One interesting thing about EPL is that it is based on actual events that happened around 10 years ago. If you are like me you are pretty close to EPL’d out, but I thought I’d share a quick summary of what I was able to find on where Elizabeth Gilbert and her ex husband are now.
Having written a book on divorce, Elizabeth decided to write a book on marriage titled Committed. From the Publishers Weekly review on Amazon:
How did a woman who didn’t want children land the only Latino hottie with a vasectomy in all of Indonesia?
I know the ladies are dying to see this Latino hottie, so here he is:
Click to see
Oh wait, thats him in the movie. Here is a picture of the guy in real life (full article):
Click to see
Now ladies, contain yourselves. Felipe is taken. You see, it turns out he needed a visa to get into the US, so he asked Elizabeth to marry him. After a year of bickering and unhappiness together, she finally said yes after he explained it to her. From the Publishers Weekly book review on Amazon.com:
When are you going to understand? As soon as we secure this bloody visa and get ourselves safely married back in America, we can do whatever the hell we want.
You couldn’t make stuff this romantic up!
In case you are curious, Elizabeth is 41. Felipe is 58 and his real name is José Nunes. From her website she now lives with José in the US, and they have many pets.
The Ex
Her real life ex is named Michael Cooper, and seems like a very cool guy. Check out his linked in bio, including a picture.
According to The Daily Beast:
A decade after Gilbert divorced him, Cooper is now married to a Canadian diplomat named Béatrice Maillé. They have two young boys, Charlie and Sammy.
I didn’t find his age, but based on his undergrad start date on his bio I’m guessing he is about 45. I couldn’t find a picture of his current wife either, but here is her linkedin page with her impressive bio. I have to say though, it sounds like this guy didn’t learn his lesson the first time around, and married another feminist. Hopefully this one is better than the last.
Dumbass Leftist marries two dumbass Leftists in a row. No surprise there. Hope he enjoys sequential ass-reamings in divorce court.
Now ladies, contain yourselves. Felipe is taken.
Her choice of Felipe isn’t all that surprising. I think hypergamy is often exaggerated. For both men and women, spouse #2 usually is a horizontal move as opposed to a move up. In this cae, Felipe has exotic panache; Cooper has hair. It evens out. I would bet that in many respects they are similar men. Most people have a type that they constantly return to.
OTOH, both Gilbert and Cooper seem to have gotten what they wanted out of life. Cooper wanted kids. His new “feminist” wife gave him two sons. Good for him! Gilbert didn’t want kids; Felipe has a vasectomy. Not what I’d have chosen, but good for her.
No, the prominent human-rights activist didn’t launch into a tirade about the throngs that were (likely at that very moment) cheering for the woman who temporarily destroyed his life, as reenacted by America’s sweetheart.
As I said before this shows class and restraint on his part. She OTOH has written a self-indulgent book. Yeah, there are some dopes who will read it, and she gets to profit from the movie, but he gets to keep his dignity by not whoring his story out. Between that and having a family, he is the clear winner in this case IMHO.
Seems like an awful lot of milage on that face for just 41. In the picture with the two of them together, is she standing on a box, or is her new Brazilian a little on the short side?
Lolz at movie Felipe vs real Felipe
I was really surprised to learn she was only 41. She looks much like my mother in law who is about 20 years older. But my mother in law still looks really young so that probably isn’t a fair comparison. I can’t find a picture of both of them where you can see who is taller. I found one where he looks taller than her, but it also looks like they are standing on good incline with him uphill. What I can say is I found an un-cropped version of that photo of the two of them and both appear to be standing.
Looking for another photo of him I learned that he is 17 years older than her, which would make him 58. Also, if anything she looks older in other photos, so it wasn’t a case of me finding a single pic which made her look older.
She’s fair-skinned. Sun damage can cause a lot of wrinkles. I do agree that she looks older than her years.
BTW, I left posts for you in the alpha/beta crayfish lure thread and the other EPL thread.
Her choice of Felipe isn’t all that surprising. I think hypergamy is often exaggerated. For both men and women, spouse #2 usually is a horizontal move as opposed to a move up. In this cae, Felipe has exotic panache; Cooper has hair. It evens out.
I don’t think when she originally divorced Cooper she had a guy like Felipe in mind. Something tells me along the way she reassessed her market value. Per Wikipedia:
In the midst of an affair, she separated from her husband and initiated a divorce, which he contested. The affair continued for some time but did not work out, leaving her devastated and alone.
I don’t think Gilbert looks too terrible for 41. She doesn’t look good, and no traces of youth remain anywhere on her face, but she doesn’t look quite ready for her AARP card just yet.
Thanks for posting the pictures, dalrock. After seeing the film, I was curious about what the people actually looked like.
OTOH, who knows what the original affair guy was like? I doubt he was a better catch than the husband either.
I’m 10+ years older and look significantly younger than she does. Her eyes look old–bags and crows-feet.
Honestly, who cares. She’s happy, he’s happy, we all make mistakes they moved on.
Aunt Haley, just read your review of the movie. Thanks for the chuckles.
My wife is a couple years older and looks a lot better. She’s fair-skinned too, plus she has the stress of three kids (which Mz Cheat-Stray-Slag doesn’t have) to furrow her brow.
