What’s more annoying than a feminist in her teens or 20s? One in her late 30s or 40s!
Reading the blogosphere or current magazine stories, you would think that the average women finds herself in her late thirties desperate to find a husband. Yet as I found when researching Grey Divorce, this is anything but the case. For example, most white women still marry in their early or mid twenties, and roughly 90% are married before they turn 40. So these women in their late thirties or early forties pining for a suitable husband must be a fraction of the remaining 10% (not everyone wants to marry). So why all of the noise? I think it is no coincidence that the remaining 10% is the demographic of magazine editors. If they aren’t staring down the barrel of spinsterhood themselves, they have a lot of friends who are.
I recall how irritating feminists were when I was in my teens and twenties. They were constantly bleating “I don’t need a man”, or “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”. Yes, but all I asked is if this bus goes downtown.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that this is the charming stage of feminism. The stage where they are full of youthful idealism and can-do attitude. They really believe anything boys can do they can do better. And at that age you can’t really fault them yet for not being able to prove it. So they are annoying, but in the same way as a young twentysomething who is convinced they know the secret to walking across the freeway. Sure it’s asinine, but you have to admire the sincerity of their convictions. Meanwhile, I’ll take the overpass just to be safe…
But now the feminists are back, stuck on the grill of the mack truck of life, and they want to complain to us about their misfortune!
So we get this rash of articles advising women to marry him, or hand wringing about the state of men today. Instead of “I don’t need a man!”, the new battle cry is “Where have all of the good men gone?”
These aging single career women wander into Roissy’s blogs on a fairly regular basis. He attracts them like flies because he continually points out that the clock is ticking, and for many of them the alarm has already rung.
They can’t find a man. Or “no man wants to commit”. They say old school patriarchy things like men should grow up and take responsibility. Often they will briefly revert to form, claiming all they really need from a man is sperm. But of course, if this were really true it would be the easiest problem in the world to solve. They don’t just want sperm from a man, they want him to be obligated (financially and otherwise) to be a dad. But they want his obligation to come with no obligation on themselves. Of course, no man worth his salt is anxious to sign up for that sort of bargain; so instead of going off and having babies, they continue their public gnashing of teeth.
The thing is, I do sort of feel bad for these aging feminists, at least until I read something like grep’s outstanding recent blog post or remember that they want my daughter to be a hooker. I don’t wish them ill. I just wish they would stick to one slogan. Barring that, maybe they could admit they were wrong?
Original image by Julie Patricia, who released it into the public domain.