautiful truth, Game, Linkage, Marriage, Romantic Love | 72 Comments

Not enough cash and prizes.

There is a new push under way for women who divorce to be rewarded with even greater amounts of cash and prizes.  Dr. Helen tackles this in Elizabeth Warren Wants Men to ‘Share the Pain’.  It isn’t just Elizabeth Warren lobbying for an increase in cash and prizes;  The Atlantic has a new article out titled The Divorce Gap, painting a picture of men frivolously divorcing and kicking their hapless wives out on the street:

…her husband told her to leave their house, and filed for a divorce she couldn’t afford. “He said he was tired of my medical issues, and unwilling to work on things,” she said, citing her severe rheumatoid arthritis and OCD, both of which she manages with medication. “He kicked me out of my own house, with no job and no home, and then my only recourse was to lawyer up. I’m paying them on credit.”

No doubt The Atlantic found this kind of one in a million case, but it is incredibly dishonest to pretend that this is how the family courts function.  All they did was take reality and switch the sexes, and all to generate support for increasing the rewards to women who blow up their families.  As every divorce lawyer knows, while there are very rare exceptions the system is designed to eject the husband from the home and replace him with an income stream for the wife.  Likewise, both Christian and secular marriage counselors will tell you that it is women, not men, who struggle most with commitment.  As Dr. Harley asks in Why Women Leave Men:

Why do women seem so dissatisfied with marriage? What do they want from their husbands? What bothers them so much about marriage that most are willing to risk their families’ future to escape it?

Elsewhere Dr Harley explains that 80% of divorces are initiated by women who become unhappy and divorce with little or no warning.

Even if you don’t talk to divorce lawyers or marriage counselors, and even if you don’t look into the academic research, everyone knows what the score is here.  It is women, not men, who not only initiate the vast majority of divorces, but shamelessly fantasize about divorce as “empowerment”.  As the very first comment on the Atlantic article notes:

atlantic_empowerment

The Atlantic understands the reality of who initiates divorce (and why) better than most, because they are in the entertainment business.  If you want to keep the interest of your female audience, part of your offering needs to be stories of women frivolous divorcing so they can imagine doing the same.  But this only applies to women;  this is why there is no counterpart to Eat Pray Love or Fireproof for men, and why only women can make a living writing about the pain they caused by blowing up their families.  A man fantasizing about destroying his family would be seen as disgusting, but for women this is not only normal and empowering, but good for business.

And again, The Atlantic knows this because this is the business they are in.  When The Atlantic isn’t publishing articles like The Divorce Gap complaining that women don’t get enough cash and prizes for divorcing, they are publishing articles like Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off:

The author is ending her marriage. Isn’t it time you did the same?

To make sure their audience knows they aren’t advocating something so gauche as men abandoning their families, the accompanying image features a group of women escaping out of the windows of their homes.  Since this isn’t a piece lobbying for more cash and prizes, The Atlantic can afford to be honest about not only the real initiators of divorce, but the real reason as well.  The piece opens with:

SADLY, AND TO my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though he did travel 20 weeks a year for work. I am a 47-year-old woman whose commitment to monogamy, at the very end, came unglued.

Posted in Divorce, Doublethink, Dr. Helen, Dr. Willard Harley, Rebuilding the mound, Sandra Tsing Loh, selling divorce, The Atlantic, Ugly Feminists | 158 Comments

The ultimate affront to cartoonish chivalry.

It is bad enough that we force women to join and even lead our military in the real world, but this has gone too far:

 

Posted in Cartoonish Chivalry, Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Envy, Feminists, Military, Ugly Feminists | 83 Comments

Why doesn’t this 28 year old manboy want to become respectable?

The Daily Mail has a new article about a 28 year old man who doesn’t want to grow up and start a family of his own.  Instead, he chooses to live with his mother and go to grad school for a degree in experimental cinema.

This is the kind of case Traditional Conservatives regularly wring their hands over.  Why are so many men refusing to man up?  The answer is obvious, but not something most want to talk about, or even admit.  In the West we have spent the last 50 years tearing down the position of husband and father, and now we are surprised that more and more men (on the margins) don’t aspire to become husbands and fathers.

The 28 year old momma’s boy isn’t named in the article, so I’ll call him
“Giovanni”.  Why doesn’t Giovanni want to strike out on his own?  I don’t have stats for Italy, but my guess is women are delaying marriage there just as they are in the US;  this greatly lowers the importance to young men of signaling provider status.  Steady Eduardo isn’t sexy, but Giovanni the brooding experimental cinema grad student is another story.  Part of the problem no doubt is he is being coddled, funded in his pursuit of worthless degrees.  But part of the reason has to also be a (perhaps unconscious) desire to avoid the contempt Western culture reserves for husbands and fathers.  The reason Giovanni’s is in the news is his divorced father was just ordered by the court to continue paying child support for his 28 year old son:

The middle-aged man was at a civil court in Modena, northern Italy to challenge a condition of his divorce settlement which stated he should pay for his grown-up child’s education.