Then again, my wife’s husband is a lot better looking that either Felipe, and he didn’t marry her jjust to get a green card either. So it all evens out I guess.
Thanks Dalraock for digging up – as Paul Harvey used to say – the rest of the story.
Eh, she didn’t “make a mistake.” She abused the trust of the man who originally married her, then decided to make a buck out of trashing him in public.
She’s garbage.
She looks vulpine.
Elizabeth and Felipe sing two songs to each other, both now and eternally (‘eternally’, as in after the Just Judge has pronounced upon them, and, as usual, granted them exactly what they most want, their true heart’s desire):
1) From “1984″, they clasp each other and sing:
Under the spreading chestnut tree, I used you and you used me.
2) And then, both now magically dressed as Barney the Purple Dinosaur, and both granted his goofy voice:
I use you,
You use me,
We’re a sterile entity….
3) GOTO 1.
Remember, she was working as a bartender in the Village when Cooper met her.
My guess is that her appearance is based on having more mileage than a 1970s Beetle at this point.
Nova–
Good one.
Yeah she’s garbage, whatever Lily says. Filipe’s also gonna dump her sorry ass before long, or cheat on her with younger hotter girls. And there’ll be no way she can get back at him either, since he wisely won’t marry her.
He already did marry her. He needed a visa. It might be that she’s the one with more to lose financially though.
Doug, I just don’t care. She’s nobody to me. They’re just people living their lives. People make mistakes, people hurt people intentionally or unintentionally (can you put your hand on your heart and say you haven’t). Just people. I have no wish to talk about people I don’t know or wish them ill. She’s just some woman who wrote a book about her life and people bought it. I am baffled as to why she is getting all these blog posts.
Lily, we’re not talking about people here. We’re talking about examples.
If this slut and her visa-digging Brazilian were anonymous strangers off living their lives and trying to hide from the shame of what they’ve done, eh, like you said, who cares? But this particular ditz wrote a book celebrating her lying, cheating life, Orca sold it the wymyn of American, and now there’s a chickflick splashing it all over the retinas of impressionable could-be cougars all over the country.
It’s kind of important to expose the fraud for what it is: uncivilized, sociopathic, selfish and destructive behavior.
Because what she has done is being celebrated.
Can you imagine a similarly situated man’s story being celebrated like that? A guy leaves his wife because he’s bored and travels around the world “finding himself” and bonking women? First, that would not be sold as a book or filmed — at least not in a way that would be trying to construe it as “positive” (Tucker Max got his chance, but the idea there was to show what cads men can be, not really to “celebrate liberation”, as the various campus protests against the film demonstrated). But if it would have been, it would have been protested up and down and excoriated by the female press and academy.
Why the double standard? Why excoriate men for treating women badly but then hold up women as being “enlightened and empowered” for doing what Gilbert did (and make no mistake, the Oprah-cum-feminist media has done and is doing *exactly* that).
It’s one of the biggest double standards today: male adultery is horrible, caddish, irresponsible and betraying, whereas female adultery is liberating, empowering, enlightening and self-actualizing. And women are quite happy with this double standard, as we can see amply from their reaction to Gilbert’s tale. It’s disgusting.
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@jack
I hate this “find yourself” meme. What does it mean? The culture of platitudes drives me crazy.
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wow .. so harsh. I think she looks amazing! lovely, no makeup and he has the kindest face. They both look amazingly content. Not too many pics out there of him, but the 2 I’ve seen .. I think hes very attractive … and together they look blissful.
This is ridiculous – of course, men are celebrated all the time for being non-committal, adventurous and selfish. Just because this woman isn’t what you consider beautiful, or may not be the perfect model wife you expect, you feel like you need to take time to belittle her and her new husband? I wish them both the best, and I hope small minded men and women don’t continue to diminish her into a “slut” like you are here.
@Katie189
This is ridiculous – of course, men are celebrated all the time for being non-committal, adventurous and selfish.
Of course you are correct. What was the name of that guy who left his wife for no legitimate reason and became a sort of folk hero to men? I hate it when I forget a name like that. He was the guy the men all idolized, a hero to men worldwide. I remember it so clearly. I took my wife to see the movie even. All of my buddies read the book too. We had such insightful and empowering discussions about it. And yet I can’t recall the guy’s name!
Can anyone help me?
At least she’s not going to reproduce any more (unless she get tired of “Philipe” and trades him in for a hot stud before menopause, of course).
This post is directed towards Nova Seeker and the other posters against Gilbert. First, I do not condone adultery or any form of non-marital cheating. Having an affair was definately wrong, but I am not here to judge.
I read the book, EPL, and I found it very illuminating. In this forum, Gilbert has been continuously refered to as a “slut” and in one post a question is posed thusly, “Can you imagine a similarly situated man’s story being celebrated like that? A guy leaves his wife because he’s bored and travels around the world “finding himself” and bonking women?”
It is important to note that in Gilbert’s quest she intended to avoid any and all forms of romantic relationships as well as physical intimacy for one year. Her purpose was that she was so intangled in relationships with men that she had no clue who she really was. That is what this book is about – it is a journey of self-discovery.
