Reading Ms. Berry’s descriptive essay on Salon has moved Captain Capitalism to wax romantic. Coming soon to a bookstore near you:
“I looked at her…my beautiful economics professor. Oh sure, she was 47, and sure, she had 4 children and two ex-husbands, and sure the other 23 year old trust fund baby men in my class wouldn’t find her attractive…but I loved her for her intelligence. Her unwillingness to conform and teach us economics as told by the establishment. No, she rebelled. She taught us Marx. She taught us Keynes. She showed me what true beauty was, and was meant to be. She was my liberator. She liberated me from the evil thinking that was foisted upon me by my evil multi-billion-dollar father. I didn’t have to work. But I didn’t care. I was burning for her, I needed to hear her intelligent words and see her exude independence.
I swore to myself, once I earned my A in class through intelligence and parroting, I would drive up in my 2011 Mercedes Series 7 and propose to my economics and romance professor and abscond with my father’s trust fund and we could live on the beaches of Gao and burn incense and make candles and eat organic grass shoots, and write environmentalist poetry.
And we’d get cats.”
Brilliant! Although I do think he should work in a secret multimillionaire hunky handyman for the final draft.
It has also inspired him to define a new law, The Law of Rationalization Hamster Strength:
The strength of a rationalization hamster is inversely related to the looks of its host.
The more obvious the fact one is in denial of, the more ridiculous the counterexample (or counterargument) will be.