I came across an empowering story of divorce by Lorraine Berry at Salon titled How getting divorced revived my sex life (H/T Uncle Elmer).
At 38, my libido came roaring back.
What was her secret? All she had to do was divorce the man who had fathered her children and stood by her for years while she was not only injured but made herself as unattractive as possible:
By 30, I had turned into an invisible woman. I grocery shopped in sweatpants and hoodies.
Clearly what she needed was to get her groove back. Luckily her injury was remedied, a crucial step freeing her to the bliss that is divorce. Her improved health and the wisdom of her own writing lead to an epiphany:
That is, as much as I had once loved my husband — as much as he was still a good man, a great father — I wanted out.
However, like many late life divorcées, she feared she had lost her mojo. But this is where the article’s empowerment really kicks in:
…something amazing happened. Everywhere I went, people stared…
…the first man I became involved with was 24 — 14 years younger than me…
I did not need him to tell me I was sexy.
For inexplicable reasons, her relationship with the younger man didn’t last, but her empowerment continued. In fact, her story of empowerment was just beginning:
…my libido has become a permanent, prominent part of who I am now, just a few weeks shy of celebrating my 48th birthday.
I’ll take this as confirmation that women aren’t really done with men later in life. And don’t worry, just like EPL and How Stella Got Her Groove Back, this story ends with her finding commitment. Well, not exactly commitment, but an assumption of commitment:
For the past three years, I have loved and been loved by the man I assume to be my life partner.
Note: The original Salon article didn’t include photos of Ms. Berry. I know I’ll probably get some flack from some of my more feminist readers for gratuitously linking to them from my post: how dare you exploit her raw sexuality to drive traffic to your blog! The first photo is from a column of hers at Talking Writing. The second is from her profile at She Writes.
See Also: Lorraine Berry update.