Some of the lessons she learned are lessons that we have already learned but still, watching how she learns it and applies the knowledge is inspiring.
I don’t know anything about her except what is written in her book and what little I have read about her. However, I understood her purpose to be one of accepting her mistakes, coming to terms with what she had done and growing from the pain.
Perhaps that is just my interpretation of the book and not her true intention; however, that interpretation gives the book a deeper meaning which has inspired others.
Do I condone her past actions – no I do not…and I think she doesn’t either which, IMHO, is why she set out on her journey. Do I think she could have done it differently? Yes, i think she could have made different decisions that may have yielded a better result. Nonetheless, in the end, she did discover who she is without a man…and like most stories I hear, it is at that time that you meet the “one.” Whether that is Jose (Felipe), well, only time will tell.
In the meantime, don’t judge her. We have all made mistakes and we have all had to attone for them. She published hers but perhaps it was to help others from making the same mistakes. To help others lost in similar ways. The book has touched many people and not because it is a rivoting page-turner, but because it gives hope-not for romantic love-but for self-love and for God’s love.
Julia: My guru has informed me that a man with spiritual drive is only allowed to leave his family with his mother’s permission or if married with his wife’s permission. He wanted to go on a private retreat as instructed by his guru many decades ago, but had to postpone it because of family obligations.
If you read books about the saint Ramakrishna you will see him not allowing married men to follow him.
I love how you’re all running your mouths left and right about a person you have absolutely no personal knowledge of and a book that I’m willing to bet 99.9% of you haven’t even picked up and looked at.
Eat, Pray, Love is a memoir — It’s a book that’s brutally truthful, honest, and quite frankly, it’s inspirational. Gilbert doesn’t sugarcoat anything or try to disillusion everyone into believing life is all sunshine and roses. I’m willing to bet EVERY SINGLE PERSON who posted on here has, at some point in life, made a monumental mistake that either hurt someone close to you or made you look like a complete jackass when all was said and done. It’s a part of life, people make mistakes, people act selfishly, people are not perfect. That’s all a part of this wonderful concept those of us in the psychology world call being human.
I find it quite amusing how the usual double standard is so prevalent here as well. It’s okay for men to cheat on their wives, think with the brain between their legs, chase tail all around town, and objectify women to the point where they’re almost entirely dehumanized … But it isn’t okay for a woman who is unsatisfied in her marriage to separate from her husband (and eventually divorce him), attempt to connect with someone new (even though it was unsuccessful), decide to spend a year traveling while trying to restore her mental and emotional health, and happen to meet the love of her life along that road? She wasn’t unfaithful to her husband before they were separated, she practiced self-imposed celibacy for the first 9 months of her travels in order to allow herself time to heal emotionally and spiritually (pretty funny that this person you’re labeling a “slut” has only slept with two men since she divorced, isn’t it?), and hey, guess what, her husband took EVERYTHING she had in the divorce, so in order to get back on her feet her publishing company offered her the opportunity to turn this trip into a memoir. Big effing deal. She is a WRITER. This is her CAREER. She had EVERY RIGHT to publish that book.
I can’t believe people would attack this woman. She made a mature adult choice to end her marriage because her and her husband wanted different things out of life. She didn’t want children, he did. She didn’t want the whole “white picket fence” lifestyle, he did. She wanted a man who was emotionally stable and mature, a man who could put his mind to one task instead of bouncing all over the place and being indecisive, he wasn’t like that at all. These are big hurdles to overcome and more often than not they’re “deal breakers.” At least she was responsible enough to leave the marriage when she did instead of allowing it to drag out and having a child just to satisfy her husband.
For the record – Charlie Sheen, Brad Pitt, Jude Law, David Arquette, Jesse James — There’s a whole laundry list of well-known men who are absolutely disgusting womanizing pigs who have had affairs and wouldn’t know what monogamy is if it hit them in the face, and yet society STILL puts them on pedestals and keeps them in the spotlight and people STILL look up to them and admire them. They may not have written memoirs about their experiences, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t use their social status and public influence to emotionally exploit the people who at one point in time loved them.
I think this woman is admirable. It’s just a shame that people have to be so bitter and rude.
Nikki: “I love how you’re all running your mouths left and right about a person you have absolutely no personal knowledge of …”
You forgot his part very quickly, I must say.
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I wish them well. I know many Latinos are Catholic, so I really hope Elizabeth has now found the true God. She seems to be putting a lot of effort into this second marriage.
And good for the ex too, remarrying and having kids. The book made her reason for divorce and her mixed feelings more relatable than the movie, though I’m glad the film showed how much she hurt her husband instead of just making him the bad guy. She was right about one thing: she had been irresponsible with relationships and needed time to figure things out alone, before risking hurting another guy as well as herself.
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Dalrock, EPL may be an extreme case of a husband getting screwed over by female solipsism, but lots of women do similar things on a smaller scale, within their own social circle. They may not write a book to millions advertising how they cuckolded their ex, but they will spill stories about you on Facebook to divert judgement from having cheated, for example.