But the judge said the young man’s course should be supported – despite the father’s claim that he ‘does not deserve any further financial support, having made no effort to find work to support himself.’

Your father is a chump Giovanni;  let that be a lesson for you!

The Daily Mail frames this as strictly an issue of courts requiring “parents” to support their grown children.  Technically this is true, as married parents have been ordered to continue supporting adult children as well.  But this isn’t just about the legal requirement of parents, and especially fathers, to financially support adult children.  While the obligations of husbands and fathers have expanded, the authority of husbands and fathers has evaporated.

More importantly, these legal changes are merely the formal codification of the changing social attitude towards husbands and fathers.  It isn’t just Western courts that have contempt for husbands and fathers, it is the culture at large.  This includes what we would call conservative culture, including conservative Christian culture.  The lack of respect is critical, because respect is an even greater motivator for men than sex is. We can fix this, as soon as we stop denying what we have done and repent of it.  In the meantime we can continue wondering why Giovanni and countless others like him across the West don’t want to be just like dear old dad.

Edit:  Welcome Instapundit readers.

Posted in Child Custody, Child Support, Daily Mail, Denial, Disrespecting Respectability, Divorce, Fatherhood, Instapundit, Weak men screwing feminism up | 113 Comments

Christian goddess worship; we are not worthy!

The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.  Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.  And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying, O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter?  saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

— Jeremiah 18:1-6 KJV

In The Shared Essence Cane Caldo argues that the Pro-Life movement’s horror at the idea of punishing women who seek abortions stems from viewing women as divine:

Pro-Lifers, a multitude of whom are professed Christians, are hiding their belief that, on the issue of babies, women are like God. They believe that the child belongs to the mother as its creator, just as Christians believe we all belong to God as our creator. They believe that because women give birth, women–like God–have power over life. They believe that therefore we must not trespass on a mother’s power to kill their creations.

My theory of their belief is consistent with the Feminist belief that a woman’s body is her temple to herself, and whatever is within is hers to do with as she will…

[There is an] essence shared by both the Feminist and Pro-Life movements. That essence is the desire to worship women.

Cane expands on his observation that modern Christians are worshiping women in follow on posts The Shadows Cast by Goddess Idols and It’s Like an Amen.

While the Pro-Life movement’s terror of holding women accountable can be sufficiently explained in more simple terms, Cane is definitely on to something here (as is Zippy).  The Pro-Life movement very openly acts as if women are on a higher spiritual and moral plane, and that men must not interfere with women’s ability to do what would be a crime if done by anyone else.  When the Trump abortion scandal first came out, Ted Cruz explained that we shouldn’t concern ourselves with whether a particular woman chooses to kill a particular child or not, and should instead be in awe at the fact that as a woman she holds the power to bring life:

Of course we shouldn’t be talking about punishing women; we should affirm their dignity and the incredible gift they have to bring life into the world.

This kind of woman worship (or at least quasi-worship) is so common now that it goes by entirely unnoticed, and Cruz’s bizarre argument didn’t even cause a minor controversy.  Of course we should focus on a woman’s power to bring life into the world and not trouble ourselves with details which are above our spiritual pay grade;  does the pot question the pot-maker?

We see the same pattern in what I have termed wife worship, and the worship of women doesn’t just happen after the marriage ceremony.  Recently Christianity Today caused an uproar over a classified ad* they ran for a father seeking a husband for his daughter.  The controversy surrounded the father noting that his daughter was a virgin;  but there was no controversy around the fact that the only stated requirement for the future son-in-law was that he recognize that he was unworthy of marrying such a goddess:

Her: godly, gorgeous, athletic, educated, careered, humorous, travelled, bilingual, 26-year-old virgin.

You: unworthy, though becoming less so daily.

You can see the same issue with the common terminology we use for Christian women.  Christian women call themselves “daughters of the King”, as Mary Kassian does in her sermon on the true meaning of 2 Timothy 3:6-7:

God doesn’t want His girls to be wimps. A daughter of the King is not wimpy and weak.

Again, this is something that no one notices because it is normal.   There is also a head-fake here, as this is not about setting Christian men and women aside from other men and women as God’s children; it is about setting Christian women aside as divine royalty.  It is used to distinguish Christian women from Christian men.

*H/T Darwinian Arminian

 

Posted in Abortion, Cane Caldo, Christianity Today, Mary Kassian, The Real Feminists, Turning a blind eye, Wife worship | 163 Comments