This is why I have my own revenge file. Women can run their hamsters all day and make themselves think their truly b***hy days are forgotten or explained away. But the hamster cannot outrun the truth written down as it really happened. I write down and keep the really good quotes, the stories where she blew up at something really minor and stayed mad for days, that sort of thing. If she wraps herself up in her own self-indulgent mind and decides to put all my dirty laundry out for the world, I can just put “the rest of the story” out there and once it isn’t making her look so glamorous to her friends as she hoped, you’d be surprised how fast she gets shaken out of her self centeredness.
The revenge file, every heterosexual man needs one. (Do NOT breathe a word of it to your girl, idiot. Just smile and say nothing until that day comes.)
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“I wish them well. I know many Latinos are Catholic, so I really hope Elizabeth has now found the true God.”
That narcissistic bitch imagines that every time she looks in the mirror. Cannot believe that women here actually justify her selfish,narcissistic behaviour like it just happened by accident. Streuth, no wonder guys are looking at anything but marriage with this shining example put on a pedestal….
Julia, your post is contradictory and really illustrates the way women think about relationships these days. You’re ‘not here to judge’…this is something I hear from women a lot, they aren’t going to judge people, and ‘Don’t judge me’, but, where do you draw the line? What do people have to do before others say ‘That’s enough’? “Not judging” sounds cool, I guess;I just see it as not having any kind of a moral stance in life. Women judge pretty quickly when it’s another woman hurt, though, don’t they, even without evidence! A man cheats once, or even suspected of it and all the girlfriends advise kicking him out. Women get book deals and leeway, this bias even is evident in criminal cases (Duke, Winkler, Anthony).
In addition, I’m sorry, but how do you not know who you are? Be so involved in a relationship that you do not know yourself? It’s either frantic excuse-making, or the signs of mental illness…do women just parrot this stuff without really thinking about what it means? I was a small child when , in the 60s, I caused my father to roar with laughter when I asked what could be happening to give so many women amnesia? At 6 or 7 years old it sounded like a crock to me, and it still does.
For Gilbert this may be ‘The One’ but only time will tell!? Isn’t the appearance of The One unmistakable? Trumpets and angels and all? Did she think her husband was The One, or was he just to tide her over? I’m being facetious, but the idea of The One is one of the more destructive ideas in the American courtship model. Were you aware of the fact that this belief is not shared by other cultures?.
Nikki, the fact that you now even less about the posters here than we all know about Gilbert didn’t stop you, I see.
“I’m willing to bet EVERY SINGLE PERSON who posted on here has, at some point in life, made a monumental mistake that either hurt someone close to you or made you look like a complete jackass”
Fortunately no, I have not made a ‘mistake’ on this scale. This was not a “mistake” but a conscious decision to walk away from a marriage from boredom, after cheating with another man. Those are conscious decisions, not “mistakes” like spilling your coffee, however I think that women’s worst, most calculated behavior being dismissed as ‘mistakes’ will one day prove to be a double-edged sword. By calling such behavior ‘mistakes’ you virtually absolve women from the consequences of their actions…as well as paint women as weak-willed creatures who can’t find their behinds with both hands (‘She snapped’ ‘she must have been abused’ ‘she must be mentally ill’).
“It’s okay for men to cheat on their wives, think with the brain between their legs, chase tail all around town, and objectify women to the point where they’re almost entirely dehumanized”
You must be crapped out after building a straw man of those dimensions! No one here said any of that at all, much less that they approved. Oh, and call me old-fashioned, but the first thing I would deem it wise to do when ‘unsatisfied’ in a marriage is to talk about it! Try to save it! Not just be gone one day when the husband comes home, this husband, like many, ‘had no idea’. That’s not considerate, nor mature.
I won’t even get into the ‘mystical magical brown people know all the secrets of life’ meme the book, and so much pop culture dreck is based on…..(really, you don’t want me to go there).
‘that’ so much pop culture dreck is based on’
Is she really 41? My grandmother looked better at 90. As for the ‘hot stud’—well, I guess that’s further proof that women really go for the ‘Alpha’ types—LOL
Nikki:
Don’t get discouraged, a lot of us men here like reading posts like yours. We need these occasional reminders of why we stopped dating American women.
Dalrock:
Isn’t it illuminating reading all these posts from the ‘Sisterhood’? It’s funny listening to them rant against divorce, adultery, sluttiness—only until one of their own gender sells her story and then they revert to type: NAWALT; all men are pigs, she’s the victim, she’s entitled, &c. &c &c. Maybe if women didn’t end all relationships 90% of the time and have a demonstrable track-record of being abusers, liars, cheaters, betrayers and sluts in most relationships a story like EPLs might have some more credibility. Too bad—it’s like like listening to these politicians who just get out of jail and write books claiming that their crimes were ‘in the public interest’.
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Eric:
Don’t get discouraged either by all these sluts on here (to quote The Princess Bride here: I don’t think the word means what you think it means…), who dare to post their opinion instead of pumping out babies and keeping the kitchen nice and tidy. Please keep posting misogynist dribble like that so we can have a constant reminder why we evil feminist sluts don’t date disgusting, self-indulgent assholes like you anymore, be they American or not.
Elizabeth Gilbert is not my favourite person on the planet either, but the hatred expressed here is ridiculous, and obviously there are quite a number of people on here who need some serious therapy. I don’t think this woman has done anything to hurt either of you, and if you don’t like her, just, you know, don’t read her stuff. Quite simple really. And she looks just fine for a 41-year-old.
Nikki
You call what this famous woman did a mistake and that we shouldn’t judge her. Yet you name famous men who did the same thing and call them disgusting pigs. You lie that she just left her husband and you leave out that she cheated. This book has become the best selling memoir of all times, celebrating this cheater. Revealing the true great double standard women hold against men, as they of course drag all cheating men through the mud.
You’re a hypocritical, vile, hateful, vomit-inducing cunt.
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This is in response to ERIC’s statements:
The fact that you spend so much time writing about chick lit (a.k.a. chick literature) shows that you have alot bigger problems than your shi**y relationships. Its a book written by a woman for women meant to be inspirational and honest about one person’s life experience. You might get the point if you had a vagina, which is debatable, considering you either read chick lit or watch chick flicks. I hope you find peace with a sexually confused young man and are able to resolve your anger issues towards women.
5 years later..
Gilbert: I’m bored. I want a divorce.
Felipe: But I thought we had something?
Gilbert: I’m just not haaaaappy. I think I just need some alone time. I’m going to take a trip to South America to rediscover myself and (insert cultural platitude here).
Felipe. WTF.
her third book: South American spinsterhood.
the proceeds will support her Costco catfood supply since she will have used up 50% of Felipe’s cash on south american squandering through the rico suave carousel.
As a young guy just coming onto this ‘scene’ I have to express a big “WOW” at the women commenting here.
After watching the film and being shocked all the way through, I honestly thought that most women were at least reasonable enough to see what this film was doing, and here you have women furiously defending it.
The quote that most got to me was this one:
“ln Bali, after a divorce, a woman gets nothing, not even her children.”
She “gets” (as if it’s a reward or something) nothing “not even” (her children aren’t the highest priority?) “her” (the way this is phrased seems to imply exclusive ownership) children.
I’m not sure that you could call me a Christian yet (baptised and confirmed but until recently I hadn’t even read the Bible), I’ve never taken the idea of ‘Satan’ seriously, but I really felt like something evil was at work here, we barely even get to see her married life, but you almost get the sense that marriage is something highly oppressive and soul-destroying, while everything superficial and mundane (eating, travel, short-term friendships that end when you leave the country) is portrayed as the only true ‘happiness’ in life.
One of the repeated themes in The Book of Proverbs is that of the “strange woman”, who represents not just the adulteress, but can also represent foreign (false) gods and religious practices. So I found it interesting that this film which promotes divorce and what is essentially adultery should put so much emphasis on “finding oneself” through bong-headed “spirituality”.
As for the women here suggesting that it’s just ‘one woman’s journey’ and that nobody should ‘judge her’…
How can it be “inspirational” (as the women here have called it) to make a very PUBLIC display of something that should be kept private, for the sake of her own dignity, but more importantly, for the sake of her husband’s. She should be ashamed of what she’s done.
“Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her QUIETLY.”
Joseph acted discreetly because he was mindful of not hurting Mary even when from his perspective at that point in time HE had been wronged.
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel.
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James, men have much higher “rule awareness” than women, as they’re now calling it in psychology.
H.L. Mencken described this blindspot women suffer from as follows almost a century ago:
Perhaps one of the chief charms of woman lies precisely in the fact that they are dishonourable, i.e., that they are relatively uncivilized. In the midst of all the puerile repressions and inhibitions that hedge them round, they continue to show a gipsy spirit. No genuine woman ever gives a hoot for law if law happens to stand in the way of her private interest. She is essentially an outlaw, a rebel, what H. G. Wells calls a nomad.
More recently, Harvey Mansfield put it like this: A woman’s “advantage over men is her total disregard of ‘some God of Abstract Justice’ to which men are unable to be indifferent.”
You can’t expect very much from one these days, especially now that being an outlaw is “empowering” and “liberating”. Why we’re doing this is beyond me. There’s nothing more for them to find, which is, I suppose, why so much work previously went into confining them in roles. Without the latter, they return to their default (criminal, hell-raising) ways without regard to anyone else, and they really don’t see what the deal is. Which is why apologies never seem to be forthcoming. From their perspective, “winning” amounts to getting attention, so if anything the more fuss they cause the more it “proves” to them that they must be doing something right. Where do you think the Hell’s Angels got their name from?
As a person who just bumped into this site and read a bit.
You all seem like bitter people who care too much about other peoples’ lives in the most pretentious way possible. Please, get a grip.
P.s. Don’t even reply to this because I won’t be reading the response(s) anyways. Instead of thinking hard about how you could out smart me, for once just soak it in.
[D: Thanks for the feedback. I modified your handle slightly since you won't be using it anyway. Sorry the whole EPL thing didn't work out for you like in the movies.]
Yeah.
I’ve written before about my friends who divorced after 17 years of marriage.
He is remarried to a very kind woman who had been divorced herself. (I didn’t recommend it, but…..)
His ex wife lives in a shithole with her kids (of whom she insisted on having custody so she could get the child support). She quit a Christian ministry for her divorce. She dates (and occasionally sleeps with) alcoholics and spendthrifts and bar bums.
Sad. Just sad. That’s the real story of “divorce your husband for unhaaaaaappiness”.
@ deti – well did your friend’s new wife divorce for unhappiness? It seems to have worked out for her. I think that most people realize that there are no guarantees in life. Your life may be better after your divorce, it may be worse, it may be exactly the same but without the spouse that you couldn’t stand living with. Chances are it will be better in some ways and worse in others. Most of the divorced women that I know remarried and got good husbands.
One of the things I like most about this blog, is the way older posts, posts I have never seen, recur, (and not just those where I say to myself ‘Did I really write THAT?’) in time for a fresh round of hamster-baiting. Dalrock sure knows how to drive those Hamsters crazy: He has an entire cage-full here – he could start a pet-shop. When I looked at the first picture of Felipe above, I thought ‘That’s terrible, she’s really slumming it’ and then it transpired that that was the movie star Felipe – ye gods there are any number of good-looking, handsome, but otherwise unemployed young men euphemistically calling themsleves ‘tour guides’ in many third-world countries only too keen to Man-Up, provided that a green-card is involved. Perhaps we should go easier on Gilbert; at least she did not just go abroad and merely rent by the day – a form of sexual colonialism. The girl’s obviously the marrying (and divorcing) type. I wonder what the latest on Gilbert is – and indeed her former hubby?
Yes T, we get it, all your the women you know are former carousel riders, sluts and harridans. When’s your divorce date coming up by the way? Got it planned and all that, preparing for the big EPL holiday?
“well did your friend’s new wife divorce for unhappiness?”
No. My friend’s new wife divorced her husband because he embezzled money from his employer and got fired, then indicted for embezzlement and theft. The dude blew up a 15 year marriage.
Contrary to popular belief, I know there are good women out there, and I know there are asshats out there. Some of those good women are married to some of those asshats.
My problem is that feminism has so saturated our society that we hear only about the male asshats (and the hordes of women who want to f*ck them), and the innocent, doe eyed, kind hearted babes in the woods who are totally screwed over by….. a man. Who is ALWAYS portrayed as an asshat.
You all seem like bitter people who care too much about other peoples’ lives in the most pretentious way possible. Please, get a grip.
It is all about understanding a reality that most institutions (e.g. media, churches, government) are more or less ignoring. It comes out a bit “rough and tough” because of the intense desire to tease out the truth..
She dates (and occasionally sleeps with) alcoholics and spendthrifts and bar bums.
Maybe she is happier that way. Tingles, and all that.
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Not to resurrect a dead thread,but…..You know for all the nose-thumbing done by the women,excuse me, cheating sluts who found EPL “inspirational” (Gee, I wonder why men might be angry about the idea that raping them in divorce court and all the emotional turmoil that entails for a man might be seen as “spiritual” by women they may potentially become entangled with?) as much as they try to malign the character of men here, it is really far sadder that they can’t even allow men to have a conversation without putting in their (unwanted) two cents. They could have just gone to some Lorena Bobbitt fangurl page and wrote up a glowing review of EPL, but no….they had to butt in where their opinion was obviously unsought.
But, if ignorance or a lack of understanding of a man’s point of view is really what is causing the communicative disconnect,allow me to edify.Whenever a man sees you praising what this woman did, it sounds basically how it would sound to you if all the men in your life were to celebrate Richard “The Night Stalker” Ramirez’s “true life story” and exhort you not to judge him for those few “mistakes”, or women he raped and murdered,and whose blood he used to scrawl his ethos, in the form of Satanic slogans and symbols, on the walls of his victims.
What the woman in this story was considered a serious crime for most of Western History by most civilized people.You are celebrating fraud, in that she took vows that she violated and she misrepresented herself to her betrothed, you are celebrating bullying, in that men with guns were employed somewhere between “I’m unhappy” and the final marriage annulment, you are celebrating cheating done by a woman, which contrary to popular belief is almost never supported by a majority of men when it’s a man cheating on his wife, you are celebrating betrayal, and moreover, you are celebrating all of these things being done on a lark with no consideration of any party other than this narcissistic woman’s own non-existent conscience.
If I decided to celebrate a sociopathic Satanic narcissist unlawfully and remorselessly pleasuring himself with the bodies of unwilling women and then killing them after they had outlived their usefulness to him, I would not be doing anything very different than what you are doing.
I’m aware that probably none of these women will see this, and even if they did, I’m certain it would not sink in. I guess I’m just saying, don’t be surprised and don’t complain if the male response to all this is “Eat (human flesh),Pray (to Beelzebub),Love (raping and killing women)”. You’d absolutely deserve it.
Beatrice Maille is the white one
http://www.sandiego.edu/peacestudies/images/ipj/ChristineAtukoit-MalingaandBeatriceMaille_000.jpg
http://media.linkedin.com/mpr/mprx/0_GNQk24Pu8YBRts8du1TB2s3fCUkNYJ3d8PtR2UlggYKkTg9WmtneCRLPuzXwjOhLiBksipf64siu
Wow!! I can’t believe all the hateful stuff in these commits. I really pity each of you. To look at a happy couple and infuse it with politics and bitterness is quite sad.
I agree @Not A Feminist. Was reading some to see intelligent and interesting dialogue, but the comments seem rife with judgment, bitterness and venom. No idea why these people would seek out a page on an autobiographical account of a personal process if they hated it, or the author, as much as they appear to. Commenting on how they look for their age? Ridiculously shallow and pathetic – perhaps they should be redirected to a reality show.
the excellent news is….. Felipe can abandon her after two years, and merely make any assertion of physical abuse – and go on welfare and still get his Green Card and American citizenship. And bringing him into the USA? She had to sign a affidavit swearing to support him for TEN YEARS, no matter what. Go look it up. The law was dreamed up by feminists trying to shutdown old divorced guys from bring home 19 year old Filipina wives. The only thing it really accomplished was to make those guys investigate how easy it is to JUST GO LIVE THERE and have THREE 19 year olds to shtup. Take a trip to Cebu City, they are ALL OVER THE PLACE. White guys from every country, and tons of Japanese, Taiwanese, and Koreans.
@Dalrock “Of course you are correct. What was the name of that guy who left his wife for no legitimate reason and became a sort of folk hero to men? I hate it when I forget a name like that. He was the guy the men all idolized, a hero to men worldwide. I remember it so clearly. I took my wife to see the movie even. All of my buddies read the book too. We had such insightful and empowering discussions about it. And yet I can’t recall the guy’s name!
Can anyone help me?”
I believe the man you are trying to remember is the Buddha. He left his wife and newborn son in order to “seek enlightenment.” Somehow, despite that, he managed to become “perfected” and has been/is worshipped by millions. I hope that helps.
@novaseeker “Can you imagine a similarly situated man’s story being celebrated like that?”
I’m thinking the Buddha is far more “celebrated” than Elizabeth Gilbert.
http://brownieslament.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-could-buddha-abandon-his-son.html
It’s very clear that not one of you actually read either of Ms. Gilbert’s books. I’ve read both, so let me correct your ignorant accusations based on creative interpretation of crap you found on the internet:
1.) She did NOT “cheat” on her husband. She filed for divorce and left him. He contested it. While they were separated and she was trying to finalize the divorce, she met and started dating someone else. She had already left her husband and filed for divorce. The only reason they were still legally married is because he was pathetic and controlling enough to not let her leave. Sad.
2.) She did not run off to “bang” men all over the world. The only man she had sex with was the one she eventually married, and their meeting took place almost a year after the divorce was finalized. But even if she DID want to have sex with lots of different men, who cares? Men get divorced and travel and sleep with women all the time and nobody bats an eyelash. Who the heck would she have been hurting? Not a soul.
I really enjoyed “Eat, Pray, Love.” But, then again, I’m not a puritanical woman-hating pig who thinks women exist only to serve husbands and breed. I have this radical notion that women are human beings and should be allowed the freedom to set and change the paths of their lives in pursuit of happiness and success. But what do I know? I’m just some crazy leftist feminist. I should burn my college degree, cancel my future plans, obey my husband like a good-natured little dog, breed young, and do laundry until I die of disappointment. Travel? Adventure? Passion? Learning? Love? PSSHT! That sh*ts for men, amiright? (SARCASM)
@Ate, Prayed, Loved…
She didn’t come right out and say so, but I think she DID cheat on him. She said she moved into David’s house direct from leaving her husband. Not my place – or those others who posted here – to judge.
Hear, hear! She left a marriage that was at a total impasse. He wanted kids; she did not. She wanted to want kids, but she knew at the deepest level that she did not. I commend her for leaving before, not after, she brought a couple of kids into a world where only one parent wanted them. I have no doubt that had she chosen to get pregnant and bear children, she would have loved them and been the best mom she could be. The marriage probably still would have ended in divorce. This way, no children were in the middle.
I totally agree that her husband was a pathetic, money-grubbing slug. Of COURSE he didn’t want her to leave … she was his meal-ticket. To this day, she writes him checks. EPL says they came to a settlement, so, it would seem that is something she agreed to do. If it’s okay with her, I guess it’s okay with me. But he seems to me to be a lot like all the women the men on here gripe about – in language I am not okay with using. Now he is happily married (so he says) with two kids (and a monthly check from her), and she is happily married to a man who respects her needs. I see this as a good outcome.
These guys will call us trolls and cunts. They can get in line to kiss my foot.
Dalrock: What was the name of that guy who left his wife for no legitimate reason and became a sort of folk hero to men?
Connie: I believe the man you are trying to remember is the Buddha. He left his wife and newborn son in order to “seek enlightenment.”
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” — 1st Tim 5:8
Anonymous…
???
Connie, no one here cares about you or your cuntish foot. Yes, you’re a troll and a femcunt.
As to the beach cunt above, lol no. If marriage is to be of any worth it needs to be upheld as a moral choice for life. No choosey after marriage, choosey before marriage, yes? Make your choice and stick to it. Only worthless pieces of asscrap, that would be you by the way, destroy what is meant to be a lifelong promise.
You have my permission to go *beeeeeeeep* yourself, ok? Lolbye!
@ Feminist Hater -
I bet your mama is really proud of you. Tell it to my ex, who decided three months after we were married that he didn’t want children, even though he assured me before marriage (campaign promise) that he did. Well, I have no kids because I loved him more than myself.
You have my permission to do the same, you worthless scumbag.
FM… don’t sink to Connie’s level. It’s unbecoming.
She picked a bad man, and suffered for it. For all our howling here about what bad women do to men, it must be admitted that the reverse also happens (although rather less often.)
Just let her go.
And the claws come out! Yeehaa! Come on sista, show us what you got!
VRN, check her other posts, her only reason for being here is to spit on us.
This movie came on television two nights ago and I watched it for the first time. It really isn’t about divorce. It was typical self-absorbed American Hollywood silliness, but the scenery was nice and showed other cultures in a positive light, for once.
@Nergal…
I’m not trying to start a fight with you. Please tell me how EG “raped” her husband in court when all these years later she is still paying him off. Please tell me why she is in a different situation from men who leave a childless marriage for (insert reason here) and end up paying maintenance (alimony), not that I’ve ever seen that happen.
You may not believe it since I just got into a fight with FH, but I would really like to hear your view on this.
” Please tell me how EG “raped” her husband in court when all these years later she is still paying him off. Please tell me why she is in a different situation from men who leave a childless marriage for (insert reason here) and end up paying maintenance (alimony), not that I’ve ever seen that happen.”
In the movie her husband was portrayed as the jobless, ephemeral, dreamer sort. The type no parents in my country would allow their daughter to marry. And you make a good point that they were childless. If there are no children then there really is no reason not to divorce if the marriage is bad. And being that he moved on and married a woman who he fathered children with shows that he is happier for it. On Elizabeth’s dime!
@East is Best …
She doesn’t say anything negative about his conduct during the marriage in the book. I am appalled that she is still paying him off, but if she was willing to do that to get rid of him, it tells me a lot more about him that she wrote. It tells me he cared mostly about money and that he has NO pride. I’m glad they are both happier now. It tells me her decision to end the marriage was right.
Which is your country?
@Elise : Couldn’t agree with you more!
!!
@Connie : Awesome reply about Buddha
@Snigdha
Thanks!
@Elise
Amen.
Oh Connie, not that this matters but
all of that wasn’t meant for you but for Ate, Prayed, Loved. If you look under the topic “A Tale of Two Beaches” you will notice a commentator with the name ‘Not A Beach’. It was meant for her. ‘Ate, Preyed and slutted’ is the same person as Is a Beach Cunt.
Well, that was just an FYI!
Take care now!
@FH
Actually, it does matter – to me. Thank you for letting me know that you were not speaking to me. I appreciate it.
You take care, too.
@FH…
And, since it wasn’t directed at me, I apologize for my reaction.
@Connie,
“Hear, hear! She left a marriage that was at a total impasse. He wanted kids; she did not. She wanted to want kids, but she knew at the deepest level that she did not. I commend her for leaving before, not after, she brought a couple of kids into a world where only one parent wanted them. ”
You grew up in a protestant church. You were active in GA and did Bible Study with Kay Arthur.
As a christian, help us understand your knowledge about:
1. divorce
2. marriage after a divorce
Are either permissible for a Christian? If Yes, under what circumstances?
Have you studied either of these topics with your Bible and a concordance?
Have you studied either of these topics with other Bible study aids; ie, Greek interlinear, Vines NT Dictionary of Greek, Matthew Henry commentary, Scofield Notes, other commentaries, Bible study software, etc?
Before your second marriage did you discuss these topics with more than one church leader? Did you actively seek a multitude of counsel on these topics?
Thanks for your feedback.
@Bee
This will take longer than I have right now; I have a ton of paperwork to get through. I will get back to you. But yes, I did discuss remarriage with more than one church leader. I use the John McArthur study Bible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._MacArthur
More later…
“The only reason they were still legally married is because he was pathetic and controlling enough to not let her leave. Sad.”
Chick cant get enough of alpha assholeness … blame it on the man …
Typical self-absorbed, self entitled, female arrogance & delusion …
“Typical self-absorbed, self entitled, female arrogance & delusion …”
Alot like connie & the vast majority of female posters …
Ridiculous post above about the Buddha.
In the altar of their Gods – the almighty hamsters they eat, love and pray for -, many modern ‘women’ can sacrifice even the very idea of Enlightenment and Salvation, the Reality no true Man could so far introduce them to.
Nikki says:
‘I can’t believe people would attack this woman. She made a mature adult choice to end her marriage because her and her husband wanted different things out of life. She didn’t want children, he did. She didn’t want the whole “white picket fence” lifestyle, he did. She wanted a man who was emotionally stable and mature, a man who could put his mind to one task instead of bouncing all over the place and being indecisive, he wasn’t like that at all.’
erm….. He was offering her family, security, and purpose, she rejects it and yet HE comes off as indecisive???
Never mind that you also paint him as unstable and immature even in light of this knowledge… How is it logic and reason have been discarded??? How do you not see the tragic irony in the situation? You believe the ugly lie of feminism, that’s why. And so enters cognitive dissonance.
No I haven’t seen the movie, you couldn’t pay me to see the movie. It’s exactly because of ‘finding yourself’ rubbish like this that I’m not on Facebook or any other social media. Society is dripping in this equality-driven madness, and being here is like finding solid ground.
It’s time for a counter-revolution… Time to reclaim patriarchy!